Do blokes care how much a woman earns?

gwen80

CRANKY40 wrote: »

It's not how much you earn, it's what you do with it. My late husband earned twice my salary when we first started dating seriously. He had a few teething problems in his job, and even on my "low compared to his" wage I was able to tell him to pack his job in and look for something else if he really hated it. I had my own (mortgaged) flat which I was paying for easily out of my money and one more person doesn't cost that much extra to keep.

He didn't give up his job, he stuck at it, but with the knowledge that he could resign if he needed to. By the time he died he was earning 4 times my salary but still thought I was the best person that walked the planet due to my support for him (and the fact that I loved him more than anyone else did as he said). He wasn't bothered that I earned less than him, it was the way that I loved and supported him that counted.

Anyone who thinks your earnings are important is not worth having (and that should not be confused with someone who wants you to reach your full potential for your sake, which doesn't always involve being highly paid).

In my more positive moments, those sort of things cross my mind, i.e. it's how you care for someone that matters, not what you do for a living, but he's good looking, charming, popular, high flying and earns probably twice what I do which is all quite intimidating. I'm scared to go for it in case I get hurt and probably get proven right - he can do better and I'll be a huge disappointment when he discovers the 'real' me' - I can 'act' confident when needed. Then at other times I think what if it were really good? And if I don't try I'll never know.

G

Any

gwen80 wrote: »

Because my job is not 'high flying', it is a professional role, but not at anywhere his level. Plus I can sometimes say the wrong thing..

Sorry, but you seem to think that at work functions anyone is actually really listening (and remembering) what anyone else said... I've been to many and this really is NOT the case.
And you are a professional. You are just another human being, a spouse, and everyone is going to get you for how friendly, pleasant and outgoing you are, not WHAT you do for living.
I have no idea what half the people in my husbands work people/spouses do.
But some, and some I think are higher up, are !!!!!!, and no matter how much they earn is going to change that opinion. Only their actions.

You are thinking about this far too much.

Get a date girl!!!

gwen80

duchy wrote: »

Why ?
How are you embarrassing ?
Do you get drunk and flash your knickers (or lack of them) at social events on a regular basis or is this just some kind of reverse snobbery on your part about the sort of work events he attends?

If he likes you and you are a decent person then why would you deliberately embarrass him at work events ? Most people with half a brain can manage to behave themselves in public after all.

Nope, I don't do any of that. Reverse snobbery?

I wouldn't 'deliberately' embarrass him, I just seem to misjudge situations sometimes and say the wrong thing - I'm working on it.

duchy

I think you need to stop making daft excuses -and stop looking for reasons to salve your feelings.

If you like each other - go on a date. If you don't you'll always wonder what might have happened if you didn't.
It might work out or it might not - but if you don't take that first step- you'll never know.

Either he's worth talking the risk for.......or he isn't. Your decision.

gwen80 wrote: »

In my more positive moments, those sort of things cross my mind, i.e. it's how you care for someone that matters, not what you do for a living, but he's good looking, charming, popular, high flying and earns probably twice what I do which is all quite intimidating. I'm scared to go for it in case I get hurt and probably get proven right - he can do better and I'll be a huge disappointment when he discovers the 'real' me' - I can 'act' confident when needed. Then at other times I think what if it were really good? And if I don't try I'll never know.

G

Tropez

Personally, I couldn't give a monkeys.

My wife earned a lot less than me when we met and it never bothered me.

She earns about the same now and it still doesn't matter.

That said we manage our finances separately which may be why but certainly in the early days of a (potential) relationship money wouldn't matter a jot.

Any

gwen80 wrote: »

Nope, I don't do any of that. Reverse snobbery?

I wouldn't 'deliberately' embarrass him, I just seem to misjudge situations sometimes and say the wrong thing - I'm working on it.

Don't we all?????
Seriously, stop making silly excuses and see where it goes!!
Good luck

Slinky

You're thinking about it too much. Stop worrying about making an !!!! of yourself at the Christmas party and give yourself the chance to find out whether you like each other.

duchy

My ex was a high flyer - Christmas parties were full of "embarrassing " behaviour but it wasn't the partners of the employees doing it.

Annisele

gwen80 wrote: »

Plus I can sometimes say the wrong thing..

Show me a person who's never said the wrong thing, and I'll show you a person who can't speak...

gwen80

Annisele wrote: »

Show me a person who's never said the wrong thing, and I'll show you a person who can't speak...

I seem to do it quite a bit, hopefully I'm learning and getting better at judging situation - as I said I'm working on it.