Should a woman (SAHM) be doing EVERYTHING in the house if she doesn't go out to work?

lostinrates

lazer wrote: »

I think yes in general it is all the SAHM's job to keep the house tidy. make dinner etc.

90% of it falls to her - housework should not take 40 hours per week, that's 5 hours a day!o.

Depends on the house and chores some what.

A neat tidy, well maintained house is easy to keep on top of in a few hours a couple of times a week and a daily swipe of kitchen and bathroom. A falling apart wreck full of animals can take considerably longer.


For example, if the chores include walking high energy dogs that's a couple of those hours gone. Mowing a large a decent size lawn and raking up? The remaining of that twice a week in the summer.

If I had the energy I could spend forty hours cleaning and gardening here and still need more!

lostinrates

Morglin wrote: »

In my view, any woman at home, both school age kids, and being supported by her husband should be doing it all.

I cannot imagine anything more soul destroying than doing this, and not working, but I suppose the best way is to treat it as a 'job'.

It worked years ago, in the old style traditional family set up.

Lin

In many old style traditional set ups kids contributed to the chores considerably, or in better off households, there were staff beyond a weekly cleaner.

Georgiegirl256

Peter333 wrote: »

Some of my workmates think their stay at home wife should be doing absolutely everything, and some of the wives end up doing twice as many hours of work/labour a week as the men!.

Twice as much? What 70 hours worth?

We've got a traditional set up going. My husband works and I'm a housewife. With him working nearly 40 hours a week, there's no way I would expect him to have to do the daily chores, shopping etc.

However, he does do things like washing the dishes now and again, some food shopping if he's out and about, and he knows how to use a washing machine and an iron. He's actually very domesticated and he does things without being asked. We work as a partnership because that's how all good relationships should work. So if he sees I'm in a rush to go somewhere or have got behind on something because I've been away for example, he's not afraid to chip in.

But yes, if a partner is bringing home the bacon as it were and is working 30-40 hours a week, then IMO the other partner should do the majority of the jobs at home. That is their job so to speak.

Morglin

KxMx wrote: »

It's strange to me that some would advocate the woman doing everything.

In this scenario the husband gets what sounds like reasonable time off.

4 days paid work is not necessarily equal or superior to 7 days domestic work -think just how much in pay it would cost for someone to replace the work the wife currently does.

It's not just shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry; as anyone who has run a house knows there are 101 things that can crop up and need to be dealt with/sorted out on top.

Yes, but seriously, as a mum, it's not a full time job, is it?

There might be lots of little bits, but with all today's gadgets, it's not exactly hard labour.....

Especially when they reach school age.

If mum does the chores, and dad goes to work, and brings home the bacon, that's how it used to be (for those that couldn't afford staff!), and of course, the kids can pitch in.

Lin

comeandgo

I think the husband should do very little around the house, he works full time. I would imagine you would get the housework done in a few hours twice a week, do a decent clean up prior to weekend. I cannot imagine the SAHM doing anything like 35hours a week especially now the children are not babies.

BNT

Morglin wrote: »

Yes, but seriously, as a mum, it's not a full time job, is it?

There might be lots of little bits, but with all today's gadgets, it's not exactly hard labour.....

Especially when they reach school age.

If mum does the chores, and dad goes to work, and brings home the bacon, that's how it used to be (for those that couldn't afford staff!), and of course, the kids can pitch in.

Lin

I can see that the housework would add up:

Shopping a couple of hours a week (including driving, and putting everything away)
Cooking about ten hours a week.
Washing up/dishwasher/putting crockery away is about a half hour a day or three hours a week.
It looks as though there's about six hours of driving children each week.
Ironing and laundry take about three hours a week.
Even with only an hour of cleaning and vacuuming each day that's above 30 hours. Then there's the garden. With older children, I agree it's not a full time job, and each family will have different chores and time requirements, but the time would quickly add up. And the husband isn't exactly putting in the hours at work. It's not like he doesn't have the time to do anything at home.

BNT

DigForVictory wrote: »

So long as both parties are happy with their arrangement, who the devil are we to poke our noses in?

That gets my vote as the most sensible advice.

snowleopard61

Most of it, yes. When I was married and a SAHM, as far as I was concerned housekeeping was my job, and I found it rewarding. (I've never found paid work rewarding and never been able to think of a type of paid work that I would potentially find rewarding.) The only thing my (then) husband really did at home was the gardening, and that's because I hate it with an absolute passion and he found it fairly therapeutic.

But the breadwinner shouldn't be a slob. Dirty clothes should be in washbaskets, not on the floor, and dirty dishes by the sink, not lying around. I wouldn't expect the breadwinner actually to do the household chores, but normal tidiness is common courtesy.

FBaby

Surely it is not so much about whether the SAHM should do it all but about no one taking the other for granted. Roles can be defined, but it doesn't mean that there can't be some level of flexibility.

I personally think that at 10 and 15, the kids should also be contributing to some of the housework anyway, so really, it shouldn't really be an issue.

Gavin83

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

When her husband is at work: yes.

Outside of those ours: no.

The only problem with this is that it assumes the wife isn't just sitting on her bum all day doing nothing while he's out to work.

I do think that running the house is a full time job and as such the wife should be doing equal hours to the husband. If there is housework left over after that then it should be shared.

Quite how it takes 36 hours to do the housework is beyond me though. Me and my girlfriend both work so we share out household tasks but it doesn't take us anywhere near that time. We don't have children though so I can't really appreciate how much time these take up.