Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

LydiaJ

Please let us know if there are any of our posts that you would like us to delete.

I can only reiterate what I said to Doozergirl. If something is really getting you down, the most likely possibility is that although you have tried to tell her how you feel, it somehow hasn't got through to her how unhappy it is making you. Try harder to make it clear - not how undesirable her behaviour is, but how alone and uncared for it makes you feel. Many people will finally start listening when the frustrated partner stops saying "You have done xyz again!!! :mad::mad::mad:" and starts saying "I feel scared and alone and helpless and unheard. :(:("

GDB2222

Reports coming in that the Kiev government has compelling evidence that the missile launcher actually had a Russian crew. I can't say I'm surprised.

PasturesNew

I nodded off, only just woken up. Missed the sun/blue sky it looks like

Nikkster

Here are my flowers, bit of a random assortment, but not bad for £3 (flower man at the market was bundling up flowers to get rid of them so he could go:

Spirit_2

lovely flowers Nikkster.

It is blue skies and hot sun here this afternoon. We have been to garden centres various to get bedding plants. One of my birthday presents form OH was three chimney pots, so I needed things to fill them with. It was too hot to be trailing round giant greenhouses though.


I also have the makings of Mojito's and we have spiced rum to have with diet coke.


Reading DG's, Lydia's and micheals posts makes me thinks that some NP are too nice. Or maybe I am not nice enough. Loving someone does not mean you have to give them permission to walk over you. There is no way I could tolerate any mismatch in shared values about 'sharing', i would have to speak up and work it through.

I actually agree with Generali...no spending in a marriage/partnership without responsibility..so if a spouse wilfully disregards shared responsibility then there needs to be some protection for the other party. It is not retaliation but self preservation to create seperate accounts and a housekeeping budget.

Nikkster

Spirit wrote: »

lovely flowers Nikkster.

I think you have to try extra hard to be gloomy when you have sunflowers (or a Nemo balloon. One day...).

Will delete:
The problem with my ex wasn't so much ignoring any kind of financial responsibility (until I left and he stopped paying the rent :eek:), but a complete lack of willpower and that he got his feeling of self-worth from having 'stuff'.

Many of our arguments were about money (the other half were usually about infidelity). It felt like I was having to be 'mum' all the time, being the sensible one and making my money go as far as possible. Ironically, one of the main reasons I said 'no' to stuff was that I knew he couldn't afford to do them as he had so little left at the end of each month. And he was earning more than me. Don't get me wrong, I like buying stuff. But I get great pleasure from saving up, researching, looking out for a good deal. With him it was all about the instant gratification.

We never had joint bank accounts thank goodness (one joint savings account, to encourage him to save - none of my money ever went in there, think it got up to the dizzy heights of a fiver). After I started nagging, he started hiding things (bank statements, amongst many other things). So I started looking for them. And he started hiding them at work. Then he lost his job.

It was toxic. And all of that was festering in a studio flat in the !!!! end of London.

I'm not saying that anyone's OH is doing anything remotely like that. But if you're not feeling like you're working together as a team then you should try and do something about it. You deserve to feel like that. You're all lovely people, and I'm sure your OHs are too. Sometimes all relationships need re-calibrating to make sure all parties are getting the most out of them.

lostinrates

Just found out RP left the hose on since Tuesday. On concrete. Feeding into a drain, into cake, which we have to pay electricity on to pump out.


Grrrrrrr

vivatifosi

GDB2222 wrote: »

Reports coming in that the Kiev government has compelling evidence that the missile launcher actually had a Russian crew. I can't say I'm surprised.

Why does that make me think of cuban heels?

Is this the Cuban-heeled missile crisis?

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

lovely flowers Nikkster.




I also have the makings of Mojito's and we have spiced rum to have with diet coke.

.

Agree, lovely flowers, and lots of life in them.


And you have amoung me favourite things there! I Loooooove rum.

Nikkster

vivatifosi wrote: »

Why does that make me think of cuban heels?

Is this the Cuban-heeled missile crisis?

Very good

Edit: the pun of course, not the situation