Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

silvercar

GDB2222 wrote: »

Who wanted a laptop? £152 with VIP code.

http://www.dell.com/uk/p/inspiron-15-3531-laptop/pd?oc=cn53105&model_id=inspiron-15-3531-laptop

I used it whilst away on holiday. It did everything I threw at it. (Browsing, Word, Excel, Outlook.)

Just about to replace DS2's inspiron 15, like that price but was thinking of getting him a faster processor.
http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Search/searchTerm/248%252F8307.htm

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

Well, getting rid of furries is more important.

If I'm first job of the day, might still be "good to go". No idea how long they take.... 5 minutes or 30. If she's been/gone by 9:10, who knows.

GDB2222

lostinrates wrote: »

No, its not ok.


In the same way as holocaust denial is not ok and doesn't mean anti semitism doesn't exist, and many other such examples.

This kind of thing happens to women a lot, often in unavoidable situations, like in the street, where you cannot do anything about it, or in the workplace where you might feel unable to do anything about it. Here nikkster really is in a position to enable her self, and possibly/probably other women this person passes in his existence.

It is odd how the men and the women here seem to regard this entirely differently. On the whole, the men seem far less incensed by this idiot's behaviour. I'm still not sure that I understand the reason for this difference?

lostinrates

GDB2222 wrote: »

It is odd how the men and the women here seem to regard this entirely differently. On the whole, the men seem far less incensed by this idiot's behaviour. I'm still not sure that I understand the reason for this difference?

Maybe you've had fewer bruises on the tube? Or you lack the I tincture hackle raising reaction to the jeering that leering that often is precursor or smaller expression of how these men want to or do treat women when they have the opportunity.

GDb you, and I think most of the nice men are gentle men. You cannot imagine probably how other men might treat women in some circumstances because your make up just is not that way.

Its from the simplest things, body language, pheromones, facial expression, to quite big ones.....sexual behaviour, even during the same acts or 'behaviours' that there is a clear difference between men who like women and treat them as people and men who treat us as some thing different ( and I think vice versa probably, but men can often do women a lot of physical harm in vulnerable positions)

The instinctive hackle rising in the supermarket is the tip of the iceberg, buts its something she, we, women, can do something g about. In my opinion tackling him is not appropriate she already feels uncomfortable.

She could tell the manager just what has been said here then just she or he subtly observe themselves perhaps?

LydiaJ

GDB2222 wrote: »

I operate on the basis that Lydia is always right.

You must be mad. That's dangerous!

GDB2222 wrote: »

It is odd how the men and the women here seem to regard this entirely differently. On the whole, the men seem far less incensed by this idiot's behaviour. I'm still not sure that I understand the reason for this difference?

The idiot's behaviour is bullying. A woman being bullied by a man frequently feels threatened in an extra way that a man being similarly bullied usually doesn't.

Also, there are on this planet many wonderful men (the Nice Men included, natch) who regard women as people deserving the same respect that men do. However, there are a significant minority of men who are not like that - the sort of men who think it's OK to be obnoxiously overfamiliar with women they don't know or barely know, or to be offensively sexist and complain if women don't like it that they are unreasonably making a fuss about nothing - in essence, men who regard women basically as things or perhaps as lesser beings rather than equals. This is epitomised by the sort of man who doesn't listen to any of the content of what a woman is objecting to, and merely looks at her indulgently and says "you look so cute when you're angry". Men who aren't like this are often unaware of quite how prevalent these men are, but women know.

[X-posted with lir]

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

you look so cute when you're angry". Men who aren't like this are often unaware of quite how prevalent these men are, but women know.

[X-posted with lir]

DH does that, but done of the rest. :rotfl:

lostinrates

I'm wondering how much in the minority it is. I move in such as all circle now but I've seen a fair bit if it, as well as what I think of as 'normal' but maybe should rephrase to something like 'equal'. I also see a lot of women who accept it as ' normal' which would suggest its not normal in their outlook to be equal. I don't have an answer for that, or anything, but......I just wonder.

silvercar

GDB2222 wrote: »

It is odd how the men and the women here seem to regard this entirely differently. On the whole, the men seem far less incensed by this idiot's behaviour. I'm still not sure that I understand the reason for this difference?

Men see him as a prat. Full stop.

Women see him as a prat, but worry that the next stage will be him following her out of the store. He already feels comfortable making a joke at her expense in ear shot, which is not acceptable behaviour. He does it because he can; so the thought, on both sides, will be what else can he do.

GDB2222

lostinrates wrote: »

DH does that, but done of the rest. :rotfl:

I tell DW that she is particularly beautiful when she is windswept. She does not believe me, but it's true in my view at any rate.

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

DH does that, but done of the rest. :rotfl:

:rotfl:
Harmless, maybe even endearing, if done in conjunction with taking seriously what you say when you're angry, which I am 100% confident he does.

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm wondering how much in the minority it is. I move in such as all circle now but I've seen a fair bit if it, as well as what I think of as 'normal' but maybe should rephrase to something like 'equal'. I also see a lot of women who accept it as ' normal' which would suggest its not normal in their outlook to be equal. I don't have an answer for that, or anything, but......I just wonder.

It's certainly a minority in my life. I have never been treated that way by anyone in my family, any of my friends, anyone at the churches I've belonged to, or any teachers etc that I've worked with. For me, that kind of behaviour belongs to strangers in pubs, 2nd hand car salesmen, and the like. But then I rather suspect that my lifestyle brings me into contact mainly with safer more respectful men than some other lifestyles might.