Getting married, joint finances who pays for childcare?

krustylouise

Hi all,

Just after opinions please as I am currently on the fence with this one.

In October OH and I are getting married and he will be moving in with DD and I. Obviously then finances will be split with bills, food etc. We have agreed to pay half the bills and food. We will be paying our own petrol, insurance, mobiles etc.

My question is this, should childcare and DD's school dinners be my sole financial responsibility {as I will receive child tax credits not working tax, I will receive child benefit for DD and also maintenance from her Dad} or should this be like another bill and split half and half as we are a family now, even though OH isn't DD's dad?

Thanks for all replies, please be nice as I am not looking for criticism just opinions on how the childcare should be paid.

ETA - I've just checked and I was wrong - he does still have to pay maintenance! Phew!!!

peachyprice

I would say her own dad pays for it, so it comes out of the maintenance he pays you.

I don't really see why, if you're getting CB, CTC and maintenance your OH should be expected to stump up half of her childcare too. If maintenance is not enough you should be taking it up with her dad.

purpleshoes_2

Whats your partner's view?

quidsy

Agreed, it is your child & has financial supported by father so why should your new husband pay also.

krustylouise

peachyprice wrote: »

I would say her own dad pays for it, so it comes out of the maintenance he pays you.

I don't really see why, if you're getting CB, CTC and maintenance your OH should be expected to stump up half of her childcare too. If maintenance is not enough you should be taking it up with her dad.

Oh believe me I have had this conversation with him regarding maintenance over and over and over again. However I believe {please forgive me if I'm wrong} non residential fathers can stop paying maintenance when the mother gets married?! The maintenance he pays me isn't enough now, it has been the cause of many an argument and never gets resolved as he insists it is enough going off his wages.

krustylouise

purpleshoes wrote: »

Whats your partner's view?

We haven't discussed this as I just assumed I would be paying it, but we discussed finances last night and it got me thinking.

krustylouise

quidsy wrote: »

Agreed, it is your child & has financial supported by father so why should your new husband pay also.

Can I play devils advocate and ask...if DD's dad didn't pay maintenance would it be fair for me to accept financial help from OH for her childcare then?

krustylouise

peachyprice wrote: »

I would say her own dad pays for it, so it comes out of the maintenance he pays you.

I don't really see why, if you're getting CB, CTC and maintenance your OH should be expected to stump up half of her childcare too. If maintenance is not enough you should be taking it up with her dad.

That's a good point. Thanks for your reply. What got me thinking was that I work 35hours a week and he works 42.5. We were on about things being half and half as it would be fair. However if I pay petrol, insurance and mobile {same as OH} AND childcare I literally won't have any money left at the end of a month whereas he will have about £500!

quidsy

krustylouise wrote: »

Can I play devils advocate and ask...if DD's dad didn't pay maintenance would it be fair for me to accept financial help from OH for her childcare then?

No because presumably you have been managing without new husbands money anyway?

We were on about things being half and half as it would be fair. However if I pay petrol, insurance and mobile {same as OH} AND childcare I literally won't have any money left at the end of a month whereas he will have about £500!

How is marraige & cohabitation going to leave you worse off Do you live apart at the moment? If yes presumably split of bills/HH costs will be beneficial to you both? & if not, how much spare cash do you have now unmarried & living alone with child?

peachyprice

krustylouise wrote: »

However I believe {please forgive me if I'm wrong} non residential fathers can stop paying maintenance when the mother gets married?!

No, that is not correct, he will have to pay maintenance for his child until she leaves full time education!

The only maintenance that stops if you re-marry is spousal mantenance,

peachyprice

krustylouise wrote: »

That's a good point. Thanks for your reply. What got me thinking was that I work 35hours a week and he works 42.5. We were on about things being half and half as it would be fair. However if I pay petrol, insurance and mobile {same as OH} AND childcare I literally won't have any money left at the end of a month whereas he will have about £500!

How can that be? You'll only be paying half the bills you're paying now, you should be better off. Yes, you'll be spending more on food, but utilities will be more or less the same for 2 working adults as 1, you have your car to pay for now, so that's no different.

Are you moving to a much bigger house that will be costing twice as much rent/mortgage than you pay now?

Are you in a deficit at the end of every month now?