Just needed to be heard for a little while

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Thank you so much, I love the idea of sir Pugliet's travels! I used to write stories for a friends little boy and I loved it!

That really does help, LIR! Something like that is exactly what I need. Physio is around 11am 4 days a week and errr less regular the other days (no carer). I do need to adjust that because I really need it. I do like the idea of something creative, I used to do lots of things like that. My social worker said an activity only needs to last an hour or two twice a day, just something to give me structure everyday and give me different things to think about. She said mental and physical stimulation are of equal importance.

Ok so we need to plan it out and then you can make it in to a pretty and colourful time table and put it one the wall.

Now, here is something VITAL to remember.....

Listening?

.....ready?


...............


If it goes wrong on one day, maybe you aren't well or those no nothing voices are bleating on a out something they know about about or you are having a bad day or maybe you just get out of kilter

ITS ok.

BUT, I think your sw is right. Routine is really helpful. I have a few acquaintances who have little or no routine and regardless of health I can see that it is not conducive to ordinary vitality. Lots of our body systems have a routine dependant on things like daylight and sleep etc, so a little routine helps us help them.


Filling your days too much will be overwhelming IMO, but having stuff to do and feeling things aren't getting on top of you will be good.

Do you and WASp share household chores? If so do you both do both or do you have was and wasp jobs? Can they be scheduled? For example. I think of Monday as my with out fail deep clean the utility sink day. Why? Its always been abused over the weekend,the bins go out on Sunday night, for a collection of one sort on Monday, and if my utility room is in order I feel I can most importantly function. ( dogs fed, laundry etc happens in there)

Then tues day is my general tidy through down stairs day now, as Wednesdays is when cleaners come, so they have to find a clutter free, tidy area. Wednesday is the upstairs part of the house, the back landing and the bathroom that I clean and my bedroom, and Thursday is the back of the house ( that cleaners also don't do) and Friday is a run through.

In summer I add a few hours lawn cutting so e gardening and several hours yard work and fir and I garden and do field work most weekends year round.

So that's my practical element.


Physical.....my most is taken up by the above. ( and beyond tbh). I do my home physio twice a day , er, if I'm being good, and my tens twice a day, morning and evening. This takes about an hour. I can usually doze of during my twitching tens,


Creative, this is the part that suffers here ATM, because my cup run eth over with sleeping. . I'm going to put this as a resolution maybe.

Waves_and_Smiles

If I want to really make the effort (which I should), I should have physio in the mornings which I need someone to help with because I am not allowed to move any body parts myself and then do another 15 minutes physio in the evening for my neck which I can do myself. I fail miserably at keeping this up because it hurts but I really do need to do it.

We have separate housework and together housework. WaSp does anything that needs standing such as vacuuming or washing dishes. I do the dusting, put all of our documents in a safe place in order/shred them, do the online shopping and am in charge of the bathroom. The latter gets done in stages over 2-3 days, bath one day, tiles and handbasin, toilet, etc. WaSp does a lot of the cooking but I can cook with him as long as he is there to lift heavy pans and make sure I don't have a memory lapse. WaSp deals with general laundry, I handwash the delicate things and put everything away. Neither of us remember what an iron is. My carer makes the bed 4 days a week, I do for the other 3 but WaSp does the bedding changes because I can't bend and stretch.

If I have a bad day then I will skip an activity or two, I am not expecting to manage it every day especially if my memory is confused. But considering I have no routine at all right now I agree that a little bit could help me and stop every day blending into another.

In really sweet news Milliefleur gave WaSp a gift for me to bring home from the hospital to thank me for being there for her. It is a tin of Christmas biscuits but also a music box. You wind it up and Santa and his reindeer spin around it to the tune of Winter Wonderland. I am guessing her sister got that for her, I can't imagine BIL managing to buy something like that! What made it so sweet also was that she insisted on writing a card for me herself, she signed it "your mum".

ETA: Eeeek, they are Fortnum and Mason's biscuits! I will never bring myself to eat them! I have never had anything from there in my life.

Errata

ETA: Eeeek, they are Fortnum and Mason's biscuits! I will never bring myself to eat them! I have never had anything from there in my life.

You have now, eat and enjoy!

lostinrates

Eat the biscuits.

They don't get any better for keeping.


Now wasp is less divided maybe he can take over the daily bed making.

You getting more routine will be helpful for him probably .



