School Changing Trip Destination 3 days before travel

fabforty

mossstitchmama wrote: »

.

I am sure they will have a good time no matter what.
That's all that matters - although he won't if he picks up on your feelings.




I am just curious as to how many of you would accept a change of destination on a holiday you had booked eight months in advance without any complaints?

TBH OP, I would. Maybe I'm a pushover, but to me it falls in the category of '!!!! happens'. I have two children and hope that a change of holiday destination is the worst thing that they ever have to deal with in school. Your son and his classmates will enjoy their last few weeks in primary school and it will be memorable, for all the right reasons. Sometimes things don't go according to plan but the best thing that we can do as parents is 'get a grip' and teach our children how to deal with these situations.

mossstitchmama

mandragora wrote: »

I wasn't implying any sarcasm. I was making a very simple point, albeit not in support of you. The image was of a 'time vampire'.

Not sure what one of those is. I don't spend much time on these type of forums, I am self employed and luckily quite busy. I only wanted constructive suggestions of ways to tackle the situation.

You've asked for opinions, presumably, by posting on here, so I've given you mine. There is an issue with your son's school trip which has arisen through no fault of the school.

Unfortunately it is the fault of the party leader. He admitted today that he made the original bookings in February. He did not get confirmation of the return leg of the journey and the transport is no longer available.


You've been offered an alternative which has been arranged, or the chance to remove him from the trip.

No, we have been given no alternative. basically told to like it or lump it. Either they all go or none go.


No-one is evil. No-one is vicious. Something has happened which wasn't part of the original proposal and someone at school has had enough extra work to do with sorting out all the arrangements that they now need to change, and they've had a lot of extra work to do. No-one's fault, stuff like this happens all the time in schools. Staff are already going above and beyond in arranging the trip - it's a voluntary activity, they don't have to do it, and there's a part of me that is always pathetically grateful to any staff willing to put their career and professional reputation in the lap of the 'trip gods' and risk ever bothering to arrange any trip at all for our pupils, much less the significant demands and stresses of a residential. They can really, really do without unnecessary, needy, whining parents who want the world to go back to how it was before the 'problem' arose.

It has also come to light that there is no insurance for the cancellation of the trip which we had been lead to believe was included in the cost.

He can't go the the IoW. Do you want him to go to Norfolk or not?

He was offered the chance to go to Norfolk last year. He chose to wait and go to the IOW. We could only afford the one trip.


If so, smile, encourage him, and thank the staff. If not, smile, encourage him to enjoy his lessons in school that week/day/couple of days, put your name on the 'Please refund me' list, and thank the staff.

As for me? I've worked in a few schools in my day (I'm quite long in the tooth now!), from inner-city tough comps, to a top grammar school and including a stint as a lecturer in a university, and am an adviser to a Russell group university on secondary education. The school I am at gained 'Outstanding' for the area I take lead responsibility for in a recent Ofsted. As you expressed an interest.

Thank you for taking the time to write a coherent answer. I have found it a bit demoralising, asking for constructive advice and getting what in some cases appear to possibly be snap judgements. I was always taught if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I can manage it most of the time!

mossstitchmama

ViolaLass wrote: »

OP, you expressed some concern about your son's SATS a couple of pages back, due to his teacher leaving shortly before them. Are you aware that SATS don't matter for the child in the slightest?

They are measuring the school, not the child, and make no difference to the child's future in any way whatsoever.

In one way you are correct. The school my son is going to put no store in them at all as they do not stream the classes until year 8. However, the other local school where many of his classmates are going, use them as an indicator of what set to put the children in in Year 7.

ViolaLass

mossstitchmama wrote: »

In one way you are correct. The school my son is going to put no store in them at all as they do not stream the classes until year 8. However, the other local school where many of his classmates are going, use them as an indicator of what set to put the children in in Year 7.

As do we. And we reset anyone who isn't in the right place by the first half term. It has no long term effect on them.

We don't tend to trust the SATS results anyway, particularly given how much they're crammed for by parents and schools. Short term tutoring (as some parents arrange) has no long term benefit.

mandragora_2

mossstitchmama wrote: »

"Due to a booking error with the coach company, transport has not been arranged for the Isle of Wight part of the journey.

I have another child to get to school..

I have to drive 45 mins

I cannot be on my course

What part of "I am going to see my son off on an trip do you not understand?".

I asked for my course fee to be paid for by the school

I am very unhappy.

If I ask for a full refund,
my son misses out on an experience he has been looking forward to


Not expecting any solutions.

I know if I want we can get a full refund
Any suggestions as to what I say to him are welcome.

