Why do people choose to get married?

Buzzybee90

Reason people get married:

Love
Religion
Commitment
Finical equality
Legal benefits
To start a family

Reasons people don't get married:

Inverse snobbery of "marriage is just a piece of paper".... "We don't need to get married to show our commitment" you're right, you don't, but why people actively go against marriage is beyond me.

Lovelyjoolz

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

We don't need to get married to show our commitment" you're right, you don't, but why people actively go against marriage is beyond me.

Some people are just intensely private. Some people are so cripplingly shy that the thought of standing in front of a vicar/registrar and making declarations of love and fidelity to be completely horrific. Even without the hordes of family and friends watching on.

Public displays of affection and announcements of commitment are just completely unimaginable to some people. But it doesn't mean that they love any less deeply. It's cruel and short sighted to say that their relationship is any less committed.

Weddings, even the smallest possible ones, are impossible for some people to contemplate.

And the concept of marriage is becoming outdated now anyway. There are fewer and fewer reasons to do it. Almost every protection marriage brings can be emulated with wills, trusts and Power of Attorney, which can all be done privately without any stressful public declarations. And the one and only thing that you can't emulate is that of the state pension, which, as it dwindles, becomes a complete non-concern.

166million

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

Some people are just intensely private. Some people are so cripplingly shy that the thought of standing in front of a vicar/registrar and making declarations of love and fidelity to be completely horrific. Even without the hordes of family and friends watching on.

Public displays of affection and announcements of commitment are just completely unimaginable to some people. But it doesn't mean that they love any less deeply. It's cruel and short sighted to say that their relationship is any less committed.

Weddings, even the smallest possible ones, are impossible for some people to contemplate.

And the concept of marriage is becoming outdated now anyway. There are fewer and fewer reasons to do it. Almost every protection marriage brings can be emulated with wills, trusts and Power of Attorney, which can all be done privately without any stressful public declarations. And the one and only thing that you can't emulate is that of the state pension, which, as it dwindles, becomes a complete non-concern.

And this may be why we don't get round to it!

balletshoes

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Apart from being preggies - do people get together because they have common interests, or is it because they can simply tolerate each other long enough, or is it simply to feel less insecure?

What makes such relationships last, apart from just having kids? What makes relationships successful?

No trolling please...

I'm not trolling - but couples get married for all sorts of reasons, none of them any more or less valid than any other reason.

Edwardia

He asked me two weeks after we met and I knew he meant it. I could talk to him about anything and we had already talked about what we were looking for in a relationship before our first date.

I said yes to make him happy. I love him.

sharloid

OH and I have been together for 7 years but I still don't understand getting married. Maybe for the legal aspects or if you got a tax break etc but because you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner? You don't need to get married to do that! I guess I really just don't understand how love/commitment are valid reasons.

Angry_Bear

duchy wrote: »

I agree with you about expensive parties but we are talking marriage not weddings. A marriage needs two people someone qualified to conduct the ceremony and a couple of witnesses. A wedding is the social froth that can accompany the ceremony. I think a lot of the problem is some people can't separate the two.

Marriage today is a legal and equal partnership. My late Dad did give away but I didn't see it as him handing me over as an asset but as accompanying me to the altar and supporting me as I took a step into a huge commitment.

I agree about the wedding thing. I've just never got the value of a marriage - my mum's been divorced twice, as has my dad. They both now live with their current partners - relationships that have lasted about as long as either marriage!

I don't need to shout out my commitment or my love to other people, I shout it to my partner, with my actions, every day. As does he to me. I'm not "keeping my options open" - I fully expect to be with my OH for the rest of my life. I don't see how a marriage says commitment when divorce is so easy.

And the thought of an actual wedding brings me out in cold sweats .

thorsoak

I know it was over 50 years ago, but OH and I were proud to publicly announce our lifelong commitment to each other. And the fact that we publicly announced our intention to commit to each other for a lifetime somehow made it even more important that we both worked on it and stuck to it.

Errata

I married because it never occurred to either of us to do anything else. A simple case of "putting our money where our mouth was"

onlyroz

Seemed like a good idea at the time