Mum, 88, moving in, how much rent to charge?

Bennifred

SailorSam wrote: »

What's the title of that Country & Western song ?
You know the one were the little lad gives his Mum a bill 'cos he cleaned his room; took the dog for a walk and took stuff out to the bin ?
And the Mum comes back next day saying she's not charging him for cooking his meals; washing his clothes and taking him to football and the Scouts for all the years he was growing up ?
You're story reminds me of that. There is no way on earth i would ever have asked my Mum for money. I did all i could to help her, but i only have to look at my own Sister to know people like your Sister exist.
That's so annoying. And sad.

I think it's called "No Charge" - don't know who by, though! :cool:

lostinrates

Well, one of my parents lives with us, and does contribute.

Why? Because is a bigger user of electricity and other bills than either my husband or I, ( bills more than double when RP is here). My resident parent moved in for many reasons but it seemed it would be mutually beneficial. Its actually surprisingly expensive, in ways we didn't foresee. E.g. We have metred water and my resident parent often forgets to turn tap off properly. Also forgets to turn cooker off sometimes. And makes MASSIVE Internet downloads. Is just generally expensive to keep! In other ways its still mutually beneficial.

The rent a room scheme means that just over I think £80 ish is tax free a week. After than its questionable how much its worth higher rate tax payers charging for the paper work tbh IMO. Well, that's what we felt anyway. I'm not a higher rate tax payer (my husband is, but RP's money is paid to me and is under the rent a room scheme maximum), but couldn't be bothered with the faff to sort out exactly what RP costs. Its amazing how much difference simple things like only boiling the amount of water you need make etc when you add them up though, and not leaving extra lights on. Our bills our horrid now:(

Sometimes just knowing some of it is offset keeps us sane at times.

OP, is there a reason your mother is moving with sister rather than with you at this juncture? Is it her preference too? Would there be room at your house?

Edit: whatever you earn, however much your house is worth, having a parent live with you is a commitment and frankly a sacrifice in some cases. Not necessarily that its not worth while. I benefit more than most but its not always easy, far from it. Op's sister shouldn't have to earn less or down scale to be considered ' dutiful' and her partner too will be sacrificing privacy, personal space and possibly lifestyle for sometime.

Person_one

Well, this is an interesting contrast to all the threads about how much rent parents should charge children...

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Well, this is an interesting contrast to all the threads about how much rent parents should charge children...

I find it interesting. Similar to the aspect of people citing old age loneliness/care as a reason for having children. Have to admit, knowing how much DH and I do for both my parents I do feel somewhat sad they will be no one to do that for us/him but....hey ho.

xxdeebeexx

lostinrates wrote: »

Well, one of my parents lives with us, and does contribute.

Why? Because is a bigger user of electricity and other bills than either my husband or I, ( bills more than double when RP is here). My resident parent moved in for many reasons but it seemed it would be mutually beneficial. Its actually surprisingly expensive, in ways we didn't foresee. E.g. We have metred water and my resident parent often forgets to turn tap off properly. Also forgets to turn cooker off sometimes. And makes MASSIVE Internet downloads. Is just generally expensive to keep! In other ways its still mutually beneficial.

The rent a room scheme means that just over I think £80 ish is tax free a week. After than its questionable how much its worth higher rate tax payers charging for the paper work tbh IMO. Well, that's what we felt anyway. I'm not a higher rate tax payer, but couldn't be bothered with the faff to sort out exactly what RP costs. Its amazing how much difference simple things like only boiling the amount of water you need make etc when you add them up though, and not leaving extra lights on. Our bills our horrid now:(

Sometimes just knowing some of it is offset keeps us sane at times.

OP, is there a reason your mother is moving with sister rather than with you at this juncture? Is it her preference too? Would there be room at your house?

Edit: whatever you earn, however much your house is worth, having a parent live with you is a commitment and frankly a sacrifice in some cases. Not necessarily that its not worth while. I benefit more than most but its not always easy, far from it. Op's sister shouldn't have to earn less or down scale to be considered ' dutiful' and her partner too will be sacrificing privacy, personal space and possibly lifestyle for sometime.

Thank you for putting the other side. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I know that it's very tricky to let someone else into your home.


Our house is too small. I have 2 teenage boys at home in a 3 bedroom house - we simply don't have room.
I do, however, live just 300m away from her.


At my sisters house she would have her own bedroom and her own sitting room. Sounds much better, but, my sister isn't always kind. Mum cries a lot when she visits as my sister has a sharp tongue and is pushy. Mum misses her garden, but enjoys the company. She also likes having her meals cooked.


All I can offer is keep on helping mum to be 'independent' in her own home.
I visit every day sometimes twice. I help with the house work and my husband keeps the garden looking fantastic. She potters about the garden dead heading the plants and doing a bit of weeding. There are a lot of hospital appointments that I take her to. She cooks her own meals.


dx

Gavin83

Person_one wrote: »

Well, this is an interesting contrast to all the threads about how much rent parents should charge children...

I was going to make this point. Why is it acceptable to charge your children rent but not your parents?

GobbledyGook

Other than having her meals cooked every day what will be the benefit to your Mum of moving in with your sister?

If it's simply a meals things then there are meals on wheels and companies who can assist with that.

Have they actually, both of them, thought through all the pros and cons of living together? Not just now, but in the future?

If she lives with your sister then does your sister realise that she is pretty much taking on all the needs your mother has forever? Because it's far easier to split those needs when you can both come and go from your mother's house than it is for you to be round at your sister's house.

Also is your Mum happy about the idea of living in someone else's house for the rest of her life? My Nana wanted to live with us, it was her idea and it was what she wanted, but it still took her well over 2 years to consider it anything other than "Gemma & X's house" which for someone who is used to their own space can be a ig upheaval.

hgotsparkle

Gavin83 wrote: »

I was going to make this point. Why is it acceptable to charge your children rent but not your parents?

Because parents spend enough money bringing you up for the life you now live.

Mojisola

lostinrates wrote: »

Well, one of my parents lives with us, and does contribute.

Edit: whatever you earn, however much your house is worth, having a parent live with you is a commitment and frankly a sacrifice in some cases. Not necessarily that its not worth while. I benefit more than most but its not always easy, far from it. Op's sister shouldn't have to earn less or down scale to be considered ' dutiful' and her partner too will be sacrificing privacy, personal space and possibly lifestyle for sometime.

I wouldn't want to live with one of my children without at least covering all the extras costs involved with me being there.

I would also want to give a bit extra as compensation for all the things lostinrates describes in the edit.

It's about getting the balance right for both sides. One daughter I know had her mother to stay for free - her presence had quite a big impact on the family's life but they didn't take any money off her. When she died, she had amassed quite a lot of money (no bills apart from personal spending) which was shared between all the children equally even though the others hardly made any effort to see her "because X was looking after her".

In another family, the son ran a care home so he took Mum in to live in his house (on the same site as the care home). When she died, his siblings found that he had been charging her the rate the care home residents paid even though she had been left alone most of the time in his house and certainly hadn't been receiving all the services.

sulphate

Gavin83 wrote: »

I was going to make this point. Why is it acceptable to charge your children rent but not your parents?

I'm not sure I will charge my kids rent. The idea makes me uncomfortable. I think in both cases it depends in the circumstances. With kids living at home, if parents earn a lot and kids don't earn much I don't see how parent can justify charging a huge amount of rent for example. If the kid earns a lot more than the parent then that's a different scenario.

£350k joint income is still huge. What's her mother's income- something between £10-£20k per annum, assuming a decent pension?

I guess this is how rich people stay rich.