Frump to Fab - Onwards and Upwards

Floss

Well, where is everyone then?!


Fab Friday went as planned, black shift dress with red belt & red patent shoes for work, nails had been shellacked on Thursday a lovely bright r ed so Ivwas very coordinated


Went out for a walk today via the town centre, nipped into Millets to check out their walking shoes as mine were worn out and walked out in some (reduced) Salomon mid-boots that felt like slippers

Rummer

I had a less than good eating day

It started with HM pancakes with a scraping of butter and jam, a reasonably healthy lunch of peppers, pitta and houmous and then ended in a korma and wine However I am giving myself one day a week to relax and eat what I choose (within reason) I have kept off the sweets and chocolates though which is my main focus atm and once I have that in hand the rest will follow. Oh and I am holding fast on the no eating meat too

I did some home and garden fabbing today We chose paint for the hall and bedroom which I am hoping to get sorted before my maternity leave finishes. Then I got some of our beds weeded an dug over in the garden. I didn't grow much this year unfortunately however i am prepping the garden for next year so that it is ready when the good weather comes.

As for personal fabbing I guess the gardening was a bit of fitness and I did wear a dress to dig in :rotfl: I have noticed that since my DS the amount of grey I have has greatly increased and I am having to colour my hair far more often, not sure if it was hormonal or just ageing! I may have to consider lightening my hair at some point although I am not at that stage yet

lessonlearned

It has begun.........

My husband is now dying.

It feels like I've been hit by a succession of Tsunamis, each one bigger than the last.

My heart races, my head spins, my legs feel like they are going to buckle, my chest feels like it's being crushed. I feel like I've been beaten up and given a good kicking.

I never knew that grief manifested so physically.

I dont know how long my darling will last, thankfully he,s stopped fighting. He says he's ready.

Today ds2and I got down to the practicalities, catching up with the laundry, doing some food shopping, just clearing the decks in readiness for the vigil.

My back problems really couldn't have come at a worse time but hopefully it should start easing soon.

I've spent my enforced down time thinking about the funeral, choosing music, poems, etc.

I've had to force myself to go through photos to prepare a montage we can put to music. I dreaded doing that but it was strangely cathartic and the memories it unleashed have been bitter sweet.

I have not been able to look at photos for years now because I just found it too painful, the comparisons between the man he was and the man he is now were just too cruel.

I actually feel both relieved and proud of myself that I finally managed to conquer that particular demon.

Amazing what we can do when we have to. We all have inner reserves that we can tap into.

We are all stronger than we think we are.......

Rummer

Floss wrote: »

Well, where is everyone then?!


Fab Friday went as planned, black shift dress with red belt & red patent shoes for work, nails had been shellacked on Thursday a lovely bright r ed so Ivwas very coordinated


Went out for a walk today via the town centre, nipped into Millets to check out their walking shoes as mine were worn out and walked out in some (reduced) Salomon mid-boots that felt like slippers

Sounds as if you had a good day and that you looked fabulous

Rummer

LL Over the time I have followed this thread you have shared stories of your husband and what a wonderful man he is, from the moment you met, how thoughtful he is of others and the journey you have taken through his illness as well as the wonderful children you have raised together.

Just know that I am here and that you are in my thoughts.

maddiemay

LL, you are right and you will find all the strength that you need for the hours/days to come. I have been and will be thinking of you and your family and offering support across the ether. Take care. xx

Kiwisaver_2

lessonlearned wrote: »

I actually feel both relieved and proud of myself that I finally managed to conquer that particular demon

I'm so sorry LL that you have to go through this, grief is a dreadful thing and there are no words that will help but I am sure you will find comfort in small ways with your memories and the support of your boys around you. I hope you can find time and strength to take good care of yourself also.

Tiggger

LL there are no words, (((hugs))) to you and your boys. Thinking of you.xx

Floss

LL, your beloved husband has shown immense strength of character and that is mirrored in you and your sons. My thoughts are with you all, and I hope that this last difficult journey you have to face is a short one for all of you.


Love & prayers,
Floss xxx

lessonlearned

Got called out at 2 am. Spent the night on a mattress on the floor in OH's room. Not the best for a bad back.

Have popped home for a bath and to pack some things to take in. Not a fashion parade but just a few changes of undies and a couple of tops.

Hopefully they will give me a proper bed tonight:rotfl: