child paying keep/rent

Carmina-Piranha_2

lazer wrote: »

It makes sense for a household to do their washing together - that way it is all full loads, and only need the one clothes bin etc

Yes, that makes sense

In our house I am washing for 3 people so I already do full loads from the washing basket in the bathroom. I make the whites load full by adding the whites from the teenager basket.

There are two teenagers living in the downstairs room - both too lazy to put their washing in the bathroom basket, so they have a basket in the bedroom. If we were all sharing the same basket I probably wouldn't think of telling them to do their own. There are two of them, and always a full load.

Also, in my house the teenagers have more free time than anyone else and are there for entire full days in addition to the weekend. They can use the washing machine all day while everyone else is at work/school.

I grew up doing my own washing so it seems normal to me. I was a prickly teenager, and also sulked when I thought my mum wasn't providing a fast enough laundry service on my favourite items

Lily-Rose_3

FBaby wrote: »

Gosh, why so much bitterness? This description is quite stereotypical and I don't think representative of all young people whose parents might be able to help.

Oh for goodness sake, get off your high horse, you AND the other couple of people who think that I am SOOOO awful and SOOOO mean and SOOOO bitter. My response was in response to THIS post (indiekid; post 123.)

Indie_Kid wrote: »

This question comes up regularly on a student forum. The general opinion from those students is that they shouldn't pay - even when they're working full time and earning more than minimum wage...

I wasn't ON about students and young people in general, just the ones who think that they can live for free. Hence, my post started 'the ones who say this... ' In the post above that you quoted! ^^^

Seems you didn't acknowledge this when responding to me, but then that would not fit in with your agenda of 'scolding' me, and telling me what a horrid person I am, like a few other pious posters on here.

There are so many 'precious' posters on here who get soooooo offended and sooooo rattled when someone makes what they regard as a negative comment about something, and they have a rant about it. People are not always going to say things you like: deal with it.

AND NO: no young people in my life have done anything wrong or bad, so get your psychoanalysis hat off! I just hate to see young people taking the p1ss, and soft and gullible parents who enable them.

But God forbid I should say anything to upset the oh-so-precious on here.

I really don't care what you think or say though. This is a public forum and I am entitled to my views and opinions, just like you and everyone else is. If you don't like my views; tough.

MrsC....tobe

From someone who has had to pay various rents to parents over the years, when I was 16 (1997) I left school and got a full time job earning around £400 a month. From this I had to give mum £30 a week, anything ontop of that I kept for myself.

At 17 I moved into a rented house with a boyfriend and on about £900 a month between us we managed to pay the rent, all the associated bills, landline etc, and run a car which was a necessity due to the country location of the house. We hadn't a penny left at the end of the month but we were never in any debt. When I got a new job and my wage more than doubled we bought a house together which I ended up taking on myself. Over the course of the years I bought and sold another two houses and after a particularly bad breakup I ended up moving into my dads. Initially due to still paying the mortgage on the house I was selling I couldn't afford to pay him rent but I was lucky enough that he was in a position to 'keep' me until the house was sold and I could pay him what I owed (we did come to another agreement).

Just after that I ended up travelling to all ends of the country and I was at dads for 15 nights a months. There was myself and 2 other lodgers (one at 18 nights a month and one at 20) and we each paid £50 a week each regardless if we were there or not. This included food and a contribution to the bills and although the others didn't, I also helped around the house when shifts allowed. When dad went away for two months at a time I effectively took on the role of housekeeper and was lucky enough that my stepmum has an inability to cook for minimum people and there was a freezer of food that I could use.

I was eternally grateful for the help that was given to me so I could get back on my feet, and sometimes feel that £50 a week wasn't enough, (although considering I was there less than the rest maybe I paid over the odds) but for what we got in food and bills we should all be so grateful that we paid so little and were so well looked after.

Op, don't be shy in taking money off your offspring for their keep, they may not be happy about it just now but when older and they're having to pay their own way in life they may realise that they weren't getting such a bad deal after all. The alternative is they find somewhere else and fund everything themselves and then they will realise how hard it can be!

whodathunkit

Robisere wrote: »

Well I recently made a mistake by not thinking before I posted.

Now you have made one by not knowing all the facts. DS was desperately trying to find work and he was spending a fortune keeping an old Skoda on the road so that he could find work, which he did. The amount of work that he did for us whilst he was unemployed, included several jobs that the rest of us had no time for. You missed the mention that we were all working, in my case often 7 days a week. All of us, including his sister, missed that when he went back into employment.

