Frump to Fab - Onwards and Upwards

ScarlettMcCain

LL, I'm sure your OH knows how much you love and care for him which is what matters; it sounds like he has great carers too, one less thing to worry about. You are doing your best in a very difficult situation, sometimes a good cry does help! And we are all here if you need to chat :-)

Thank you to everyone for their suggestions about how I tackle the issue with my OH. I live with him but we have a lodger (so not much privacy!) and no kitchen till the extension is built (some time in 2025, at the current work rate), both of which can be a bit stressful. Haven't been able to have a chat with him yet but after a crappy Friday, I felt better yesterday - a couple of comments from him this afternoon though and I'm back to square one. Sometimes I feel like I deserve it - if I was a stronger person I wouldn't get bullied - but then years of being told I was stupid, selfish etc by my ex have taken their toll in that respect.

Currently lurking upstairs doing cleaning, I don't want to sit down in case I get any comments about me being lazy whilst he works in the garden - despite the fact that I do about 80% of the housework!

Bitsy_Beans

tru wrote: »

I've given in and booked an appointment with an osteopath. I'll have to be half-naked IN FRONT OF A STRANGER and I'm dreading it.
.

I had to be in my bra and knickers for my osteopath. And he was male and not beaten with the ugly stick :eek: welcome back to the thread

lessonlearned wrote: »

i know.

I've had 8 years to prepare for this and I'm still not ready….

I don't think anyone is EVER ready. You may know it's coming but that doesn't make it any easier. Hugs for you and your OH. I hope your DS can enjoy his 30th given the circumstances xxx

System

I have to echo what others have said LL, and hope you can find some comfort in how well OH is cared for, and that he knows without a shadow of a doubt how much he's loved.
Thinking of you
Take care
Rx

Julie67

Evening all,

LL big hugs my love
Hi Tru NMP well done on your job, I told you, you should be baking professionally:T

My little room is coming on fab. My DIL gave me some lovely blue and white scatter cushions which look lovely and I've bought some new bits of stationary today.
I'm currently working on a Home Management Binder so we can have all our information together instead of spread through lots of different books. I love feeling organised.
Have sold quite a few bits on eBay this week, so all helping with the savings pot.
Right off for an early night I'm shattered. Sleep well all

sweaty_betty

LL - so sorry about your OH. I really hope that you're able to enjoy your time together.

I have been away for the weekend and come back full of resolve - exercise, healthy eating, etc. Let's see if I can stick to it...

Rummer

LL Never apologise to us for sharing how you are feeling, you have provided support and encouragement for everyone on this thread and we are here to listen.

No amount of time prepares you for what you are experiencing and you just need to let your feelings flow.

sweetcheeks33

LL, I'm glad your OH is comfortable and you have the comfort also of knowing how well cared for he is, he also knows that you love him very much. Nothing prepares you for the loss of someone you love so dearly, it's a part of the soul we can't allow ourselves to touch until it happens. I hope you are taking care of yourself and being gentle also. Feeling the release of the pent up emotions of tears helps us to regain strength again to keep going. Much hugs & love to you and your family LL.

tru

Morning :hello:

LL So so sorry to hear about your OH :sad: How are you this morning? xx

Bitsy Sorry to hear about OH's job

I'm feeling a bit blah this morning, my own fault because I've had a couple of lazy days - the less I do, the less energy I have.

I'm a bit dried out from gardening. Spending time in the greenhouses and playing with compost means my hair, hands and nails are frazzled, so I'll concentrate on them today. Later on, I'll write a plan for small pamper sessions. I need to include exercise but I have no idea what the osteopath is going to tell me to do, or how often, so that'll have to wait a few days.

Julie I love stationary too! Scribbled notes and ideas that turn into solid plans, then transferred into order in lovely notebooks and diaries

lessonlearned

Good morning everyone

Not feeling too bad this morning. Maybe shedding all those tears yesterday has helped - some some of cathartic release. Who knows. I'm no psychiatrist but I guess maybe it's good to just let your emotions rip once in a while.

Anyway OH seems stable. Yesterday DS1 and I sat with him in the sunshine for a while. There is a little spot in the gardens which nobody seems to use - it is a little patio area and someone has planted around the edges with hollyhocks, gladiolis and sunflowers - very colourful and very private. Its a lovely little tranquil haven and we often sit there.

I tilt OH's wheelchair back and I lie on the bench. We watch the clouds in the sky and listen to the birds and insects (and yes the distant drone of the motorway - there's no escaping them these days). He often nods off but that's fine.

OH really enjoys sitting out in the warm sunshine. Yesterday I took some photos and we sat and looked at those. He's still not really eating but he says he doesn't feel hungry. I guess this is just nature's way of gradually shutting things down. He's pain free and comfortable - that's what really matters.

We didn't end up doing anything for DS1's birthday but we might do something tomorrow evening. I think we are all just very tired at the moment.

On the fabbing front - well I've got my act together. Theres a nice joint of beef in the slow cooker, and there's lots of fruit, veg and salads in the fridge so I've no excuse this week. I've had a nice long soak this morning and made an effort with my clothes and hair so feel a lot better.

On Saturday I cut OH's hair and gave him a mini manicure and pedicure - so we are both all fabbed up.:D I do need to make up some lavender massage oil.

A nice gentle day planned today. A little potter round the shops, have a few things to drop at the charity shop (still decluttering'…..) and then a couple of hours with OH and then hopefully and hour or so in the garden later. The garden is looking good, however there's a few weeds and I need to transplant some things to bigger pots.

(There goes the manicure:rotfl:)

But first - a cup of coffee and a croissant - al fresco of course.…

Have a great day.

Kiwisaver_2

I think it's amazing LL that you can find some positives and simple pleasures for yourself and OH in your situation - long may you continue to find the strength to do that.


I fabbed up my finger nails yesterday and have been to yoga today.