Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

Doozergirl

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

In case anyone hasn't seen it, live lightning radar is here.....

http://www.lightningmaps.org/realtime?lang=en

Useful for tracking the progress of thunderstorms through or towards an area. If you zoom in it will also show you the expanding radius of the thunderclap.

Really cool technology.....

For all the techy nerds, this site http://www.blitzortung.org/Webpages/index.php?lang=en has a different visualisation where you can also select the detection network on the left hand side menu and it shows how far away the lightning is picked up by detectors.

It's all run by amateurs, with a network of $200 detectors all over the world linked to central servers. Pretty amazing really, and completely unthinkable 20 years ago.

Haven't looked at the second, but the first is brilliant! The bit that shows the sound radiating really works!

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

Doozergirl wrote: »

Haven't looked at the second, but the first is brilliant! The bit that shows the sound radiating really works!

It's absolutely amazing how much technology has changed in the last 20 years, and just how much data is freely available online.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

Alternatively, she knows you control and are controlling on income, so she leaves you balance the expenditure too. Maybe she feels you are too controlling that leaves the expenditure short of what she considers reasonable? Maybe she has a gripe that you reduce potential income in order to maximise tax credits and CB?

That would work if he did most of the spending, which I don't think he does, and if he was happy with the arrangement, which I don't think he is. I agree that her views about the pension/CB/CTC issue are important. I have been assuming she was happy with the current plan, since he has only mentioned her wanting him to work/earn more, but maybe she would prefer a bit more money in the bank account now even if it does mean less pension later. Actually, I'm not sure that him working/earning more would make any difference to their day to day budget, if he remains committed to sacrificing enough to pension to get himself below the thresholds for CB/CTC.

I find it hard to envisage an arrangement for dealing with money in a marriage in a healthy way that doesn't involve talking about it and each allowing what the other person thinks and wants to influence what you spend.

I also think that leaving all the "dealing with money" in the hands of one person is unwise because life is uncertain. Of course in a relationship there's some kind of division of labour, and if one person dies unexpectedly then the other person will suddenly have to learn how to do things that the deceased person used to do, but I think anyone who really takes no interest at all in the money side of their relationship is leaving themselves in a potentially vulnerable position.

Nikkster

I think a situation where one person gets the tag of 'money controller', and they end up with sole responsibly for earning it and making sure it goes far enough for the whole family wouldn't work for me. It sounds like there is great potential for the money controller to end up being the 'big bad I said no'. A more balanced situation where both partners take responsibility for these things would be more my idea. That doesn't necessarily, but could, mean both contributing to income - but taking a joint interest in the outgoings would be vital. I've experienced a relationship with someone who had poor discipline with money and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do it again.

Nikkster

Town is packed today. There is an event on this weekend, I walked through it on the way into town and it was much bigger than I expected. Might go back out again later as there is stuff going on this evening/ fireworks etc.

Very nearly bought myself a Nemo balloon (I'm blaming kermie) to cheer myself up. Have been feeling pretty mopey all week. Settled on some flowers instead.

Blue skies and sunshine here

lostinrates

Nikkster wrote: »

I think a situation where one person gets the tag of 'money controller', and they end up with sole responsibly for earning it and making sure it goes far enough for the whole family wouldn't work for me. It sounds like there is great potential for the money controller to end up being the 'big bad I said no'. A more balanced situation where both partners take responsibility for these things would be more my idea. That doesn't necessarily, but could, mean both contributing to income - but taking a joint interest in the outgoings would be vital. I've experienced a relationship with someone who had poor discipline with money and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do it again.

Yep. Sometimes there are times one has to be in charge. In capacity, overextended with work or pressure and responsibility etc, but all things being equal, its a shared responsibility to manage and if not actively manage ( e.g. I no longer feel safe managing money online) to support in managing and control spending.



When I went out on Wednesday I dropped Into the shop where I picked something up to sent to pn ( not a present just a silly thing) and had to stand there almost in tears for about seven minutes because I couldn't remember my PIN number. I have had that PIN number more than half my life. I got very flustered and called DH who reminded me not oof my PIN number but my mnemonic for it. There is no way I'm going to start messing with our accounts again ATM.

michaels

Well back from seeing DDs sing, dance and act - it is so nice seeing them do things and be good (or not ) at them but most of all them enjoying it. DD1 is developing my 'nervous' stance so hopefully this will mean she is able to control it.

DKs straight out to join in with the street party where one of the bands is playing their first set and now our DKs are out I suspect water fights may be about to commence....

More the thread is all about me today and don't quote: Taking joint decisions would be great, one person unilaterally deciding that they do not want to have any knowledge of where the money comes from and how it is spent so that they can spend as much as they want feels unfair. I am very conservative with money so there is never any issue of there not being money in the account/cards being rejected so it is very easy for someone to act as a child and just spend. It is not to an unreasonable level but neither is it by consent or with agreement over priorities....a linked problem is the hoarding tendency which means that not only is there no consideration of what is being spent but there is also no consideration of where purchases will live and the resulting clutter is also wearing, especially as I feel that as I am at work most of the day it should not also be my responsibility to sort and de-clutter.

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

Davesnave just told me that its flooded near me. railway lines have been closed, some roads and, shock horror......the power went down in some shops!

Yeah, I heard something about your nearby railway station etc on the radio when I was out, in some round up of problems that I wasn't really listening to. I thought of you.

PasturesNew

silvercar wrote: »

Do we deduce that you have chosen a new phone?

No, but the phone I bought many months ago .... hasn't had a case, I've been keeping it in a glove.

Nikkster

It sounds unfair to me too. And more to the point, it's not how you want to live. Hope the situation changes in some way.