Do blokes care how much a woman earns?

Sarah-Jean

Uxb wrote: »

Unfortunately women don't seem to work this way when it is the other way round.
Describe yourself as an engineer (generally despised in the UK, lauded in Germany) and just watch the interest fade from their eyes as they try and find someone nearby to talk to who is more interesting - ie earns more and has prospects for earning even more.

Women are only interested in one thing - access to resources - and these days that is simply money - though they usually dress it up as wanting a man with "prospects" or "ambition" or some other metaphor.

You're obviously talking too or finding the wrong type of women then. My Hubby is an Electronics Engineer. Most of my friends are geeks, engineers, chemists etc. of one type or another. Engineers are fascinating to talk too and in my experience often have a wide range of interests outside of the stereotypical "geek stuff".

Kind of reminds me of someone I used to know who claimed the only interesting women were ones with bleached blonde hair and big boobs and then did nothing but complain that they're shallow.

Surround yourself with nice people and they won't lose interest or be rude or money-grabbing.

Person_one

Sarah-Jean wrote: »

You're obviously talking too or finding the wrong type of women then.

I wouldn't assume the responsibility for his lack of success is with them tbh.

Anybody who talks about all women in such a derogatory manner and doesn't seem to realise that they are individuals, is probably not going to get along brilliantly with them in social situations!

ManofLeisure_2

Essentially, for the majority of chaps, money probably doesn't come in to the equation. More likely to be a matter of 'chemistry' .

moneyistooshorttomention

This is where I recall an episode from some years back (ie where I was still "dating" and hoping to meet The One) and I had a little venture into a dating agency.

Now bear in mind I am some way into middle age type generation and am a woman. Therefore I was specifying to the "boss" of the dating agency concerned that I was, amongst other things, looking to find a man who was an "equal" to me and went back to her at one point querying why she didn't seem to be matching me up with any men with professional type jobs. Her response was that the men concerned would be after women with professional type jobs as well. I pointed out that I was in a generation where it was about 50/50 whether women had a level of job/career that matched them personally (ie because a noticeable number of my generation - including me personally - had been brought up to fulfil a fairly traditional "womans role" and that I couldn't therefore be compared with the generation down from myself (ie where women were more likely to have a job/career "at their level" iyswim).

I was told that was irrelevant, in her professional opinion, and men would disregard the generation I was and expect a woman in very equivalent job/career regardless (ie basically similar income levels) and that the only way round that was if I were a "raving beauty" of a woman (ie rather than an attractive woman) and, at that point, I could trade off fantastic looks for fantastic money:(.

I wasn't after "fantastic" money, just a reasonably intelligent/capable sort of man, but was told that men like that wouldn't consider a woman in a "traditionally female" type job on "traditionally female" type income, even in my generation. I wasn't about to accept that as my own mother (albeit a generation up from my own) had done so, so I didn't see why I shouldn't...

I still wonder to this day if she was right about that or no...but that was one of the reasons I even gave up trying any more at around that point...:(

Hence, I do rather tend to think that many men will take into account what sort of income a woman earns and be looking for one on equivalent. In some ways I cant blame them...as I am aware that many men in my generation and the next one down are all too well aware that a woman who earns less than them might be more likely to try and "take them for what she can get" financially should they end up hitched and then divorced and there is no way that (more fairminded) women can manage to pledge that they will only take back what they have put in if it does come to marriage, followed by divorce. So I fully understand this way of thinking...but it doesn't help those of us who don't think like that...:(

VestanPance

I'd say those excuses offered up by the dating agency are complete and utter !!!!!!!! and it's more likely they just didn't have any men that fitted your criteria.

I've never know a guy to care what a woman earns. It's truthful that us men will put down looks as important, but so will sense of humour and for some intelligence. Now while many intelligent people will have good careers and thus be earning decent money there are also many who choose work that pays poorly out of a passion for it, or for other reasons.

Also to the bloke that claims women look down their noses at engineers! On what planet? For a start many engineering professions are extremely well paid and a good number of them would easily out earn most professional office staff. If you're screwing up on attracting women it's not because you're an engineer.

Person_one

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

querying why she didn't seem to be matching me up with any men with professional type jobs.

was told that men like that wouldn't consider a woman in a "traditionally female" type job on "traditionally female" type income, even in my generation. I wasn't about to accept that

Sorry to say, but this seems like a double standard. You wanted to meet a man with a 'professional' job and wouldn't accept what you considered to be 'less', however you're annoyed that the men might have a similar stipulation and prefer a woman in a professional job.

If you expect them to drop their standards as it were to give you a chance, why could you not do the same and consider people with trades or unskilled jobs?

meritaten

its impossible to say without knowing a thousand things about 'him', 'you' and your respective upbringings.
I usually worked temp part time jobs and my pay went for the 'little luxuries'. OH was happy to be the main 'breadwinner'. then I landed a sweet job which actually paid me twice what OH earned an hour - was he happy? no, he was NOT! he was honest enough to say that he felt it 'threatened him'. lucky for him it was only temp - because his attitude to me and the job stank. if it had been permanent I doubt our marriage would have survived (and we had been together about 25 years then). and previously I would have thought he would have been ecstatic that I was earning so much. its a serious consideration - but I wouldn't let it put me off getting to KNOW someone - you will soon suss out how they feel about it if you ask the right questions.

egoode

Men don't care if you earn less than them but I know quite a few who don't like it when their girlfriend or wife earns more than them. I know it's not all but there's quite a large number that do care. Especially if it's double or triple their salary.

Alikay

I had a boyfriend nearly 30 years ago who earned considerably more than me, and it did cause problems, mainly because he wanted to have lots of holidays and weekends away and I was just about managing to pay my mortgage and eat. We lived 200 miles apart and tried to get together 2 or 3 times a month, taking it in turns to visit each other. Even the petrol to go and see him, cost of long-distance phone calls and extra food when he came to see me added up to more than I could afford. It wasn't the main reason we split, but it was definitely a niggle.

Quiet_Spark

It personally makes no odds to me what a woman earns, if it did then my current partner (of 22 years) wouldn't have got a second glance as she just about brought home £100 a week when we first met.
She stopped work when she became pregnant with our first born and hasn't worked since. Not because she's lazy, but because she doesn't have to as I'm fortunate enough to make enough for the both of us.

On the flip side, a friend of ours had a partner that earned much more than him when they got together so he became the house husband while she went to work 5 days a week.

It really all depends on the mindset of the people involved as to whether earnings will be a problem or not.