OH has no clue for my birthday present!

minerva_windsong

hieveryone wrote: »

Send him links to three/four things you would really like, and leave him to it.

You get what you want, he gets to feel like he 'picked' it.

Job done.

This is what my family have done for birthday/Christmas gifts for years - we write a list of 'things we would like' (though I should add it's not expected that we'll get all or even any of them!) in various price ranges, and then gift-givers asking for ideas can pick something from the list or use it as a starting point for other ideas. You get the surprise, they pick something you'll like. Win-win!


I also agree that the day trip/weekend away idea is a good one - again give him some suggestions of places you'd like to go or any activities you'd particularly like to do (nice meal in a particular restaurant, theatre, afternoon tea etc).

lulu_92

bylromarha wrote: »

Be honest with him like you have with us.

Tell him you're sad you aren't going to spend your birthday together, so the best present he can get you is his time. You'd love for him to arrange a day/weekend where you get him all to yourself. You could go out for the day, you could stay in for the day , you could spend a fortune or you could do freebies. Just tell him you want him to arrange the time and the day where you can celebrate with him.

Very open for him to arrange, very enjoyable with a massive surprise for you as you don't know what you're going to get.

I've tried and I get no response really. He knows he should have booked it off because that was what we agreed. We're going for a meal with my mum and sister in the evening then he's at work non-stop until the football season starts and then he's there every week! #footiewidow

The nights out suggestion is good but we do that anyway so it doesn't really feel as special (not in an ungrateful way) We tend to do these as regular "date nights" because we don't see each other very much.

I know I sound more spoiled as the post goes on but can't the day be about me! :rotfl:

Any

vodkashot wrote: »

I have a similar problem. I have a big birthday this year and told DH that I want something I want, not something I need. The look of horror on his face was priceless. I then explained I want something pretty, I think he knew what I meant.

Rather than doing a list for him, I take him round the shops to all the nice places (usually involving handbags or jewellery) and say, isn't this nice, what do you think of this etc and I can see him mentally compiling a a list of possibilities!

Do the same, pick a few different things on different price ranges, hopefully he'll get the hint!

Ha ha ha haaaaaaaa

First suggestion of divorce would be on the table at mentioning "let's go shopping darling" (OMG, actually I might suggest it, I love the look of horror on his face, immediately changing into look of rabbit caught in the head lights...)

And second when I found out he was not listening a word of what I said or showed him (given I actually got him there)

And then the divorce papers would be signed when I got something like a shovel, because "do you remember how angry and upset you were when you couldn't get your car out after it snowed... well that can't happen to you ever again!!"

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Over years I have learned one thing - we do loads for them all the time, they are generally the spoilt brats (but we love them and make them that way) and so asking for things on your birthday is forgiven.
Not only that, it is actually welcomed.
If he ever suggested you are a brat then you are completely permitted to ditch him immediately.

Send him a list - I send links with number of items at different price range and then he buys me what he likes the look of.

Do not rely on men for surprises... there is nothing you can do about their mind set. If you really are that bothered, start looking around for a new partner... from your own side:D

PenguinOfDeath

What I do is set up an Amazon wish list (you can add items from other sites too, apparently) and send them to him before my birthday and Christmas, I just add bits throughout the year, things I could buy myself would wouldn't really, if that makes sense... This gives him ideas without instructing lol.

The said if I had no idea on any material goods I'd rather go for a special meal, or visit somewhere I've always wanted to go.

lulu_92

Excellent suggestions

He has never said I'm a brat thank god! We are cutting it fine for online shopping. I told him yesterday that I want something pretty but I get met with nothing!

He keeps telling me to make a list of clothes but I don't want any clothes (I buy them myself) and there isn't anything in the shops that has caught my eye this week.

Any

TK Maxx and handbags?
I got the prettiest handbag last year for Christmas..
(exactly the one I sent in the link... with matching purse I didn't ask for! A surprise!)

toniq

I personally think it spoils the day if you demand etc, It's just a birthday, putting pressure on people ruins the flow of a day.

I'd rather my oh was nice to me everyday not just nice on my birthday.

Whatever he gets I appreciate regardless of if I wanted it or not.

Maybe just let him go with the flow and get you what he wants, and appreciate the thought.

74jax

toniq wrote: »

I personally think it spoils the day if you demand etc, It's just a birthday, putting pressure on people ruins the flow of a day.

I'd rather my oh was nice to me everyday not just nice on my birthday.

Whatever he gets I appreciate regardless of if I wanted it or not.

Maybe just let him go with the flow and get you what he wants, and appreciate the thought.

I understand what you say but my OH 'is' nice to me every day, but my Birthday is special. I loved being spoiled, I love spoiling him on his birthday, i love spoiling friends etc.

you can appreciate the thought of anything, and we both do, as do my firends, but that doesn't mean you can't have a special birthday with treat and surprises.

BucksLady

I don't worry about presents for my birthday.... Just hope that he 'always' remembers when it is So far....so good

Hope you have a lovely day

thorsoak

Sweetheart - he's a man - not a mind reader! TELL HIM if you want him to have the day off and spend it with you ...TELL HIM if you want to go out for a romantic dinner a deaux .....TELL HIM if you'd like flowers ......don't build yourself up for an anti-climax birthday because he doesn't realise what you really, really want!

Believe me.....it's the only way ....in the end with my OH, I would tell my best friend, she would collar him and tell him "time to get birthday pressie sorted" ...he would trot off with her, "choose" (gently supported by my BFF) and I'd be happy with what I'd got, he'd be delighted that he 'd chosen so well - and it would be a really, really happy day!