We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Is it reasonable to be upset about this?
Grumpypoo
Posts: 58 Forumite
This is a situation that happened to a friend's sister. The sister is a moneysaver and for her wedding picked out a venue.
She had researched it and managed to find somewhere
-with parking, with outdoor play area for children, not too expensive, looks good in pictures, within a 10 mile drive of home, would allow you to bring own drinks/food. would accommodate 200 guests.
She spent a lot of time over a few months visiting dozens of venues which could tick those boxes within budget. She had a big wedding with over 150 friends and family. About 3 months later one of the guests at the wedding who is a cousin hosted her husband's 60th at the same venue.
The friends sister was invited to the birthday party but only knew the venue the day before (there were no formal paper invitations - just free this date for the party). She was a bit upset that the cousin had not mentioned to her they were going to use the same venue.
That venue had never been used for a family get together before as it is a bit out of the way but she was upset that they did not even bother to mention it to her beforehand or even at the party because she had put in a lot of work to finding it. I can see her point but on the other hand it is a public place and does not 'belong' to her.
I said to just get over it but she wants an apology.
How do you see the situation?
Edit:
What I got from her is that she is upset not because they used the venue, but that they did not mention it to her beforehand, or say something like 'thank you for finding such a good place' because she put in so much effort into finding a perfect venue which is actually very reasonably priced.
She had researched it and managed to find somewhere
-with parking, with outdoor play area for children, not too expensive, looks good in pictures, within a 10 mile drive of home, would allow you to bring own drinks/food. would accommodate 200 guests.
She spent a lot of time over a few months visiting dozens of venues which could tick those boxes within budget. She had a big wedding with over 150 friends and family. About 3 months later one of the guests at the wedding who is a cousin hosted her husband's 60th at the same venue.
The friends sister was invited to the birthday party but only knew the venue the day before (there were no formal paper invitations - just free this date for the party). She was a bit upset that the cousin had not mentioned to her they were going to use the same venue.
That venue had never been used for a family get together before as it is a bit out of the way but she was upset that they did not even bother to mention it to her beforehand or even at the party because she had put in a lot of work to finding it. I can see her point but on the other hand it is a public place and does not 'belong' to her.
I said to just get over it but she wants an apology.
How do you see the situation?
Edit:
What I got from her is that she is upset not because they used the venue, but that they did not mention it to her beforehand, or say something like 'thank you for finding such a good place' because she put in so much effort into finding a perfect venue which is actually very reasonably priced.
0
Comments
-
If she's going to get stressed about someone else using a venue that she might possibly have looked at - then by the time she gets married, she is going to be a complete nervous wreck! Tell her to get over it.0
-
no its not reasonable to get upset.
could understand if it was the day before but 3 months later! don't see the problem0 -
"I said to just get over it but she wants an apology."
An apology for what exactly?
The venue is not exclusively for her wedding so I am afraid she is onto a non-starter looking for an apology.
Should the venue apologise to her for renting the place out to other people?0 -
No, not reasonable to get upset.
I don't understand people who like to take ownership of things they don't own.0 -
Jeez - she wants an apology??
I would be flattered that someone thought I had picked such a beautiful venue that they used it themselves.
In fact this did happen to me, and my wedding venue was used by my husbands cousin for their own wedding the following year - I was delighted to know I had picked somewhere that others enjoyed so much!!10/10 [STRIKE]£12,156.26 [/STRIKE] 11/10 [STRIKE]£11,950[/STRIKE] 04/11[STRIKE] £12,500 [/STRIKE]Ooops! Okay, back on track - 01/2014 £2,800, 05/2014 £4,500 (my car died!)
My little angel (due date 25/12/2014) :A 05/20140 -
3 months after she got married?
She has no right to get upset IMO, I can kind-of understand but if it's perfect for the 60th AND the wedding has happened, where is the issue? *bemused*
EDIT: agree with above poster that if the venue is so awesome I would be happy to have located it so other family members/friends could use it.
HBS x"I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."
"It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."
#Bremainer0 -
An apology? Eh?
"I'm sorry I had a party at a place where you also had a party in the past"
I mean, what? Why?0 -
I think the appropriate response is for her to make an official complaint to the venue for daring to host an event so soon after her wedding.
They could do with a good laugh, I'm sure.0 -
Oh jeeze lets not hope that she buys a ford focus and a family member buys one from the same place and same spec in a different color she'll be demanding a refund from ford! and demanding that her family member take their car back and give her the refund for compensation and form of apology!
how daft! and if I was on the receiving end of this id make sure the next party that comes round she's completely in the dark!.0 -
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" - she should be proud she found such a nice place others want to copy her.
3 months AFTER the wedding, and she's upset?0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards