Life begins again at 45

Bubblesmum

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Hello BM . I've subscribed to your diary. Great to see Beanie on here too. We are new to the world of disability and PIP - Mr SA has lymphoma in his brain, diagnosed last year, the biopsy caused a brain bleed and the combination of both have left him disabled mentally and physically. He was a roofer and has always worked hard so our world has changed quite drastically. You sound like me always trying to keep cheerful through adversity and I will look forward to your updates. Weather is awful here today too, I am in East Midlands, typical bank holiday weather.

Thank you for your lovely words, so sorry to hear about your OH. I appreciate the journey you are all having is very hard. I'm reading Jane Lapotaire book "Time Out of Mind" at the mo, its her journey recovering from a cerebral haemorrhage. As as OT I understand the medical journey, her book re tells the social consequences. Change in personality, loss of friends and way of life. Sending you all lots of hugs x

I do try and say positive... But don't be deceived I have my :eek: moments as well... See Part Two :mad: of today's instalment in a bit.

Sun_Addict

I also lost my dear mum 14 years ago (to a brain tumour can you believe) and really miss her at times when I need her most for support like last year. I've got friends who still have both their parents (some even still got grandparents!!) - they're so lucky.

And like you I have loads of unread books to get through. I think this is a very common thing when you talk to people.

I'll be back later for your Part 2, hope it's nothing bad x

Bubblesmum

Part 2 - and I was in the shower - fuming that I hadn't been paid ....... And feeling really unloved and useless.... Have you heard the word catastoihpsing :rotfl:

So I decide to pick up the phone to HR and to be fair the young lady on the other end she was helpful and I was swinging between biting her head off "it's a fit note it changed 3 years ago" when she referred to a sick note.... The current one apparently not having reached payroll. And in tears.

I am inwardly very angry and feeling let down by my employer. They are a leading mental health charity, but have not got their head around physical stress at work, and ironically are causing mental health stress. They have now had my OH report for three weeks, and are apparently according to the absence policy looking for redeployment, but nobody has talked to me about what sort of role I could manage, ironically they use the recovery model, which advocates the client is is an expert in their condition.... So far everyone else is the expert.

I am awaiting for a stage 3 meeting.... I am convinced they are hoping I will resign first....

Apologies if this rant is repeating.... Needed to just write it down.

So I ended up in a roman emperor coffee shop eating life affirming egg sarnies and cheese crisps.... A great brunch to restore sugar levels and calmness

Then to collect my we varifocles and felt at sea !

I keep having to tell myself, I am not useless, I need to keep going to the end of the process and this is all meant to be...

Sun_Addict

You are not useless. Don't give up keep putting one foot in front of the other. Employers are great until you have a problem, then they don't want to know. Then you find out you're just a "bum on a seat". When everything was kicking off with Mr SA last year the people I work with were fantastic, the people I work for were only interested in me not taking time off. Hope things get sorted soon. Keeping this diary will be good for you so rant all you like. It helped me no end last year and still is. I got (and still get) some wonderful support. They're a lot of good people out there in MSE diary land.

suse*

Looks like you're off to a good start. I applied for pip last year, it is worth reading up on the descriptors, as that is what it is assessed against rather than by conditions. Also it can take a good 6 months to get processed though so isn't a speedy way to get money. It is worth doing a request to the doctors to get a copy of your notes for £10 before you phone up, as then you will have all the info to send with the form. If you can get the OT or anyone else to write a letter for you to it all helps.

I to have always moved jobs, and just have been lucky I ended up being able to work from home at times when I've needed, so no one can see then the days I can't get dressed etc

It might be worth doing a soa to see if there is anything you can cut back on or see what offers people know of. I too get pedicures as I can't do my feet that well. It might be worth checking the local colleges because if they do beauty courses they need people to practice on so charge a lot less. It is normally in the day though but while you're off work it might help with the pennies.

You might be able to get a freedom pass too if you're based in london or have a look at this as well. https://tfl.gov.uk/forms/12387.aspx

Bubblesmum

suse* wrote: »

Looks like you're off to a good start. I applied for pip last year, it is worth reading up on the descriptors, as that is what it is assessed against rather than by conditions. Also it can take a good 6 months to get processed though so isn't a speedy way to get money. It is worth doing a request to the doctors to get a copy of your notes for £10 before you phone up, as then you will have all the info to send with the form. If you can get the OT or anyone else to write a letter for you to it all helps.

thanks you make some good points, I am currently on lifelong DLA the PIPs predecessor, interestingly they originally said we would be reassessed this year for transfer to PIP.but because of the massive backlog timing is unclear. Yes, getting people to write letters is the way to go, I got my MP on the case for my DLA. I am also very prejudiced as an occupational Therapist myself I think our letters are worth their weight in gold, ironically I have not got one or a consultant, I was signed off at 14 :eek: 30 years ago.

I to have always moved jobs, and just have been lucky I ended up being able to work from home at times when I've needed, so no one can see then the days I can't get dressed etc . that's what I really want to do, but wanted the evidence that I ended this role due to my disability and so promised my GP and others than I will see it through to a conclusion. Nowadays they have to offer redeployment before terminating a contract on ill health.

It might be worth doing a soa to see if there is anything you can cut back on or see what offers people know of. I too get pedicures as I can't do my feet that well. It might be worth checking the local colleges because if they do beauty courses they need people to practice on so charge a lot less. It is normally in the day though but while you're off work it might help with the pennies. the college is a great idea will look into it. We have a budgeting spreadsheet, have yet to do a SOA

You might be able to get a freedom pass too if you're based in london or have a look at this as well. https://tfl.gov.uk/forms/12387.aspx

oh how I miss my freedom pass, before I married I lived in GL, I do have a Disabled Rail Card, which is fantastic, but not a bus pass as the nearest bus stops are not accessible to wheelchairs/mobility scooters. Decided not to campaign as yet, as we are able to drive locally. Save energy for other fights....

thanks for taking the time..... And I hope your sharing helps others reading my diary.....

Bubblesmum

Sun_Addict wrote: »

You are not useless. Don't give up keep putting one foot in front of the other. Employers are great until you have a problem, then they don't want to know. Then you find out you're just a "bum on a seat". When everything was kicking off with Mr SA last year the people I work with were fantastic, the people I work for were only interested in me not taking time off. Hope things get sorted soon. Keeping this diary will be good for you so rant all you like. It helped me no end last year and still is. I got (and still get) some wonderful support. They're a lot of good people out there in MSE diary land.

Thank you, have found your diary, and will eventually get to current, pets they are the most therapeutic thing in the word.....

beanielou

Sun_Addict wrote: »

You are not useless. Don't give up keep putting one foot in front of the other. Employers are great until you have a problem, then they don't want to know. Then you find out you're just a "bum on a seat". When everything was kicking off with Mr SA last year the people I work with were fantastic, the people I work for were only interested in me not taking time off. Hope things get sorted soon. Keeping this diary will be good for you so rant all you like. It helped me no end last year and still is. I got (and still get) some wonderful support. They're a lot of good people out there in MSE diary land.

So agree.
Keep plodding.
Fall down 7 times, stand up eight

beanielou

So aqgree Bubbles with so much of what you say.
We are encouraged to self manage & then when we do, in so many ways it goes against us.
Mad/bitter~yes just a tad.

mum2one

ditto with beanielou and you bubbles - it feels like helping yourself you get kicked in the teeth and told you dont need DLA.

Sounds like your going well with the stash busting and the book reading xx