Do blokes care how much a woman earns?

Gra76

I'm not bothered how much my missus earns as long as we can pay the bills and have a bit left over each month.

That's not to say I'll not be glad when she goes back full time once all the kids are in school though as she's been part-time for nearly 10 years now and those 10 years have been quite tight financially at times!

venetianlagoon

Nope, not in a decent relationship, my ex really didn't care how much I earned. He did care about the long hours and separations it took to earn it tho.

lika_86

gwen80 wrote: »

In my more positive moments, those sort of things cross my mind, i.e. it's how you care for someone that matters, not what you do for a living, but he's good looking, charming, popular, high flying and earns probably twice what I do which is all quite intimidating. I'm scared to go for it in case I get hurt and probably get proven right - he can do better and I'll be a huge disappointment when he discovers the 'real' me' - I can 'act' confident when needed. Then at other times I think what if it were really good? And if I don't try I'll never know.

G

It sounds to me like it's more than money that's the issue and more a general feeling of insecurity.

In my experience, men tend to be more put off by women earning more than them, not less. Although in my relationship we've done both, my boyfriend was earning over double what I was when I met him (although we both knew that my position was very much a short-term thing), now I've qualified in my profession I earn more than him. We joke that he was just playing the long game and that although due to our age differences most people would think I was the golddigger, it's actually him. In the end if he's a decent guy then money won't matter.

Jitterbug123

I don't think it matters that much.

My boyfriend earns almost twice as much as I do. But he works in the private sector in IT. I work in Education and get more holiday. Both our jobs are hard work, his sector is just better paid.

cc_user

I think this issue lies with the individual person, but here is my story.

I used to be quite the arragont, egotistical so-and-so; I had (and still have) a successful international career, a top-notch private education, travelled the world, a graduate from one of the UK's elite Universities. I always told myself that my partner would be equally blessed and qualified with similar credentials, the same income and earning potential...

...Then I found love ...I ended up falling for a local (UK) lady. She had an entry-level job, earning around a quater of my income. It was amazing how quickly I forgot about the vane, judgmental and superficial stuff. None of that seemed to matter. Interestingly, she has since left that job and returned to education (full time) for a massive career change (childhood ambition) whilst I am standing by and supporting her.

In the end I realised it wasnt about how much she earned. I think most men are more interested in ambition, drive, motivation in life. Nobody finds bone-idleness and coasting through life particularly attractive. It isnt about your attainment in the current moment, but where your sights/goals are set (it doesnt matter whether you get there or not, just that you want to). Pursuit of self-improvement and doing something with your life is what is attractive.

OP: My opinion is you should'nt worry about your job/salary. If its meant to be, its meant to be. If they focus on what you earn, consider it a lucky escape. There will be better-looking, better earning and nicer men to meet out there.

gwen80

lika_86 wrote: »

It sounds to me like it's more than money that's the issue and more a general feeling of insecurity.

You might have a point here. I guess I consider myself a 'failure' in a lot of ways and here's a successful, good looking, charming fella who's possibly interested.

Timeflies

A person is not their job, and not their salary!

Both you and this chap are likely to have different jobs and different earnings levels over your lifetimes.

Choose him for his personality, and hopefully he'll do the same for you!

spiritsfree

No !!! ...if they are a genuine MAN, and they enjoy what they have !!

MoradoJess

gwen80 wrote: »

I'm pretty certain he likes me too. He knows what I do for a living and can probably figure out roughly how much I earn. His job and his earnings are pretty intimidating to me though. Can't help thinking that there's got to be a nice high flying woman out there for him. Plus if there were any work functions I may embarrass him.

Having said that my Dad is with a woman that earns significantly less than him.

G

A high flying women who might have ridiculous long hours? Possibly ones that clash with his own hours so they never see each other? The possibility of arguments or long distance in the future if either wants to move for a promotion?

Everything has negatives if you think about it long enough. The only persons opinion on this that is relevant is his and you won't know how he feels til you ask him out. No point wasting time second guessing yourself

Uxb

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

In answer to your question....Only if he's shallow. You judge a person on their merits, their character, wether you gel or not, and not the size of their pay check.

Unfortunately women don't seem to work this way when it is the other way round.
Describe yourself as an engineer (generally despised in the UK, lauded in Germany) and just watch the interest fade from their eyes as they try and find someone nearby to talk to who is more interesting - ie earns more and has prospects for earning even more.
Had it done many times to me over many years - it is so blatant and so obvious.

These days I generally tell some rubbish about I've just been made redundant so I'm 'idle' and watch them scatter...

Women are only interested in one thing - access to resources - and these days that is simply money - though they usually dress it up as wanting a man with "prospects" or "ambition" or some other metaphor.