OH has no clue for my birthday present!

skintchick

Wow, some people on here have very low expectations of their men!

Possession of a penis does not mean that the person is unable to apply a bit of thought to present-buying!

Having said that I tend to have an Amazon wish list for anyone who wants ideas, but my OH is excellent at gifts and will happily think of one for himself. If you know each other well enough then you can think of something they'd like or want. Any man who says otherwise is being a lazy twonk IM(strong)O.

I refuse to be simply grateful for him remembering the day!

Morglin

lulu_92 wrote: »

It's my birthday next week (virtual cake for all!)

I've been working since I was 16 so if I've wanted something I've always bought it so I'm now in the position where I have pretty much everything I need. (Nobody is buying me a house!)

OH hasn't got a clue what to get me.

I think my problem is that I want a surprise but that isn't how the world works!

Men rarely know what to buy - I just tell mine a decent perfume, gold, precious stones, or a decent handbag.

Works out ok.

Lin

lulu_92

thorsoak wrote: »

Sweetheart - he's a man - not a mind reader! TELL HIM if you want him to have the day off and spend it with you ...TELL HIM if you want to go out for a romantic dinner a deaux .....TELL HIM if you'd like flowers ......don't build yourself up for an anti-climax birthday because he doesn't realise what you really, really want!

Believe me.....it's the only way ....in the end with my OH, I would tell my best friend, she would collar him and tell him "time to get birthday pressie sorted" ...he would trot off with her, "choose" (gently supported by my BFF) and I'd be happy with what I'd got, he'd be delighted that he 'd chosen so well - and it would be a really, really happy day!

I've tried all of that! I tell him things that would make nice gifts, you name it I've said it. He just doesn't get it!

Like I've said, he's got the capability of doing something totally unexpected, albeit for a special birthday.

As amazing as he is to me I do get annoyed when I put in loads of effort for every birthday and occasion and I'm not met with the same (I know we don't give to receive, that's not the point I'm making)

Makes me think of that episode of Friends when Chandler says he's only bought Monica one present:

Rachel: what? that's it, one great present? What if Monica has bought you one great present, two medium presents and then a bunch of small presents, and you've only gotten her one great present? that's just going to make her feel bad!

thorsoak

lulu_92 wrote: »

I've tried all of that! I tell him things that would make nice gifts, you name it I've said it. He just doesn't get it!

Like I've said, he's got the capability of doing something totally unexpected, albeit for a special birthday.

As amazing as he is to me I do get annoyed when I put in loads of effort for every birthday and occasion and I'm not met with the same (I know we don't give to receive, that's not the point I'm making)

Makes me think of that episode of Friends when Chandler says he's only bought Monica one present:

Rachel: what? that's it, one great present? What if Monica has bought you one great present, two medium presents and then a bunch of small presents, and you've only gotten her one great present? that's just going to make her feel bad!

Sorry - I don't understand - why can you not just say to him "look, I pull out all the stops for your birthday - and I expect you to do the same for me!" If that's really what is important to you - then TELL THE MAN DIRECT!

Then if he doesn't reciprocate - stop pulling out the stops for him. It shouldn't be a deal breaker in my opinion - but it is obviously far more important to you than it would be for me.

lulu_92

Am I such a bad person that I would like to be treated once a year?

Georgiegirl256

lulu_92 wrote: »

Am I such a bad person that I would like to be treated once a year?

No. But as you say, you don't give to receive. I think some people expect way too much when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day etc.

Does he spoil you/buy you things throughout the year? Surely you should just be grateful for whatever he buys you?

thorsoak

lulu_92 wrote: »

Am I such a bad person that I would like to be treated once a year?

NO - BUT TELL HIM THAT YOU EXPECT HIM TO TREAT YOU !

If, even after you telling him so, he does not respond - then there is little point in continuing in a relationship where you feel that your wishes are ignored.

lulu_92

thorsoak wrote: »

NO - BUT TELL HIM THAT YOU EXPECT HIM TO TREAT YOU !

If, even after you telling him so, he does not respond - then there is little point in continuing in a relationship where you feel that your wishes are ignored.

I'm sorry, but my relationship is not doomed over this, nor will I end a relationship over it.

This has been more about trying to get him to be as thoughtful as he was last year for occasions in general. He is getting better as one year I got nothing at all!

I'm not acting like he is ruining my life over it. He's a man, they choose when to listen to things like this. I can guarantee that more often than not when I open my mouth to talk about shoes or jewellery that I think is nice he is probably daydreaming about something else!

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

No. But as you say, you don't give to receive. I think some people expect way too much when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day etc.

Does he spoil you/buy you things throughout the year? Surely you should just be grateful for whatever he buys you?

No he doesn't ever "spoil me", so to say. He will pay for dinner one week, but I'll pay the next time. Sometimes if I have no money he will offer to buy me a drink in the pub and vice versa. I don't get anything for valentine's day or anniversary and I'm okay with that (it's hard when everyone asks what he's buying me for those occasions) I've always said I don't care about valentine's or anniversaries (the latter I will care about more when I'm married) but in return I would like birthdays and christmases to be more special.

thorsoak

lulu_92 wrote: »

I'm sorry, but my relationship is not doomed over this, nor will I end a relationship over it.

This has been more about trying to get him to be as thoughtful as he was last year for occasions in general. He is getting better as one year I got nothing at all!

I'm not acting like he is ruining my life over it. He's a man, they choose when to listen to things like this. I can guarantee that more often than not when I open my mouth to talk about shoes or jewellery that I think is nice he is probably daydreaming about something else!

So in other words, you are just venting about it all:D