first day secondary not gone well :(

Just_a_Girl_2

When I went to secondary school, it was the less popular of the two local comprehensives and out of my primary school, there were 4 people moving to my secondary school - me and 3 boys.

I was nervous about going to a school where I didn't know anyone but I made friends so quickly. I asked to sit next to a girl in my form on day one and introduced myself and we remained friends throughout the whole of my time in school, though we were never in any lessons together.

A lot of friends who were in my form were not in my lessons so that is something to bear in mind with your son - changing his form group might not even solve anything. Apart from x2 10 minute registration periods per day, we only had one lesson per week where we were taught as a form group, so friends in this class aren't so important. He may well still see lots of his friends in his daily lessons

Morglin

I started my senior school, totally alone, and knowing no one (I took the 11 plus and went to a local grammar, and my mates all went to the secondary modern).

Within a couple of days, I had made new friends, and they are still friends nearly 50 years on!

He'll soon settle down.

Lin

duchy

Does your son struggle at primary school? By the time they get to year 6 any issues tend not to be age related the way they can be entering reception.

I knew no one in my form when I went to high school and as mentioned kids mix far more widely and tend not to hang out with primary friends anyway but make new friends or the friendship groups tend to merge with other groups and dilute existing groups.

I suspect you may be transmitting your fears to your son. Lots of kids come back from taster days a bit quiet as they have just realised properly that they are moving from a small environment to a bigger one and going from top dog top class to the smallest kids in the school. Plus schools tend talk a lot about how much more is expected. New subjects, more homework. He's probably got quite a lot to think about. Your job isn't to helicopter but to be really positive and encouraging ..... Not look for problems or even make problems by tagging him as the needy kid before he's even started.

I'm guessing he's your oldest and maybe your only child as you call him your baby. It's a big change for you too as parents are quite involved on a daily basis at primary but not at secondary. It's exciting to see yours child grow up but daunting too.

xxdeebeexx

Some times being with 'old' friends holds you back from making 'new' friends.
I think he will be fine with a familiar face in the form.


dx

Carmina-Piranha_2

I asked for my son to be moved. They had put him in a class with a boy he sat with in class but didn't really socialise with, so I asked for him to go with his best friend.

Within half a term his best friend had moved on to a different friendship group. There was a big age and intellect gap. I don't really know if moving him was necessary, as the other boy he wasn't really friends with started hanging around with him at playtime anyhow, and things might have worked out there.

Could your boy get to know this other boy better over the summer? Maybe a trip to a theme park?

slightlyconfused1

It happened to my daughter this year. It has worked out extremely well. She has made lots of friends based on personality, not where they went to primary.

It will also give your son a chance to make a completely fresh start, almost reinvent himself rather than carry any labels up from primary (the youngest, the quiet one, the class clown etc)

I didnt intervene when I found out dd didn't know anyone in her registration class and I am very glad that I chose not to.

jay-jay

Thanks all for your feedback. I have spoken to his primary school teacher and she has really put my mind at rest, pretty much echoing all your thoughts. He's a sociable child and she thinks he'll do fine and it might be the making off him.
To answer the message above, yes he is my eldest child but I have two other children too. I'm not using his age to single him out for special treatment because I agree he's caught up with his friends now, but sometimes I think he's not quite as ready to go up as some off his other friends.

jay-jay

No my son has no problems at primary he loves school. Guess I'm going to have to step back and let the strings detach abit lol! I chat on the phone regularly to his class teacher as she's lovely but obviously I'm not going to have that relationship at secondary

chocdonuty

All you can do is encourage ds to make friends with new people and maybe help him by visiting the local parks and events that the kids who are going to that school will be visiting (with you at a distance of course!) if he can make a few friends in the holidays it might help settle his nerves before he goes in September if he knows there's familiar faces there.
I got split up with my best mate when I moved to secondary and kind of assumed we'd be friends forever, long story short, she moved on and made new friends, I didn't and by the time i realised everyone else was in there little cliques and to be perfectly honest my time at secondary was miserable.
I'm now in an area where schools are in the three tier system and I throughly believe that it is better for a lot of children, going from primary to secondary is a huge step, splitting into three and smaller schools that go with it seems to be a lot easier on the kids.

balletshoes

jay-jay wrote: »

No my son has no problems at primary he loves school. Guess I'm going to have to step back and let the strings detach abit lol! I chat on the phone regularly to his class teacher as she's lovely but obviously I'm not going to have that relationship at secondary

I think i can safely say you wont be chatting to your son,s secondary school teachers with any regularity ~ they just don,t have time for that. if you have major concerns there are avenues to go down though.