Should a woman (SAHM) be doing EVERYTHING in the house if she doesn't go out to work?

onlyroz

catkins wrote: »

Even without pets I think hoovering only once a week would not be enough

Life's too short to spend it hoovering...

Georgiegirl256

lostinrates wrote: »

It's not just about size of house its about State of repair and stuff the vacuum is expected to cope with. ATM we have carpets from the sixties, concrete floors and some wooded flooring. So, the floor finishes all take longer with any vaccuum than new carpets or ordinary floors:(. We are a longterm renovation/ restoration project. There are exposed bricks ( dust) the concrete floors crest dust. Then you throw a few animals into the mix, workmen walking through sometimes, clients popping in for stuff, ( my clients are often grubby... No fault of there own!) .

Fwiw we have more than one vacuum, up stairs, down stairs and a couple of inefficient spares which are about to be narrowed down to one.

Oh well in that instance, I understand why it would take quite a while! Rather you than me! I'm sure it'll be worth it when it's finished though.

lostinrates

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Oh well in that instance, I understand why it would take quite a while! Rather you than me! I'm sure it'll be worth it when it's finished though.

Its why I made the point throu out the thread it depends on the house and the chores.

If you are two people working full time with children and pets something like this demands outside help.

When finished tbh, it would still benefit from outside help.

As it is.....we're slumming it. But I could work here 40 hours plus a week and do more.

Edit: My husband works VERY long hours. I do consider the housework 'my remit' but there are things I cannot do and feel I let the side down about them. He never complains. He usually spends all weekend working flat out, mostly on house/ garden/ land sometimes for his job too.

jaylee3

I could never just vacuum our house once a week! Even before we had pets, I vacuumed every second or third day, now it's every second day.

Also, why are people getting so hung-up on the word 'helping?' It's only an expression. Some peope just have to pick fault with anything and everything!

FWIW, I would say that hubby should help say about a quarter of the time. Gives a hand to SAHM and gives a good impression to the kids.

I must say though, I agree with what one poster said, that if someone thinks they need 36 hours a week to do everything in the household, how do they think people cope if both partners go out to work?

Interesting point.

Mojisola

jaylee3 wrote: »

Also, why are people getting so hung-up on the word 'helping?' It's only an expression.

Because words are very powerful.

If I "help" my OH with something, it's because it's his job to do it and I am being nice by helping but it's really his responsibility.

There are still too many men in relationships who think that all housework and childrearing is women's work and that it's okay for them to just "help" occasionally.

good_advice

I now stay at home full time,made redundant. Don't go out a lot and have no car of my own. Little money.
It is my choice. My way of living.I have a simple life and spend very little.

I do the daily cooking, all washing up.
Washing machine and peg out.
House cleaning and tidying up.
Answer the door to post and parcel people.

Oh does the gardening and will sometimes empty the bins when asked.
We have flowers and veg. in the garden.

The only problem is the .....dog. Cute as it is.
Realy cuts back on whare you can go when out and chews up the house. Dog hair.
Restricks holidays as we have to chose within our means that is dog friendly - so the lowest grade caravan.

Just had a big argument with OH = we were both going visiting - until he had to phone them. As soon as he said the dog was comming I was not wanted as someone has to stay at home and look after the thing. It is never left on its own for long. Will cause a chewed up mess.

I told family i did now want another dog when the first one died.
It can be company and also stops you going places or having company as not every visitor will tolarate a dog .
Dog sh.. on the grass.

I do have a lot of time for crafting. Knitting or sewing. Mostly recycling what I have or been given.
Taking photo's on walks or flowers in the garden. UP load to desk top computer.

I like using the internet and will do many surveys. Often to get Amazon vouchers. It helps the house keeping. Just saving to buy some replacement towels for the house.

I think when every one goes out to school and work the living changes as time is less.
Families that have everyone out all day will use money to get things done quicker.
Pay for help - cleanig/gardening/ironing.
Eat more ready meals/ order meals delivered to the door.Dine out.
Aford holidays abroad.
Buy more face/body products and have named brand clothes.
I know - that was me!

All changed now.
I am the biggest penny pincher I know.

duchy

catkins wrote: »

Seriously? So even at weekends you would cook, clean, sort out any food shopping, look after the children etc? That hardly seems fair.

Why on earth would any cleaning or food shopping need to be done at weekends if someone has had all week to do it ?
Even food prep for the weekend could be done in advance.

Where did looking after children come from -we were talking housework- children are looked after by whichever parent/s are present surely. They aren't a housework in my book.

shoopi

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/05/dads-who-do-dishes-raise-ambitious-daughters.html

onlyroz

duchy wrote: »

Why on earth would any cleaning or food shopping need to be done at weekends if someone has had all week to do it ?

Because apparently we need to be hoovering, scrubbing and mopping every single day of the week, otherwise our houses will become dirty flea-pits.

georgie262

Me and my husband both work full-time. We have a 2 year old and I don't drive. I finish work at 4pm (8-4) walk to nursery collect DS (4:30pm) walk home arrive (5:15). Give DS his tea, bath him, put him to bed. DH gets in usually around 7:30 unless he's gone the gym and then its quite a bit later.
I am always tired and my house was starting to look more than a little bit of a mess.
I called my dad and had a bit of a mini-meltdown feeling very sorry for myself. It went somewhere along the lines of.. "Dad I can't cope the house is a mess, I'm always tired, there's not enough time to do anything. Do you think I should get a cleaner?" he said, "Love, get a cleaner if you want, you'll be putting someone in more employment, but I want to hear less of this self indulgent 'i can't cope' nonsense. Your nan raised 7 kids on her own without a washing machine and she coped now man up"
Haha - there's no one like your parents to put you back in your place. Anyway, I'm going to learn how to drive...