Why do people choose to get married?

tiger_eyes

catkins wrote: »

I am sure seeing my parents have such a happy and successful marriage helped shape my view and strong belief in marriage.

It doesn't always correlate - like yours, my family is full of happy, stable, long-term marriages, but I have absolutely no desire to get married.

tea_lover

tiger_eyes wrote: »

It doesn't always correlate - like yours, my family is full of happy, stable, long-term marriages, but I have absolutely no desire to get married.

Me too. My parents are very happily married (44 years and going strong) and there are lots of other happy and long marriages among my family and friends.

Lovelyjoolz

tea_lover wrote: »

Me too. My parents are very happily married (44 years and going strong) and there are lots of other happy and long marriages among my family and friends.

Me three. My parents have been married for 46 years, my grandparents are together for 63 years until my Grandfather died. In fact, I can't think of one single case of divorce in my entire family!

And yet I still have no plans to wed my OH of 11 years. Neither does my brother and he and his OH have been together for 16 years.

Obviously, people got married in the past because it was frowned upon to live together. But now that stigma has gone, apart from personal preference and over-romanticising, there's really no need for marriage is there?

Morglin

Angry_Bear wrote: »

But I don't see anything romantic in an old tradition where a woman is "given" to a man. I don't have the religious side and I don't find the paperwork side "romantic". I also don't see anything romantic about an extremely expensive party.

My OH and I are romantic in many ways, we just don't find marriage to be one of them. I would only get married for financial/legal reasons, because I genuinely don't see any other worthwhile ones.

Other people are different of course, it's what makes the world interesting.

ETA: That's not quite true. I wouldn't ONLY get married for financial or legal reasons. I would also get married if it was important to my OH, because I love him and want him to be happy.

I wasn't 'given' as we got married in a registry office, there was no expensive party, we just got married in front of the people we love, and we got married purely out of love.

We didn't need to get married, but we wanted to make the ultimate commitment, which is more than a financial transaction, such as a mortgage!

I have a financial relationship, only with my investment manager, not with the man I love:eek:

Horses for courses.

Lin

Torry_Quine

I got married because we love each other and wanted to be together for ever.

Morglin

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

Me three. My parents have been married for 46 years, my grandparents are together for 63 years until my Grandfather died. In fact, I can't think of one single case of divorce in my entire family!

And yet I still have no plans to wed my OH of 11 years. Neither does my brother and he and his OH have been together for 16 years.

Obviously, people got married in the past because it was frowned upon to live together. But now that stigma has gone, apart from personal preference and over-romanticising, there's really no need for marriage is there?

Depends how you feel about each other, as we got married 10 years ago, after living together, simply because we wanted to be man and wife.

No removed stigma, no pressure from anywhere, just our own choice, and I am glad we did.....:beer:

Lin

itsanne

In view of the number of 'no need' comments, it's worth bearing in mind that there are a number of legal aspects to marriage. That's not the romantic way of looking at it, but they are very important.


They're not why we got married.

marisco_2

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Apart from being preggies - do people get together because they have common interests, or is it because they can simply tolerate each other long enough, or is it simply to feel less insecure?

What makes such relationships last, apart from just having kids? What makes relationships successful?

No trolling please...

To me it is simple. You don't marry someone that you can just live with and tolerate. You settle down and make a lifetime commitment to the one that you cant imagine living your life without.

In answer to your question I think a relationship has a far higher chance of going the long haul, when a couple take things slowly and don't rush through each fun and exciting stage, of getting to know each other.

Pricivius

catkins wrote: »

Do you think your parents’ experience of marriage has affected your view of marriage?

Yes and no! My parent's marriage lasted about 8 years and ended after three kids. However, my mum's second marriage to my step-dad lasted 26 years until he passed away. They were a team to the end and he adored the very bones of her. So I've had experience of both a successful marriage and an unsuccessful one. Personally, I would not rule it out, particularly if it was important to my family or to my partner. I just don't see a compelling argument and find it interesting that people can't provide one, but are aghast that I hold the view I do.

bossymoo

itsanne wrote: »

In view of the number of 'no need' comments, it's worth bearing in mind that there are a number of legal aspects to marriage. That's not the romantic way of looking at it, but they are very important.


They're not why we got married.

That's not why we got married either. But they sure made things a lot easier when he died, leaving me with two kiddies under the age of 3. Even though we had wills, the government would not have recognised me as his next of kin and I would not be able to get widowed parents allowance from his NI contributions. That money pays for childcare enabling me to hold down the job I've worked so hard at all these years. That marriage certificate made the whole paperwork thing so much easier at such a distressing time.
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