Should a woman (SAHM) be doing EVERYTHING in the house if she doesn't go out to work?

BNT

If he is only working four days a week, doesn't that make him a stay at home father for a large chunk of time? I might take a different view if he were working all the time, but his hours seem ideally suited to being involved at home.

Mojisola

duchy wrote: »

If this was a woman working full time and the husband at home and the husband posted saying "my wife expects me to do all the housework" I think the response would be- "Get on with it "

Not from me.

duchy

BNT wrote: »

If he is only working four days a week, doesn't that make him a stay at home father for a large chunk of time? I might take a different view if he were working all the time, but his hours seem ideally suited to being involved at home.

Squeezing five days worth of work into four days is no picnic. I used to do it and it got a bit much -I've now reduced it to 33 hours but a run of 9 hour shifts was pretty exhausting by the time you add on any travelling time and depending what sort of shifts they are- 4 on 4 off tend to be moving early/late or nights rather than "office hours".

duchy

Mojisola wrote: »

Not from me.

But it's not all about you !

Pete111

I think the SAHM should do the lions share - certainly on days he works. on days he is at home the husband should help out.... to the exact* level at which his wife does not feel the need to nag him for laziness.


*this level being entirely variable, mood dependant & generally more elusive than the G spot.

evenasus

I 'did everything' when we both worked full time!
I still do everything now that we are both retired.

My husband hasn't a clue how to set the washing machine or even the cooker.
He never cooks, wouldn't have a clue how to.

I suppose it's my own fault, although for my generation, it was accepted as the norm for women to do all the housework.

My two sons (now in their 40's) never lifted a finger when they lived at home.
They soon learned how to cook etc when they got married. Their wives soon saw to that.

BNT

duchy wrote: »

Squeezing five days worth of work into four days is no picnic. I used to do it and it got a bit much -I've now reduced it to 33 hours but a run of 9 hour shifts was pretty exhausting by the time you add on any travelling time and depending what sort of shifts they are- 4 on 4 off tend to be moving early/late or nights rather than "office hours".

But he's doing 36 hours a week. Unless he's French that doesn't sound like 'squeezing' five days' work into four. That sounds like doing four days' work.

duchy

Yes - you were responsible for enabling them.
I can see how it happens -but there is absolutely no excuse not to know how to work a washing machine or turn on a dishwasher.

evenasus wrote: »

I 'did everything' when we both worked full time!
I still do everything now that we are both retired.

My husband hasn't a clue how to set the washing machine or even the cooker.
He never cooks, wouldn't have a clue how to.

I suppose it's my own fault, although for my generation, it was accepted as the norm for women to do all the housework.

My two sons (now in their 40's) never lifted a finger when they lived at home.
They soon learned how to cook etc when they got married. Their wives soon saw to that.

Mojisola

duchy wrote: »

If this was a woman working full time and the husband at home and the husband posted saying "my wife expects me to do all the housework" I think the response would be- "Get on with it "

duchy wrote: »

But it's not all about you !

You said our response would be "Get on with it".

I said that wouldn't be my response.

evenasus

duchy wrote: »

but there is absolutely no excuse not to know how to work a washing machine or turn on a dishwasher.

I know that, tell that to my husband.

He just sees a load of buttons.