Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

millefleur is very different to your mother, WaS, and social services are much improved as to how they used to be (of course, there have always been some very caring people in SS but I think nowadays more people get input into the decisions and views get heard, within reason).

Waves_and_Smiles

That is very true, whitewing. I am squashing my own triggers down right now, I can't share them with WaSp, it will make him feel worse! This is the only place where I can say that it feels like history repeating itself in some ways, although this is a very different circumstance and Millielfeur is able to make her own decisions which my mother couldn't.

I just cannot afford to get ill right now, especially now my social worker is involved. We have already broken my care plan, it is pretty important that I give a good impression. I shall wait until Milliefleur is home and everything is a little more stable and then have a very quiet scream into a pillow, I think.

How is everyone else? Tell me something unrelated! Or hit me over the head with hammer to stop my thoughts cycling. One or the other works...

whitewing

I think you are right to speak to your social worker about everything. WaSp has far too much to contend with.

When I had postnatal depression, it was more helpful to talk things through with my health visitor than DH as I was also worried about DH, as well as feeling guilty that he didn't have a wife who was a natural mothering soul. Yes, it felt risky, as we too had been brought up that the authorities weren't to be trusted etc etc and that feeling is hard to overcome. But - touch wood - they have been sensible and a great support without allowing themselves to get too close professionally.

Waves_and_Smiles

OH, totally. The last thing WaSp needs to hear is stories about what happened to my mother right now. The poor man is guilt-ridden as it is. I shall chuck WaSp out for some of the appointment tomorrow and talk to my social alone for a while. She is a really lovely person (think bubbly and cute) and will happily listen to me whine.

Oh, WaSp has BIL on the phone whining on the one hand about how social services are ignoring him and on the other about how Milliefleur's sister is shouting at him. In a slightly mean way WaSp is a little amused (and so am I).

Pyxis

whitewing wrote: »

WaS, I know this is all hugely stressful for you and WaSp. Try to remember that most of the stress and anxiety on your thread (for all of us; not your situation alone. ) is from what may or what may not happen. The actual outcome of decisions has always had as many, if not more, plus points as it has negative ones.

Pertinently put, Whitewing!

WaS, it is so difficult when you can see what it the very best outcome for all involved, but when the decision-making has to be by someone else who cannot see those positive outcomes.

The good thing now, is that SS are aware of the situation and will not let things revert to how they were, for MiL's sake, for your sake, and for WaSp's too! The only person who will lose out from this is BIL.

All you can do is be the voice of reason and put SS in the picture as much as you can, allowing for promises to MiL, so that they have all the facts, particularly the facts about BIL. WaSp is torn with loyalties to MiL and BIL as a sibling and because he doesn't want to hurt MiL, so your voice of reason and relative detachment will be invaluable.

And that's all you can do. Time for a square of chocolate and a cuppa!



Ps. History is not, repeat not repeating itself! How could it be! You and MiL have a lovely relationship! She loves you and you love her! In fact, from what you've told us about her, I think I love her too!:)

Pyxis

Too much turkey dinner, perhaps?

Waves_and_Smiles

I am bring saved by my hamper. I have my toys and my fairies, I am covered in lovely creams (much to WaSp's continued horror), I have wonderful coffee and yummy chocolates. These things are a huge comfort right now. I just mustn't become ill, I have to hold this together at least for another week.

Awww, adorable! I want them all! I could never choose just one.

Pyxis

how many seconds will it take before kerplunk!! and the penny drops?!

Pyxis

Nosey? Who, me?

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahaha! these are cheering me up no end!