Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

Nikkster

He's just gorgeous NDG. A very handsome little man

lostinrates

Kermit already shows the curiosity and interest of his older brother.

I think you are going to be kept on your toes for a long time! What a wonderful challenge to have NDG!

He certainly doesn't look skinny, just lovely.

Are baby weights etc done on centiles? On current averages? Aren't babies getting bigger because of percentage of overweight mothers?

LydiaJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

The health visitor thinks he should have gained more, looking at her charts. I think her charts need ignoring, he's clearly not too thin! He's a little chunk monster:

I agree. Ignore the chart. HVs get all worked up about weight charts, but it's not scientifically justifiable.

For one thing, breastfed babies have a lot more variability in how much they grow and when, but it all evens out by the end of the first year. The charts are (or certainly were when mine were babies) compiled from stats of bottle-fed babies.

But most importantly, HVs should be made aware of why those charts were instigated in the first place. Failure to put on weight can be an early sign of all manner of problems. So, decades ago, somebody decided it would be a good idea to monitor babies' weight, so that the ones who weren't gaining much could be investigated for health problems that might not yet be apparent. This idea has completely been completely lost and replaced with an obsession on the part of HVs about getting babies to gain weight to conform to the chart as an end in itself. I have a friend whose HV gave her endless grief about her babies being on about the 2nd centile for weight and length - but the parents are both on about the 2nd centile for adult height, and while the dad has a fairly typical BMI, the mum has a particularly slight frame, even for her height, and is healthy with it. What did the HV expect the babies to be like, with genes like those???

In fact, an intelligent and experienced mother like you will be aware of the presence or absence of signs of health problems regardless of the weight charts. Kermie is gaining weight in his own time and behaving in a way that gives every reason to suppose that he's healthy. Don't let the HV bully you into worrying about the chart.

michaels

Not raining here yet but as it is the street party today I am sure we can expect more than 1 downpour. In a bit we are off for 'show day' at the DDs stage school. Last night was also not that wet and not very thunderful. DW and the DKs went to the next sale at 4 this morning, I have just not asked what they spent, best around but tiredness means DW is grouchy and DDs are just sleepy. We have also done optician and haircut for me this morning and alter server training for DD2. The weekend then just gets more busy so I had better go and get on with the chores.

Might delete. I pay or contest parking tickets for DW and do all the money - I don;t mind except that she refuses to take any interest and uses that as a justification for not worrying about how much she spends leaving me with all the worry plus being the mean one who says no to the kids. And yes I do let her know it is a problem for me.

michaels

DS is 95-8th percentile for height and 99th for weight, don't know where he gets it from although it is useful 'ammunition' to help persuade DW that even though he is a 'strapping growing lad' that we don't have to continually keep trying to feed him as much as he can eat.

Generali

michaels wrote: »

Not raining here yet but as it is the street party today I am sure we can expect more than 1 downpour. In a bit we are off for 'show day' at the DDs stage school. Last night was also not that wet and not very thunderful. DW and the DKs went to the next sale at 4 this morning, I have just not asked what they spent, best around but tiredness means DW is grouchy and DDs are just sleepy. We have also done optician and haircut for me this morning and alter server training for DD2. The weekend then just gets more busy so I had better go and get on with the chores.

Might delete. I pay or contest parking tickets for DD and do all the money - I don;t mind except that she refuses to take any interest and uses that as a justification for not worrying about how much she spends leaving me with all the worry plus being the mean one who says no to the kids. And yes I do let her know it is a problem for me.

If you earn and worry about the money then you should give out housekeeping.

If it's going to be old fashioned then do it properly.

LydiaJ

Not quoting. Not specifying to whom this is a reply...

Sounds as if the idea is that she gets to spend whatever she feels like without considerations of cost crossing her mind, and he is expected to make sure that somehow he earns enough to cover her spending, regardless of the impact on his quality of life?

Doesn't sound fair to me.

Rain has been v heavy but just eased off. Thunder just started up again, though - the one a couple of minutes ago was enough to make me jump.

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

If you earn and worry about the money then you should give out housekeeping.

If it's going to be old fashioned then do it properly.

This might sound silly, but it cannot imagine spending blithely what DH earns. We have a rough budget for each of us ( determined not on equality but on spending needs...e.g. I don't need train tickets, he doesn't need to pay for monthly meds for big dog and mauve squeaker) which we don't cross check. Other expenditure over a certain price or amount each month I would say ' Maestro, I would like to have x, or y and z, is it possible? Would it be a better time next month? ' and we have a look at it, or similarly he'll phone and say, are we expecting any big expenditures that you know of yet this month because I'd kind of like to start budget for this, what do you think? And we have a look at it.

Our budgets for what we'll discuss out side our accepted expenditure is quite low. I'll call/email through after a vet bill so he knows, but not a grocery bill or lunch out ( he sees them all any way, but grocery bills are expected, vets bills could be anything). Similarly, I know what train tickets cost, and can guess what an evening out might cost. Before I go shopping I will say , I'm going shopping to day, I expect to spend under x and he says , no, that's not enough, allow your self at least half that again, or something. And I say, yeah ok. Some times I do, mostly I don't!

Its just easier to be communicative about it in advance that not. I'm much tighter than the Boss but we cannot have those kind of discussions over breakfast like most people , so it can be a bit stilted if one were awkward about it so I am glad I am as blunt about it as I am, we discuss it easily and it enables us to tighten spending when we're both having heavy months, not after we've both had heavy months.


Hmm, that's most of the time ATM!

GDB2222

Doozer, none of your DH's behaviour is in the least bit serious on its own, but the cumulative effect on you is starting to sound as though it is upsetting you. I agree that you should be having a chat about it, but don't be surprised that he probably won't have noticed or thought it all completely unimportant. On the whole, men don't do feelings very well at all, certainly not as well as women.

One way to bring the point home is to present him with a bill and ask him to settle it there and then in cash!

lostinrates

Macputer charger.

I know its grubby, but, would you clean it? I won't!