Sharing/conflict resolution at nursery school?

quidsy

notanewuser wrote: »

:huh: Where have I intimated that?

I was referring to your first few posts about how the kids in her group currently play & about not wanting her to be "forced" to share in full time nursery by having set time limits of how long she can use an object. Sharing, setting limits, being taught that sometimes they can't have what they want at all times & for as long as they want is important part learning. I understand why you want her "happy" at all times but this is unrealistic.

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

:huh:

Explain, please.

I presume they're referring to the history of ongoing problems with your husband and his family.

notanewuser

quidsy wrote: »

I was referring to your first few posts about how the kids in her group currently play & about not wanting her to be "forced" to share in full time nursery by having set time limits of how long she can use an object. Sharing, setting limits, being taught that sometimes they can't have what they want at all times & for as long as they want is important part learning. I understand why you want her "happy" at all times but this is unrealistic.

Not what I said AT ALL.

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

I presume they're referring to the history of ongoing problems with your husband and his family.

Why would anyone assume no action had been taken?

quidsy

notanewuser wrote: »

Not what I said AT ALL.

Well that IS how it was read by myself & several other people. I am not critising you for wanting to make sure your child is being raised well but you do need to be more realistic & less sensitive when hearing others take on it.

esmerelda98

notanewuser wrote: »

:huh:

Explain, please.

Lots of moans about your husband's family, especially your unhappiness with the lack of present buying for your daughter, but no decisive action or stance there. Lots of suggestions on how to go forward, but of course none of them were satisfactory, and the moans went on. There were also threads about visiting family which went much the same way, as far as I can remember. But foremost in my mind is the procrastination exhibited in regard to your baby niece who was apparently being neglected. I understand the reluctance to get Social Services involved, and yes, it probably would have been an explosive move, but with what you were describing you should have moved beyond those concerns by the time of posting.

By the way, I have a very busy day ahead of me and I'm not able to participate in the debate any further at this time. I will try to catch up with the thread tonight.

notanewuser

esmerelda98 wrote: »

Lots of moans about your husband's family, especially your unhappiness with the lack of present buying for your daughter, but no decisive action or stance there. Lots of suggestions on how to go forward, but of course none of them were satisfactory, and the moans went on. There were also threads about visiting family which went much the same way, as far as I can remember. But foremost in my mind is the procrastination exhibited in regard to your baby niece who was apparently being neglected. I understand the reluctance to get Social Services involved, and yes, it probably would have been an explosive move, but with what you were describing you should have moved beyond those concerns by the time of posting.

By the way, I have a very busy day ahead of me and I'm not able to participate in the debate any further at this time. I will try to catch up with the thread tonight.

Discussions were had re presents. We have an agreement to buy for 2 families and not for the other. Sorted.

Discussions were had re visiting. DH has been up there twice in the past 3 weeks. DD and I haven't gone, and we've explained very clearly why.

The situation with my nephew has moved on somewhat, lawyers are now involved on both sides, mediation is being attempted and baby's health visitor is now fully aware of all of the circumstances and is keeping an eye. It's not resolved by any means - I spend a lot of time supporting my BIL - but it's moving forward positively in my nephew's best interests.

lostinrates

quidsy wrote: »

his is call LIFE & by trying to micro manage everything your child sees, experinces, even her play times, will mean she will struggle in life. .

I don't have kids, but it am a micro manager, and I struggle in life when I let that aspect reign.

I don't think there is anything wrong with accepting our less positive traits along side our good ones. It lets us know where we have to guard against our selves for our interests and the interests of those around us. Micro managers often get the flip side of being hard workers, driven and having excellent attention to detail. Knowing when to say....good enough is good enough is a thing we have to learn. As a kick back against perfectionism I'm not trying to train out this aspect of myself, cos, ironically, it would be feeding into the micromanaging perfectionism! One cannot win with that one.

onlyroz

Well I've got as far as page 6 but...

My kids go to a "regular" state primary school. They have an assembly every day and I was told that they have a "daily thought", where they stop and think about people less fortunate than themselves. God is not specifically mentioned. All of this sounds fine.

My problem is that far too frequently the local vicar comes in and preaches to the kids, making them say prayers etc etc. In one assembly my daughter (at the time aged 4) was reduced to tears, along with some of her classmates, because the vicar told them that they were all going to die and be reborn in heaven. He gave them a detailed description of how Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected with a new body. My daughter left the assembly absolutely terrified that she, and everyone she knew, was about to die.

I have considered removing them from the assembly but decided against it because the exclusion could end up being more damaging than the indoctrination - but I have had discussions about how different people have different views on the "big" questions like creation, birth and death - and to not blindly accept what an adult says to them on these topics. My son is getting the idea - but it is hard for a young child to understand the difference between opinion and fact, especially when these opinions are being spouted out by a scary adult wearing a silly black dress.

My daughter, on the other hand, regularly now chimes up about Jesus, and about how God made her, and about how she's going to go to heaven when she dies - and I strongly object to how other adults have been able to influence her in this way with the full support of the law and the "establishment". My own choice would have been to teach her about religion from a cultural and historical perspective, enabling her to make up her mind in her own time about whether she believed or not. But that choice has virtually been taken away from me.

If you want to bring up your child in a particular religion then that's your choice, but I strongly hold the view that it should not be the place of a school to provide *any* form of religious instruction.

notanewuser

onlyroz wrote: »

Well I've got as far as page 6 but...

My kids go to a "regular" state primary school. They have an assembly every day and I was told that they have a "daily thought", where they stop and think about people less fortunate than themselves. God is not specifically mentioned. All of this sounds fine.

My problem is that far too frequently the local vicar comes in and preaches to the kids, making them say prayers etc etc. In one assembly my daughter (at the time aged 4) was reduced to tears, along with some of her classmates, because the vicar told them that they were all going to die and be reborn in heaven. He gave them a detailed description of how Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected with a new body. My daughter left the assembly absolutely terrified that she, and everyone she knew, was about to die.

I have considered removing them from the assembly but decided against it because the exclusion could end up being more damaging than the indoctrination - but I have had discussions about how different people have different views on the "big" questions like creation, birth and death - and to not blindly accept what an adult says to them on these topics. My son is getting the idea - but it is hard for a young child to understand the difference between opinion and fact, especially when these opinions are being spouted out by a scary adult wearing a silly black dress.

My daughter, on the other hand, regularly now chimes up about Jesus, and about how God made her, and about how she's going to go to heaven when she dies - and I strongly object to how other adults have been able to influence her in this way with the full support of the law and the "establishment". My own choice would have been to teach her about religion from a cultural and historical perspective, enabling her to make up her mind in her own time about whether she believed or not. But that choice has virtually been taken away from me.

If you want to bring up your child in a particular religion then that's your choice, but I strongly hold the view that it should not be the place of a school to provide *any* form of religious instruction.

Reading that has put me in a cold sweat. Would love to see whether any of the advocates of these practices in schools could give justification for them.

(I'm STILL waiting for someone to give a single benefit of it other than knowing when to stand/sit during the lord's prayer.)