Thank you for your somewhat more measured response in your latest posting.

I've taken the liberty of having a bit of a play with your very first post - not because I want to snipe, but because I hope you can see just how it is that you are coming across negatively. I thought I'd read in one of your other posts that the explanation you were given was that the coach company had made some error with the booking somewhere - though I haven't gone through the posts forensically, so if that's not right, well I'm sorry that someone at the school didn't follow up and has made a mistake. Sadly, things like this do sometimes happen, and while regrettable, it looks to me as if the school is trying to do everything they reasonably can to sort it out. I don't see what else they can do in the circumstances, really.

If I believed you had been offered a full refund, it's because that's what you told me in your posting.

Finally, please look again at the amount of things that are about you, and the inconvenience to you, and the bit I've enlarged. I think you know, in your heart of hearts, what you should try to do now. It's still looking like option 1 of the two I've set out in my longer posting above.

Honestly, the teachers aren't demons. They go above and beyond when they offer trips. Believe it or not, they will most likely have worried themselves sick over things like this. You've made your point, presumably, when you met with the trip leader, and I think it still comes down to the same thing. If you want him to go, send him. If you don't feel you can trust them with him, or relax properly while he's away, don't send him. I don't think this is really about the refund, or lack of one, because when you wrote your first post, you understood that you would get one.

Cut the teachers (and yourself) a bit of slack, and when you know what it is that you really want, go with it.

mossstitchmama

I seem to have made a mistake. I assumed I was posting in a group of like minded people.

When people make their opening post to a forum such as this, I am guessing that they are stressed, confused, feeling negative and do not have anyone else around them who's opinion they can ask.

To pick apart something someone wrote when they are in a distressed confused state of mind and use it to belittle them is wrong. Shame on all you who have done so. One of my parents was a bully, liar and master manipulator and I had to run far away to escape.

Yes, I am very overprotective of my children. Did any of you stop for a second to think that there may be a very good reason why?

To those who took the time to post constructive or sympathetic posts, thank you for your kindness. Please keep on doing things that put a smile on another persons face. I firmly believe in random acts of kindness.

To the other posters, I just had my first real experience of on line bullying. Wow, just wow (as my 15yr old would say).

moomoomama27

mossstitchmama wrote: »

I seem to have made a mistake. I assumed I was posting in a group of like minded people.

When people make their opening post to a forum such as this, I am guessing that they are stressed, confused, feeling negative and do not have anyone else around them who's opinion they can ask.

To pick apart something someone wrote when they are in a distressed confused state of mind and use it to belittle them is wrong. Shame on all you who have done so. One of my parents was a bully, liar and master manipulator and I had to run far away to escape.

Yes, I am very overprotective of my children. Did any of you stop for a second to think that there may be a very good reason why?

To those who took the time to post constructive or sympathetic posts, thank you for your kindness. Please keep on doing things that put a smile on another persons face. I firmly believe in random acts of kindness.

To the other posters, I just had my first real experience of on line bullying. Wow, just wow (as my 15yr old would say).

You have not been bullied. You just don't like to read opinions that differ to yours! There's a big difference.

whodathunkit

mossstitchmama wrote: »

I seem to have made a mistake. I assumed I was posting in a group of like minded people.

When people make their opening post to a forum such as this, I am guessing that they are stressed, confused, feeling negative and do not have anyone else around them who's opinion they can ask.

To pick apart something someone wrote when they are in a distressed confused state of mind and use it to belittle them is wrong. Shame on all you who have done so. One of my parents was a bully, liar and master manipulator and I had to run far away to escape.

Yes, I am very overprotective of my children. Did any of you stop for a second to think that there may be a very good reason why?

To those who took the time to post constructive or sympathetic posts, thank you for your kindness. Please keep on doing things that put a smile on another persons face. I firmly believe in random acts of kindness.

To the other posters, I just had my first real experience of on line bullying. Wow, just wow (as my 15yr old would say).

Don't you just hate it when people post asking for opinions when really they only want to have their own validated.:(

globetraveller

Online bullying? The definition of bullying is not anything that disagrees with your viewpoint. Wow, just wow. Serious over reaction

mossstitchmama

moomoomama27 wrote: »

You have not been bullied. You just don't like to read opinions that differ to yours! There's a big difference.

I have absolutely no problem with other people's differing opinions, if we all thought and acted the same, the world would be a very boring place. I like hearing what others reasoned thinking produces, it makes me reconsider my own opinions. I am just objecting to the manner in which some of the posters here chose to express them.

As my counsellor used to say, do not try and reason with a bully, they do not respond to logic. Any response at all is what they are looking for. I have fallen into the trap again!