Boys using ladies loos

iammumtoone

I have this issue. My son (7) now wants to go into the mens, I want him to use the ladies! Depending on the area/situation I sometimes allow him to use the mens whilst I wait anxiously outside. I find the main problem with this is he is small for his age and sometimes cannot get out of the door :eek: Most toilet doors (mains door not cubicle door) are heavy to pull open for a child who can only just reach the handle to open it. On more than one occasion I have been known to open the door slightly and shout his name to check he is ok

One the subject of girls in mens toilets when out with Dad. I have actually been in a toilet when a male has come in with his daughter. Nobody said anything to him it didn't bother me as if I had a daughter I would rather her to be taken to the ladies than the mens so understood his reason for doing so. It wasn't his fault unisex/Family toilets should be more widely available.

lisawood78

I drive across Europe a lot and it seems to be quite common just to close one gender of toilets for cleaning (completely closed) and instead of all the affected people crossing their legs for an age they all just share the other genders toilets. I've seen it done on more than a handful of occasions. I've never even really thought about it, just done what everybody else was doing. Although there appear to be no urinals in the male toilets, or there are but they are not used while there are ladies about, like I said I've never really taken much notice. Doesn't worry me in the slightest.

Kynthia

I think some women without children might think it strange to see an older boy in the ladies toilets. However they've probably never considered that the alternative is that they go in the gents on their own and depending on the location and their age it might be worrying for their mum.


I've just had a daughter and the earlier post has just made me think about how my OH will take her to the loo in years to come. Most places have a disabled toilet if they don't have a family one, I have to use them now when I need to go and have the pram with me, but at places like train stations they require a special key.

Savvy_Sue

I don't mind how old males are when they're using the ladies toilets, but PLEASE ask your sons to PUT THE SEAT DOWN AFTERWARDS in the ladies.

There's a garden DH and I visit regularly which has two ladies' and one gents' toilet, it gives me great joy to see that there is regularly a queue for the gents and very rarely one for the ladies, maybe because there seem to be more men than ladies there on the days we visit.

Sometimes if none of us ladies are around a gent will use one of the ladies' toilets, which again is fine but WHY DON'T THEY PUT THE SEAT DOWN AFTERWARDS?

Talking of unisex toilets, I think it was in France I encountered two toilets next to each other, without any cubicles around them! :eek:

System

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I don't mind how old males are when they're using the ladies toilets, but PLEASE ask your sons to PUT THE SEAT DOWN AFTERWARDS in the ladies.

There's a garden DH and I visit regularly which has two ladies' and one gents' toilet, it gives me great joy to see that there is regularly a queue for the gents and very rarely one for the ladies, maybe because there seem to be more men than ladies there on the days we visit.

Sometimes if none of us ladies are around a gent will use one of the ladies' toilets, which again is fine but WHY DON'T THEY PUT THE SEAT DOWN AFTERWARDS?

Talking of unisex toilets, I think it was in France I encountered two toilets next to each other, without any cubicles around them! :eek:

lol i wish my housemate would put the bloody toilet seat down, though he's 40+ so i have given up hope!

i think its ok for boys to use toilets up till maybe puberty, mainly because i think after that a lot of boys might feel somewhat self concious and prefer to use the mens anyway.

i don't have a problem with unisex toilets though, and a few months ago my friend and i used the mens at an event we went to as the queue for the ladies was ridiculous (however we were drunk and my friend ran though shouting "it's ok i have a penis!" which got a few odd looks)

Mrs_Soup

My sons are 4 and 7 and will continue using the ladies until they are happy to go in the gents on their own. When out as a family we do now send them with my husband rather than me though. Ladies is all cubicles anyway so what is there that they shouldn't see. If the toilets are otherwise empty I would encourage them to go to the gents together if they wanted to.

FBaby

I think some women without children might think it strange to see an older boy in the ladies toilets.

I do, but that's because I do think that there comes a time when any child should be taught to be confident enough to go in a male loo on their own without feeling that the big bad wolf is going to eat them. My boy started going alone from the age of 5. First time he was a bit nervous and probably weed is record speed, but I was at the door ready to go in if he'd been more than 2 minutes!

I would never say anything though because I appreciate that there are children with learning difficulties for whom it might not be appropriate to go on their own, but a 8 years old, let alone 10yo with no difficulties, I would really question why they need their mum right next to them just to do a wee.

choccymoose

My 9 year old had been going into the male toilets for about a year, however last month we were at an event at the beach on the other side of town. He needed to go to the toilet as he started walking over 2 PCSO s appeared and stopped him going in followed by 2 police cars. The toilets were cordened off and a man was taken away. Scenes of crime then arrived and the toilets were closed for a couple of hours. We have since discovered that the man was a sex offender who lives locally ! He was seen enjoying himself in the toilets by a grandfather while watching young children! Has put me off letting him use the men's toilets, we told my son that someone had had an accident as I don't want to worry him but that was a little to close for comfort.

iris

If Mom and Dad are out together and their son wants the toilet then why can't the son go with his Dad.


I have often been waiting in a long queue for the ladies toilet and there have been mothers together with their sons also waiting, making the queue even longer. However, when I leave the toilets generally the Father is waiting outside and there is no queue at the gents toilet.


I have also found this type of thing happening at caravan parks - mothers taking their sons into the ladies showers/toilets and thus making everyone queue for the showers and toilets, whilst the male showers etc are almost empty. Dad is usually sat at the caravan reading the paper!


However, I do understand if there is no male to accompany the young boy.

FBaby

choccymoose wrote: »

My 9 year old had been going into the male toilets for about a year, however last month we were at an event at the beach on the other side of town. He needed to go to the toilet as he started walking over 2 PCSO s appeared and stopped him going in followed by 2 police cars. The toilets were cordened off and a man was taken away. Scenes of crime then arrived and the toilets were closed for a couple of hours. We have since discovered that the man was a sex offender who lives locally ! He was seen enjoying himself in the toilets by a grandfather while watching young children! Has put me off letting him use the men's toilets, we told my son that someone had had an accident as I don't want to worry him but that was a little to close for comfort.

I had this discussion with my son the first time he went on his own in make toilets. At the beginning I always went with him and waited outside of the door so anything taking too long meant me going in (which happened once when he was queuing to wash his hands ). I told h him from the start that if anyone was acting in a way that made him uncomfortable he should come out immediately even if it meant weeing himself. It happened once when an odd looking man asked him his name . Probably innocent but he did the right thing. Pedophiles are not just lurking in toilets they can be anywhere and you can't assure that they will never be confronted to someone exposing themselves what we can do is teach our children to be confident to remove themselves from the situation and talk to us about it.