Life begins again at 45

Sun_Addict

I'd love to go to Oxford Street to see the Christmas lights followed by afternoon tea or cocktail and nibbles at posh hotel. One for the bucket list.

beanielou

Sounds good SA.

Bubblesmum

Afternoon

Slightly later than planned, as we had a friend pop in on community Christmas day business

Firstly I will start with counting my blessings:

We were very lucky to have been taken out to tea yesterday, we were back in the hotel my OH proposed in, it was very special, and we are eating from the left over goody boxes this afternoon.

OH drove in, we saw the lights in Regent Street, Bond Street, Piccadilly and the tree in Trafalgar Square and they were lovely, in Regent Street very large Angels. It was packed so I was relieved to be in the car. we were blessed with a blue bade space in a side road next to the hotel. So no cost to us except petrol and a diversion to my Da's to pick them up.

Home to put on my onesie, and Strictly, not the same without Ed.

Today has been a quiet day, i was not on duty so I didn't get out of bed!

I have read and done a few chores sorted out reverse advent calendar for the local food bank. 5 wine box carriers with numbers on.

we never forget how blessed we are that despite our debt we are able to put food on the table.

Bubblesmum

This has not been a great week, since our marriage, my OH has been in charge of our finances and it came to a head on Tuesday, when we were looking at paying off our credit card as OH had been paid.

We have a spreadsheet, with everything listed. so we know what we are using the credit card for. Now its a credit card from our preferred department store, so we had started putting everything on it - so we collected points to get the vouchers.

I thought we had agreed that if it was things small everyday items they would be paid pff immediately, and well they have not been, it made me feel sick. We have a strict HK budget and affectively we have been spending it at twice! Which means money budgeted for capital items like new fridge freezer are not being paid off.

So having put myself on strict fasting for my pocket money spends, I now have put us on the same diet.

We have a separate account for housekeeping money and instead of putting money in at pay day, I am putting it in weekly, so I can closely monitor and pay off the mounting small debt.

On Friday we had already bought tickets to see a friend in South Pacific with the local amateur society. Instead of going out to eat before hand. I found a noodle dish in the freezer and put on rice pudding in the slow cooker for when we got home. we had a budget for an interval drink only etc.

The worry of this debt - and for me its the moral worry, my grandparents and parents bought me up with the view if you can't pay then you don't have. I would hate my father to know the state we have got ourselves into.

then again, the amount of debt is equal to about a years salary for me ( my OH is much higher) and i have not worked now for three years.

This put me both in a physical and mental ill health this week, chronic fatigue flare, very low mood, anxiety, and emotions on the surface not to mention a good dose of hormones re PMT.

I seem to be through the other side for the time being. Will try and update more often counting my blessings and reporting positive action .

beanielou

Yes, unfortunatly the reality of debt for most of us is that it has some impact on our physical & mental health.
Take care of you & try not to stress too much/
I know it is earier said than done.

Glad that you enjoyed the lovely trip to the big smoke & seeing the lights.
Yah for the goody box.

Sun_Addict

Lesson 1 - never let a man take charge of the finances. Mr SA was rubbish with them

My mum was like your dad, no debt, everything paid in cash, etc

Like Beanie says don't stress too much xx

Bubblesmum

Hello all

Well a better few days....:j

I have sat and made loads of payments to the credit card (following pay day). Made a strict budget until payday. :j

I cancelled lunch with a friend for tomorrow, I have lots to do, to catch up in life and it saves precious pennies at the mo.

just had two lovely people round to do a location reckie on our sitting room - Who Hoo - for an add, two days required next week. Not to mention there are cats involved. I am sending up so many hopes and prays that we will be chosen.

I registered along time ago and they have occasionally done site visits but never been chosen.

I am nearly up todate with Admin, Christmas Cards have been sent.

I have made the christmas Cards, all from stash have not bought a thing - cards, material, thread and sequens - I have sewn them. Plus I have sent them early so no first cast stamps required.

I still have sent 80! One day there will be a massive drop as so many of them are elderly relatives, a decade ago we sent 120!

I've registered for the post office survey scheme where you get paid in stamps but have heard nothing.

Otherwise the days seem to be revolved round getting a head with my Christmas preparations, chores and the community Christmas day.

I feel a bit 'rum" my Dad's companion asked if I was going out with the girls before Christmas and the answer is no, I have never really had a friendship crowd that has done that. I don't want to spend the money...or get that merry. On the other hand OH was out last night and going out tonight to London, a girlfriend is coming over for a cup of tea, I am hoping she is in a reasonable positive mood as there are days when I struggle with her - she views most things in a negative light. I have stepped back in recent years, however as her three children are my Godchildren (nearly all grown up) I feel I have to have some contact. (Who now whispers curled up with the third harry potter film would be rather preferable! ) He Ho I am getting to be a grumpy old woman.