Could you afford a white board? I used to have my routine on a white board so I could tick it off every day. Even things like brushing my teeth. It really helped.

Sadly we got rid of it when we moved.

Waves_and_Smiles

A whiteboard is a really good idea, I shall get one this week. It will also solve the problem of the blank wall in the bedroom. I have a problem with blank walls, they make me uneasy. The living room has flower prints.

I also thoroughly clean the kitchen sink which is about the only standing job I do. I enjoy it because coffee and tea often stain it and I love polishing it back to its shiny self. I also clean the cooker hob unless something has boiled over and WaSp does the oven.

The biscuits are making my usual Smartprice Custard Creams look embarrassing! She shouldn't have spent that much, with a musical box attached as well they probably cost her fortune! She spoils me, a card was more than enough especially as she wrote it herself.

Pyxis

Wahay!WaS! You've got a new Christmas avatar! Nice one!
Clocks! Clocks!

Fortnam and Mason biscuits! Oh wow! (How the other half live!:D )


Code! I was going to say that too! I.e. That maybe the new line manager was desperate to get you!

Elsien! :T

Oldestgnome! Sea lions! I've got a verdant visage at the very thought!
Love the trekmobile!
What is this holiday firm that arranges 6-month holidays? I've never heard of such a thing!


Popec5, just think of what you've achieved! Several years in a foreign country, new language/currency/customs, and then working too! I balk at the idea of of moving countries and working there as well! I really admire people who can do that. And on top of that, coping with depression and all the difficulties that brings!
You really should congratulate yourself, you know.

Popec5

lostinrates wrote: »

Moving countries can be isolating. Although its good to make friends in the community of the new country it might be an idea to try and find friends from 'home' here to try and start building your social network. Would that appeal to you? Language specific book shops used to be good in London, my guess is that kindle and amazon cut down the need for those . But Food speciality shops ( depending where you are from) might be a place to make contacts, or restaurants......Dh is now chums with the people at the local pizzeria.

lostinrates, great ideas, although for me it doesn't matter who the friend will be or from where, as long as they are act friendly. I just don't know how to make friends with my non existent self confidence.
Restaurants/food is out of question as I have food allergy and eating disorder
This workplace just gave me so much pain again, even though I am considered the "key of the team" (my boss said). I wanted to socialize, but many people didn't with me and it didn't raise my self esteem.
I want to change, but don't want to be like them, uncaring, not honest, if that what it takes to have friends here at work, then I am better off alone.

Popec5

oldestgnome, elsien, thank you for the warm welcome
oldestgnome - enjoy every moment!
elsien - well done and good luck with your new job!
Waves and Smiles - I found helpful my wii games - wii fit is perfect, relaxing, fun, when I found the strength to start it never disappoints me

Pyxis

lostinrates

Popec5 wrote: »

lostinrates, great ideas, although for me it doesn't matter who the friend will be or from where, as long as they are act friendly. I just don't know how to make friends with my non existent self confidence.
Restaurants/food is out of question as I have food allergy and eating disorder
This workplace just gave me so much pain again, even though I am considered the "key of the team" (my boss said). I wanted to socialize, but many people didn't with me and it didn't raise my self esteem.
I want to change, but don't want to be like them, uncaring, not honest, if that what it takes to have friends here at work, then I am better off alone.

You don't have to eat to check out food shops if your 'home' cuisine is different, but you really should get help with your eating disorder for your health ( of all kinds) .

Here is a possibility. If your eating disorder is reflected in your outward image, people might be scared for you which might make them fearful of becoming close to you. People are quite emotionally self protective, which seems very selfish, but then...I guess everybody feels full of their own issues.


Re honesty.

Some friends and I ( met via this forum btw) had lunch this weekend, and were talking about honesty and some of us were suggesting to one of our number that not giving all information was not necessarily not being dishonest, but infact might even be too much for the recipient to effectively process.


I never tell someone an opinion I don't believe in, but I have learnt that my opinion is very often worthless to someone at the wrong time.

Its not a rejection of me to reject my opinion, and telling people the truth as we see it at the wrong time can be a rejection of them. Sometimes silence or changing the subject is more useful!


Any way, sometimes its just as well to just be friendly , rather than 'friends' with work mates. Keeps things running smoothly.


Who else do you know outside work? Who did you lend you card to for example?


OMGoodness, look at the time, I better think about some sleep!