Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

While I am sitting here with nothing to do waiting for my carer I thought I would give you the transcription I promised. Here are the voices, so far today. As always do not read if you are feeling anxious or easily triggered, it isn't very pleasant and there is bad language. Imagine two male voices, both quite deep and rough, one slightly deeper than the other. These voices are quite animated unlike the other which was monotone.

^


^


^ Last chance to look away



^

Voice 1- and she is a dirty stinky sl*t anyway
Voice 2- Piece of s**t
Voice 1- Can't wait to get the b*tch
Voice 2- Do her up proper
Voice 1- Be doing the world a favour
<They both laugh>
Voice 1- Not like anyone would miss her
Voice 2 <laughs>- B*itch has no friends
Voice 1- Waste of oxygen
Voice 2- Cut her open and throw her away
Voice 1- landfill
Voice 2- Yeah, out with the rubbish
Voice 1- If she won't do it we got to
Voice 2- No spine to even end it
Voice 1- Drain on society
Voice 2- People work to pay for that
Voice 1- F****ing crime
Voice 2- Take her out and do everyone a favour

After that it just repeats with slight changes.

lostinrates

Oh, so they are liars, those silly voices? You DO have friends. People WOULD miss you. Silly noisy things.

whitewing

And you do have friends. You have always had friends and now you have new friends.

I am intrigued by the voice 2 tenth line down. The rest of it seems to be the kind of insults you could hear on the TV or elsewhere even as a child, and absorb them unwittingly. The tenth line down seems more chillingly personal - did your mum say things like this to you?

I hope you realise that every single line of that transcript is complete and utter rubbish, WaS.

Re the TV, would a timer switch on it help for when your partner is not here?

Or would you recognise that you are becoming psychotic and turn it off in time? But you may forget, so what ideas could help you (just thinking this may help Duke and H too).

Solarjunkie

A very tentative suggestion - could you "own" the voices if you named them? I am thinking of really silly demeaning names, so it could be "Oh, there's Lord Sloppy Blancmange Feather Pants arguing with Major Tiny Wibbly Compost again!"

Oh, and you do have something to do while waiting for your carer - choose an item from the Cupboard that would sell well in a charity shop & benefit someone, instead of gathering dust. Give to carer when they arrive to deliver. Award yourself a WaS star! :wave:

whitewing

By the way, WaS, in case you haven't got around to visiting it yet, this is the hoarding thread

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4507949

I'm pretty sure nothing will trigger you on this. It is every bit as heartwarming as this one.

whitewing

Solarjunkie wrote: »

Oh, and you do have something to do while waiting for your carer - choose an item from the Cupboard that would sell well in a charity shop & benefit someone, instead of gathering dust. Give to carer when they arrive to deliver. Award yourself a WaS star! :wave:

You can also book your optician appointment.

Waves_and_Smiles

I sorted out a vase to give to my carer to drop off in the charity shop across the road (I am not abandoning it, am I? not making it sad?).

The voices are liars! They want me to feel alone, their goal is often to push me to suicide. MY mother did indeed say things like voice 2 did and wave knives at me as she was convinced that I was poisoning her food and wanted to kill me before I killed her.

I did have very uncomplimentary names for the voices a while back. That is a good idea to start using them again, if nothing else it used to make me laugh and give me a little bit of power over them.

whitewing

Well done on the vase. You are sending it out to the world so that someone else can have the pleasure of it at a bargain price and the charity makes some money.

elsien

You're not making your vase sad. You're making sure that it gets the chance to be filled with flowers to make another person happy, which is the purpose it was intended for.

Solarjunkie

The vase now gets to visit a new shop, be seen by various people, then taken home by one lucky person to be admired, or maybe given as a present. So, it has now taken another step on its life journey! You are enabling, not restricting. Yay WaS! :wave: