I'm worried about my Mam and Dad

lilmissreading

Good work so becles - you and your mum. You hve both worked really hard to get as far as you have. I am glad to hear that now your dad has got to know two of thecares he feels more comfortable. It's funny how we can respond better too the bluntness of a stranger. Good on that carer - sounds like she's treating him like an adult in a non critical non threatening way.

I think what the other poster meant was that if he wasn't paying you might have had more trouble keeping the careres you like and binning the duff one.

Still I think we all agree this does not seem fair.

I have worked in 2 places with reablement. Both to my knowledge had the basic criteria of someone with a disability, who needed to get back to previous adls (activities of daily living such as washing), not previously receiving care and who would understand that post 6 weeks they pay for care. I have never heard of anyone getting 5 visits a day. The most I have heard of is 4 and that is often an epic battle if social services are paying. I would most definitely google 'reablement' and your local area. There should be criteria on the website. If there is not I'm afraid it's another phone call to social services to ask them.

I too have worked with people who have waited years for bathroom adaptations. i think the simple message is that illness is VERY unfair. Others still have been turned down as they could wash at a sink and carers would empty the commode on their one to two visits a day.

I second primrose's suggestion of contacting your MP.

CH27

Becles wrote: »

But he isn't fortunate enough to pick and choose because he doesn't have the funds.

The hospital recommended 5 care visits per day with 2 carers per visit. My parents cannot afford this, and are now having to cut the visits and my pensioner Mam (who has her own health issues) will have to do more of the caring work.

Then due to the high cost of the carers, they cannot afford to have the major home adaptations done, so he's stuck with sleeping in the sitting room and having bed baths.

If they had no additional pension income, they would be entitled to the 5 carer visits, plus permanent ramps front and back and the garage converted into a bedroom and shower room for free.

I think that them moving to adapted sheltered accommodation will really help.
Can you try talking to them about it?

Becles

CH27 wrote: »

I think that them moving to adapted sheltered accommodation will really help.
Can you try talking to them about it?

I've already talked about that but it's not an option for numerous reasons - some I agree with and some I don't, but I have to respect their wishes.

Person_one

Sorry if you've mentioned this earlier, but have they or you been in touch with the Stroke Association?

Becles

Yes I think Mam has contacted the Stroke Association and a lady popped out and helped with the attendance allowance application. That's being processed now so we don't know if they are entitled to it or not yet.

I was looking at Motorbility but I don't think he's eligible for a car as he's too old to claim DLA or PIP. Is that right?

They were hoping to sell their old car and get a loan for the difference to buy one of those cars where you can push a wheelchair into it (he's too disabled to sit in a normal car seat). They can't afford the loan now due to high care costs so that's another plan out the window A car would have meant she could take him shopping with her and he could attend things like church and my daughters sports day and plays at school.

margaretclare

Motability goes with DLA. Your Dad can't claim both AA and DLA because there's an age cut-off. DLA before age 65, AA from 65 onwards.

Many people think this is unfair, but there is an assumption from 'on high' that you don't need to be out-and-about so much in the retirement years, not like when you needed a car to get to work.

However, once you're in receipt of AA no one tells you what to spend it on.

Mojisola

Becles wrote: »

I've already talked about that but it's not an option for numerous reasons - some I agree with and some I don't, but I have to respect their wishes.

Becles wrote: »

They were hoping to sell their old car and get a loan for the difference to buy one of those cars where you can push a wheelchair into it (he's too disabled to sit in a normal car seat). They can't afford the loan now due to high care costs so that's another plan out the window A car would have meant she could take him shopping with her and he could attend things like church and my daughters sports day and plays at school.

The decisions are theirs to make - at some point they may decide that it's better to move to a place that's set up so that your Dad can have showers and they can release some capital for things like a new car rather than struggle on as they are.

Becles

Mojisola wrote: »

The decisions are theirs to make - at some point they may decide that it's better to move to a place that's set up so that your Dad can have showers and they can release some capital for things like a new car rather than struggle on as they are.

They may do. But at the moment, staying in their own home is what they wish to do until it's physically and/or financially impossible to stop there.

RAS

Is he eligible for a Mobility car?

Spendless

Becles wrote: »

They've had the financial assessment back. In a nutshell they've been assessed as having to pay almost all of my Dad's occupational pension towards his care. That leaves them with just the basic state pension to live on which doesn't cover their current outgoings as obviously their household budget before the stroke didn't include losing the pension to pay for care.

They don't qualify for pension credit as they have a pension coming and they now won't be able to get a loan to cover the home adaptations they need but are not entitled to help with.

Also they were under the impression that the first six weeks of care was free. However the care manager has said because they were not discharged under the re-enablement scheme (no idea what that is?!) we are not entitled to the free care, so they're sending a bill for all the carers visits he's had to date (five weeks since he left hospital). Mam is furious about that as if they have to pay, it'll wipe out their savings.


She's going to contact Age UK and the Carers Association and apply for Attendance Allowance to see if she can get any further help.

Who did the financial assessment? Was it the council/LA? If so get an organisation like you've mentioned above to have a look at it, it may be that your Dad isn't claiming things he can be claiming.

My 90 yo nan has dementia lives independantly and we've had to get carers in twice a day from earlier on this year. As well as claiming AA she was awarded a pot of money which is called something like personalisation (I'm sure someone will be along to explain more thoroughly than I can) and she also has had things done free of charge under something the occupational therapist called 'minor adaptions to the house' which has included a ramp out of her front door and also a bath chair. She didn't need to pay for the carers until she'd had the financial assessment done up till then the care was free. Tell Age UK (or whoever) about what you've been told about having to pay for carers from the time your Dad left hospital, see what they say/can recommend.

In nans case she does get a small amount of pension credit savings top up, but I *think* the personalisation and the ramp & chair came before it was done, and there was no charge however we've had so many agencies involved it's had to remember who said what, when!

All the best Becles, both my Grandads were stroke patients and my FIL has also had a stroke. I know stoke patients all cope differently. One of my Granddads lived almost 25 years as a stroke patient, having lost speech and use of all his right side, he maintained a far sunnier disposition than my FIL who can still walk, talk and has lost some feeling in his left side but is very 'woe is me' about it