Kylie is belting out "I should be so lucky" :rotfl::rotfl:

Did anyone see Gareth Malone's choir last night ... I cried my eyes out !
Especially watching the unconditional love & support of parents to the young people. I always felt that I just had not met my parents expectations in all I did, I could always do better...

Another reason why I have never really learnt to "let my hair down" as on those rare occasions I did. as a child/teenager.. I got in to trouble - my behaviour letting me down.

Right i am maudling, and I have pieces of paper to laminate!

beanielou

Great news on the payments :j
Positive vibes for you to get chosen
Take care xx

Bubblesmum

Morning all

Currently sporting injuries having tripped on the leads for Robbie the Reindeer ( one of those tall outside ones, gifted by a friend). i didn't fall but I think I did more damage stopping myself! wouldn't mind but i only went to the Oestopath on Friday :mad:

Beanielou I don't know how you survive all your falls

The evening with the girlfriend was very pleasant and she did bring me a bottle of vino, however afterwards I felt very sad, as the conversation was mostly focusing on her life, and I realised afterwards that she had really taken no interest in my life, for example we are both involved in Am Dram's and I know the next two productions she is in, but we didn't't talk about the ones I am involved in.

I do feel at the moment I am rather invisible at home.

It also didn't help that she said in a bright voice "Well you are not Bridget Jones now" I look like Bridget Jones and friends often thought my life reflected bit in the first two films. Well of course in the current one, she has had a baby, and OH decided not to have them, as we met and married in our late thirties - we did not want to have children who could become our carers, and a decade ago, my health was beginning to show signs of strain. It was the best choice, however, it is an internal wound that has never quite healed yet, I cried buckets when I saw it with another friend, who comforted and listened. Last week, when I said I cried buckets, the conversation was changed very quickly. I certainly feel at the moment I have no one to share feelings of loss in so so many ways. Its causing unhappiness at home.

Actually I am really struggling with the lack of emotional support and having to put this face on to attend extended family events. My mothers family last weekend with my humbug father in toe. Inlaws this coming weekend.

I was really looking forward to seeing my best friend and her boys one of which is my Godson, but they have cancelled I can understand it, she has become a senior manager at School (SEN Lead), and they have had a very difficult term, and she has got her holiday full of family duties. However I count her as my family and sitting down with her boys to watch a Christmas film and have cake and enjoy their youthful Christmas joy, is my highlight. I can't tell her that as she is under so much pressure.

On Friday in London, I was really struggling at the Oestopaths, and kept bursting into tears throughout the day and led to lots of crossed words both on text and when I arrived home with OH

I did listen to Jeremy Vine yesterday and Dr Sarah Jarvis about PMDD I wonder if anyone else heard it. I was just listening to myself, and so I need to investigate further.

I am really hoping I can get a grip with my health next year, so I can go back and do a few hours and end some of these isolating feelings.

Bubblesmum

On the money front.

We kept within budget last week, however there was not a lot left over to pay back debt.

We have eaten out/takeaways three times! Friday, takeaway, as neither felt like sorting anything after a massive crossed words, Sunday in the garden centre, as I crawled out of bed for church, had to go on to garden centre, and new if I had gone home would not have got out again, and blood sugar levels needed food. Then last night OH was working in London, late home my legs would not take my body weight to cook and we ended eating in GB£ !

So this week is looking worse. I am managing to keep us within budget but no surplus to pay off anything.

We had already paid for our meal on Saturday, and Dad and my cousin bought us drinks.

OH did a butchers and card run - birthdays and With Sympathy

One of my Uncles ( I had 14 ! siblings or married to parents siblings ) has died its a blessing as he has had severe dementia and has been in a home for 18 months, in his late 80's. I am very fond of his wife, I would say my dad's closest sister ( he had three) so really if possible I would go to the funeral. Its in Essex and lets just say the next 10 days are not quiet! there is a bit of me that says if it is falls on a day where I really can't go, I would secretly be relieved, in terms of managing fatigue levels.

Sunday was garden centre - we stuck to what we needed only.

Yesterday was going to be a stay at home NSD day, We were not going to have a real tree this year, and I was sad, I put up my ancient family tree that my Father can't be bothered with now. However we have had a real tree dressed in silver in our living room, since we moved here, and I missed it. So we compromised and he bought a smaller one half the price. Well when he took it out the car I could cry, it was pot bound, and crooked, fortunately I have had a spare pot and compost, so in the dark on Sunday we repotted. Then I realised having a tree a third of the size, 200 lights would be ridiculous so I ended up in the garden centre buying the cheapest I could find, a ball of wool for a present, some seeds for OH stocking and more lights for the christmas tree outside :eek: ( think I am going to take them back). I miss my big tree, we have a large room, and the small tree looks well... silly

Our Christmas is small scale and I carefully recycle things year in year out, I dread to think what it costs some families.

The Kitten is making mischief - I need to rescue