I'm worried about my Mam and Dad

bubbs

Person_one wrote: »

I'd say that's a question for a new thread, and probably on the benefits board rather than this one.

Ok Thanks:D

Amanda65

Any luck with Teachers Support Network Becles? Having read through the rest of the thread I think they will definitely be able to give advice / support your parents.

Becles

Just thought I would update this.

None of the teacher support places could help. They're very limited on income as they are charities themselves and will only offer small amounts of money to people with pretty much nothing. As my parents do have a small amount of savings, nobody would help them.

Social services said that they would continue to organise the carers and sent an invoice showing how much my Mam would have to pay. There is no contribution from the council at all. It was a contract to pay that fee for 12 months and there was no flexibility in the agreement. Mam didn't like that idea as she couldn't afford the fee and didn't want to be tied into something so rigid for that length of time given his condition.

Mam decided as they were funding all the care, it would make more sense just to deal with the carers agency herself. As she is paying direct, she has more flexibility and for example, she's cancelled them this weekend as my brother is visiting so he can help out for free, or if she became ill, she can ring and ask for extra visits. She's cut the visits down to a level they can afford which means it's hard on her as she has to lift him on her own at times, but there's nothing else we can do about that.

They've used some of their savings to get a permanent ramp fitted at the front so he can get in and out. The back garden is terraced but the man who did the front suggested fitting decking to bring the patio level with the back door and a wooden ramp to cover the steps as a cheaper alternative, so he's got access to all of the garden now.

They've found a good company online who deals in wheelchair cars and have managed to get a really good deal trading in their old cars and getting a second hand wheelchair car. They're hoping to deliver that on Friday.

They're still thinking about a garage conversion as they don't have enough money to pay for that and would have to get a loan out which isn't ideal as they're both pensioners. Dad is still sleeping in the sitting room and is unable to have a decent wash due to the lack of downstairs bathroom facilities. He does get a bed bath each day though.

He's been out of hospital for 14 weeks now and we still haven't got the equipment he needs. He still has no sitting balance and they were assessed as needing a special supportive wheelchair with a motor on, a supportive chair and a commode.

At the moment, we're making do with an ordinary armchair and an ordinary wheelchair and wedging him in with pillows but they're are not supportive enough. He's only able to spend short periods in them as he slips sideways and ends up uncomfortable and asks to back into bed. Therefore we can only take him out on very short trips. Due to the lack of a commode has to use bed pans all the time and he hates using them.

Really frustrated with the support services department at the hospital. They've been contacted umpteen times by my Mam and the various medical people involved with his care, but we're no further forward in getting the items he needs.

Worried about his mental health as he's spending a lot of time in bed and he's really depressed. Hoping things improve when the proper wheelchair finally comes and we can get him out and about a bit more.

They've applied for attendance allowance and are still waiting to hear about that. They're also still waiting to hear if they are entitled to a blue badge.

mountainofdebt

I know they're on holiday at the moment but have you thought about writing to your MP, perhaps care of his local office rather than in London?

The only time I need help from the DWP many moons ago they decided to act like muppets and it was only when I got my MP involved that they pulled their finger out

Other than that, what about PALS at the hospital could they help?

Hermoine

Has anyone mentioned The Red Cross? They provide loans of equipment, including wheelchairs, commodes etc, so might be able to fill in the gaps in equipment that your Dad needs. They were very helpful when my Dad needed stuff. Check whether there's a branch in your area.

Spendless

Did you contact any of the other charities mentioned, other than the teacher ones? Places like Age Concern, Dial etc? Also have you asked on the disability and dosh part of this forum?

Becles

Yes she's tried everywhere.

She can get loans of equipment but just standard stuff. He needs the specialist stuff with extra lower back support as his left side isn't able to hold him in a sitting position.

mountainofdebt

I'm not a fan of doing this myself but if needs must.......

what about making yourself a pita at the gps? not in an abusive way but getting the gp out on a frequent basis to see your dad & mum so that they get fed up and kick a few backsides?

As I heard on the radio a few months back its those who are savy enough or have people in their corner savy to fight for them, that are getting seen to in the health care system,especially at gp level

Madmel

As well as the GP, MP and local councillors, what about the local newspaper? They do a great job with stories like your Dad's - retired teacher, having given so much to the community being ignored in his hour of need...

There is a story in my local paper this week about a disabled lady who was refused a new boiler by one of the big 6 companies and who has had no heating or hot water since January. The paper stepped in, and lo and behold it has been sorted. If there are any former pupils of your Dad who are now tradespeople or who have contacts, you never know what may transpire.

Finally, having had similar issues with Mother-in-Law, we found that s/he who shouts loudest gets what they need. Being stoic or "coping" means that SS leave well alone. You have to be pretty assertive. It sounds like your Dad does not have any of the correct equipment he desperately needs. Probably via the GP, he needs an urgent Occupational Therapist review. MiL's was brilliant - listened to her saying she could cope, then completely ignoring her and setting up a great package of both care and practical stuff.

Good luck with it all