I would have had to have paid a lot of money for some of the work to someone else: the house was old and needed quite a lot of work, DS made a big contribution there. And it wasn't "pocket money" - he hardly socialised whilst he was out of work, all he could spare went towards touring around, looking for work. Occasionally he would find a little farm work, the money from which he offered but I refused and preferred that he go out somewhere for once.

We were then, as now, a very close family and we would all do what we can for each other. If you reread my post, you will know why I say 'what does not kill you, makes you stronger!'

JSA isn't given so that young people can run cars.

If he was at home during the day one would expect him to muck in and do work as well as contributing financially.

Being a close family doesn't make either of the above points irrelevant.

whodathunkit

Domayne wrote: »

A comment from one the over grown children. ...
I'm 29 - 30 in october and I still live my parents. I've been paying £250 a month for the last ten years for rent - personally I don't think this is enough as we live in london which is crazy expensive and both of my parents are unemployed.
I've tried upping this to £300 a month at least but my mum won't take it so I buy her little treats or buy things for the house when I see we need it.
I love living at home because. ..well its my 'home' I've lived there forever, my parents are easy to get along with and don't give me hassle. The problem is, I'm quite ashamed to admit, I've always been spoilt. My mum does everything for me - cleans my room, does my washing and ironing, sorts out my bills and appointments (I pay for them, she just sorts them) does my shopping for me - like for birthdays and stuff she will go and buy the gift, i give her the money. my dad does all the cooking in the house and packs up my lunches for work. The problem I have is that, even when I TRY to do these things, my parents won't let me. Not in a mean way but I know they like looking after me and still feeling needed. But if I ever do move out, I don't know what I would do or what to do with an iron.
I really don't think my parents have done me any favors by not making me be responsible, I actually feel like they have held me back from being free and independent.

I think that's very honest of you.:)

Unfortunately there are lots of parents who act like that these days; it seems to me to be a form of bribery.

whodathunkit

Person_one wrote: »

But…that poster has been paying £250 a month for 10 years. They aren't exactly a shining example of how charging your children a decent amount of 'keep' is the best thing for them, are they?

But if you give it back to them and they accept it that means they've actually contributed nothing at all.

supersaver2

Lily-Rose - you sound like a very angry person, maybe get some help because your blood pressure must be through the roof with all that ranting.

I've only got 1 child and I won't start charging her as soon as she gets a job, I would hope that she would save hard to fund a deposit and get her on the housing ladder. It would be a different story if she was still with us in her 30's with no sign of her saving.

I've seen it from the other side where an adult child didn't feel able to leave home as his parents couldn't afford to run their house without his contribution and didn't want to get a lodger, he is still at home and struggling to leave due to feeling guilty.

dktreesea

supersaver2 wrote: »

I've only got 1 child and I won't start charging her as soon as she gets a job, I would hope that she would save hard to fund a deposit and get her on the housing ladder. It would be a different story if she was still with us in her 30's with no sign of her saving.

I've seen it from the other side where an adult child didn't feel able to leave home as his parents couldn't afford to run their house without his contribution and didn't want to get a lodger, he is still at home and struggling to leave due to feeling guilty.

We have more than one child, but I haven't started charging them as soon as they became employed. It's not so much that I can afford not to though. It isn't really about the money. I don't need my children to pay any part of our rent. This is our home, and though they are free to live her as adults, I expect over time they will get their own places.

knithappens

Thank you for all the posts, have not had a chance to read through all of them yet.

I will be charging £50 per week for all houshold bills and food/toiletries. I will loose more than this in benefits etc. But she will now be paying for her own mobile phone bill. Anything extra re toiletries/food etc beyond the basics I always buy. She is such a frugal body already, this week she has been using the student saving sites and found tonnes of vouchers from freebies such as bottles of coke etc. Her little luxuries she calls them ha ha

She wants me to sit down with her to help her budget her wage, so she can save some and take into accound transport etc.

I have always tried to teach financial responsibility and she is already in the habit when ever she has gotten money to save a certain amount before spending.

I am not in the financial situation at the moment to put the money I recieve for keep and save for her for a deposit for a home etc. And to be honest even if I was I would not. I never had this done for me and I really think that Children/young adults need to learn the value of money as well as the ethic of hard work to be able to afford what you want whether that is a car/house/holiday etc.

This is not to say that I don't plan on helping her out when needed. Any parent out there knows that he your child needs it you move heaven and earth for them.

Kimberley

My son has just started a full time job £16,500-£18,000 a year. According to the income tax calculator on here his take home pay would be £292 so would £50 rent be fair for me to charge him or lower? He still needs to pay his train fare and I'm not sure if he should pay for his own food or not.