Should a woman (SAHM) be doing EVERYTHING in the house if she doesn't go out to work?

lostinrates

BNT wrote: »

Because people seem to treat these questions as needing a right/wrong answer.

But that presumes we all start from the same point. We don't. We as people as different. Jobs are different. The homes we choose are different, what we do in them, put in them are different, our hobbies , interests and goals are different. The way we shop and spend is different.

Our priorities are going to be as different as we are so what's right for us is going to be wrong for others in things like this. If I were living in houses I've lived in in the past and was well it would take me very much less time to keep them show home perfect, and me show wife perfect too! I've worked and kept a home, I've worked while DH was a student. Actually, thinking about it I've worked while a previous partner didn't too. Forgot that. All were different situations requiring different approaches.

skintchick

mattcanary wrote: »

Cleaning a house takes half a day once a week maybe?
Cooking doesnt take that long (maybe 20 minutes to prepare on average, 20 minutes cooking time and another 20 minutes to wash up afterwards). Unless you cook a lot of elaborate meals.


Shopping takes maybe 2 hours once a week


That's about 12 hours a week.

We've already had this discussion. See previous posts.

BNT

lostinrates wrote: »

But that presumes we all start from the same point. We don't. We as people as different. Jobs are different. The homes we choose are different, what we do in them, put in them are different, our hobbies , interests and goals are different. The way we shop and spend is different.

Our priorities are going to be as different as we are so what's right for us is going to be wrong for others in things like this. If I were living in houses I've lived in in the past and was well it would take me very much less time to keep them show home perfect, and me show wife perfect too! I've worked and kept a home, I've worked while DH was a student. Actually, thinking about it I've worked while a previous partner didn't too. Forgot that. All were different situations requiring different approaches.

I totally agree, but it does seem as though some people aren't good at dealing with people with different situations, priorities or preferences.

lostinrates

This thread made me think of some one I met through Mse but who has become a very dear real life friend. She moved from a GORGEOUS cottage off grid to a much larger house not that long a go. Her new house is beautifully appointed and she said to me 'the problem is, I don't know what to do with my self in the evening'. Her routine went from spending a long time cranking up a cantankerous generator, lighting fires, keeping on top of the house work in her beautiful place in a muddy spot , to having a utility room her dogs could dry off in, and having everything that working on flick of switch. Rooms that are easy to clean. Same incredibly dynamic person, different house made creation of time. Which she's now filled!

thatgirlsam

sedment wrote: »

In my house I do the meal planning, ordering, bathrooms,ironing and washing, floors and hoovering, gift buying, xmas,pretty much everything apart from the bins and gardening.
But my kids do their own bedrooms with help, set the dinner table, take responsibility for their own toys and putting their own ironing away in the proper cupboards and drawers as well as putting folded underwear away. I work one day a week when my husband does what I do when he is at work. One point I would like to make about sahms, and its not all about doing cleaning is the reassurance that it can give children. Today was the church service at my daughters nursery, and I was chuffed to be able to have helped but some little ones were gutted that they had no-one, not even granny or a friend to see them singing their song.
So being a sahm is far more than cleaning and meal planning, its picking them up from school when they have been puking and being available!

Do you think working Mums leave their children at school if they become ill!?

sedment

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Do you think working Mums leave their children at school if they become ill!?

Thats not what i meant at all, but its obviously much easier for a sahm to go and pick up their child if poorly from school nursery etc. Having heard stories of friends who get a call to get their child, and go and ask their boss if they can leave to pick up the sick child and get hassle. Dont think for one minute that its easy being a f/t working parent and having to fit in socials clubs swimming etc, as well as running a house. Personally, we have chosen to be a bit skint so that I can be there for our children and not have to pay childminders and babysitters so I can go to work and pay the childcare people! But each to there own I suppose.