first day secondary not gone well :(

jay-jay

Son has come home upset because he's not going up to secondary with friends in his class.

Some of his friends are going up with three or four friends in each form. He has been placed with a boy from the other class which he never plays with.

He was so excited going off this morning for his taster day and I really feel for him. He is also the youngest in the year so feel he needs that extra support.

Will school change forms if I push for it. Rang today and was told h.on.y would call me back but didn't and that's annoyed me too.

Anyone else have a child in this situation and how did it work for you

balletshoes

yes its happened to my niece - and it happened in reverse to my daughter.

My niece was initially upset, but she stuck with it, didn't ask for a move from her form, and she settled really well within a very short time. At secondary school the kids mix classes several times a day, so your son will be with his friends in some of them.

My daughter was looking forward to going into form on her own, with no other kids from her primary school, so she could have something that was just hers, as she knew she'd still be in classes with her friends from primary school. As it turned out, her best friend from primary school wanted to move into my DD's form, and pushed to do so within the first week of secondary school in September. She got her way, and my daughter was really quite upset about it. They are all over it now though, form has changed again (the school changed all the forms mid-year) and its just normal for them to be with loads of different kids in several different classes, per day.

Regardless of which form they have ended up in, my daughter and her friends from primary (and my niece and her friends) still meet up for lunch etc almost every day, with the new friends they have also made.

jay-jay

Thank you for your positive reply it really helps. I think because the school hasn't got back to me I keep worrying about it. Don't want it to spoil his summer hols and didn't see it coming.

choccymoose

Check with the school. My son in year 7 is taught only in his form group. Changes year 8 when they are streamed on ability. Saying that he moved up with one person and all though they are still friends they both have their own circle of friends now
Choccy

krlyr

I was only put with one friend from school - who ended up making her own quite different group of friends. I made my own, new friends, many who I ended up going off to college with.
It can seem daunting at first, but he'll spend a long portion of his day with these people, he'll make new friends.

jay-jay

Not sure if they mix or not I will ask tomorrow. Expected him to come home full of excitement but he was really flat. Seems unfair when others have maybe three other friends in class. They also ask the kids who they wanted to go up with but what's the point if they don't listen!

balletshoes

i've found standards and methods of communication between the school and parents to be completely different at secondary school - the turnaround in call-backs is generally longer i've found. So don't worry if you haven't heard back from the head of year yet. If you don't get a call back from them by the end of the week, try emailing. In the meantime re-inforce all the positive things about your son being in form on his own, meeting new friends but still seeing his current ones through the day etc, he'll have different things to talk to them about, as he's in a different form etc.

If your son is fretting and worrying and really not looking forward to school because of this issue come September, reassure him that you'll contact school and ask for him to moved to a form with one of his friends. Don't promise him anything, but let him know you're on his side, if he's thought it through and its still worrying him.

michelle2008

I know it must be hard to see him upset - but lots of children go into a class without knowing any one (even a school!). This could be a wonderful experience for him.

The school may change it - but they might not. Try to give him loads of support and encouragement - don't show him how upset or worried you are.

jay-jay

He's still my baby he's not even 11 yet lol!

jay-jay

Thank you all for your helpful advice will speak to him again tomorrow after his second induction day and try to encourage him to make friends.

purpleshoes_2

You make friends when you get there. From recollection I went into my class at secondary school with only one person I had been close to at primary and some of my closest friends I made along the way went to different primary schools.

Id do nothing and wait until he gets to secondary school. Im sure he'll be fine.