Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

My new-to-the-town GP is great, so I would definitely recommend you at least ask the GP first. If you feel that you slightly don't agree with the GP, you could ask MIND for a second opinion. How long have you been on the anti-d's, LIR? You may find increasing the dose slightly after consulting with the GP makes you less tired/fatigued. I am changing my type at the moment, and feeling better as it steps up.

I never imagined you with curly hair. It sounds lovely. I guess it will be a lot lighter is you have a chunk cut off, so what you lose in length, you may gain in body bounceability! You trust your hairdresser, right, or you wouldn't be going. Of course, it's a change and it's sad, but there will be lots to like about the new style.

Hope you are okay, WaS. I decided your bridal gown surfing could have been because you have decided to swap the 'blanket-over-the-head' look for a full blown bridal gown and veil. I can just imagine your next case conference with your glamorous new look. (I am teasing you kindly),

haybel19

Hope you ok WaS.

Waves_and_Smiles

I am speechless...and very, very red! I can't believe how kind everyone here is, I really don't have any words other than thank you. Thank you all so very, very much. This means so much to me (and I didn't peep at the white bit!).

LIR, for most people unless you are weird like me anti-depressants are supposed to decrease tiredness so don't worry about that. I have always been told to take mine in the morning as they will wake me up, I take them at night because I am very drowsy within 20 minutes of having one. I am weird though, so you should be fine on them. That is so wonderful that are working so well, I am so glad that you found the right one first time, it's rare! I have always been told an anti-depressant course lasts for 6 months minimum to make sure any imbalance is rectified but do ask your GP as it might be different for you.

I do know how you feel about your hair. I have fine hair, but there is an awful lot of it and it is in waves down my back. I have bits cut shorter underneath it because I am rubbish at looking after it. Unless prompted I can go days without brushing it and it knots terribly into big matts. A year ago I had enough of it and cut it myself up to my shoulders and it was much easier but it's long again now. The problem is, I am attached to it...

Ha! whitewing! You made me laugh! I am now picturing myself turning up to appointments in full bridal wear complete with a bouquet. The amusing thing is with my mental health problems my doctors would probably accept it and try to gently and awkwardly ask why. I am almost tempted!

I had another 17 hour sleep. I have no idea why this happens around once a week. It could be the medication but it could also be the autoimmune disorders, they all have fatigue as a symptom. I honestly just can't wake up, if I sit in a chair I fall asleep, same for the shower, it is impossible to stay awake. Now I am all confused and feel like I lost a day. I need coffee... yes, I love it here so much I read before even getting my morning coffee!

whitewing

It could actually be the thread itself, giving you new or reinforced perspectives on things. Personally, I think MSE is very healing (on certain threads, at least). I guess your brain needs time to process it all. Probably easier to do when no one is yapping in the background!

Waves_and_Smiles

This is very true, whitewing. My sleepiness isn't helped by the fact that I really like sleeping. I have no physical or mental illnesses in my dreams and I can go outside. Also, there are no voices! It is the only time that I am free of them. I do have some bad nightmares but being free of illness makes up for that. It is like having a little holiday from everything.

Today's mutterings seem to be about my mother, I am not listening too closely yet but I will transcribe what they are saying later. I am catching "She killed them all and walked away without a care" so I can guess what that is about.

whitewing

I only have bad dreams if I get too hot (eg if I am snuggled in a blanket covering my head).

Are your nightmares similar, or are they to do with prescribed drugs or mh issues?

(I think I read somewhere that seeing people who go blind can get bad nightmares, or was it daymares?)

Waves_and_Smiles

Most of my nightmares are linked to PTSD, a lot of distorted flashbacks to my past. Also, the more therapy you have, the more vivid your dreams become. I had a type of therapy to teach me how to lucid dream so that I can attempt to control what happens in them. It is 50/50 whether it works, but better than nothing. I still have my train dream and travelling through walls dream a few times a week.

whitewing

Are you having therapy at the moment, or just prescribed medication?

When was the last time you had therapy?

What are the plans for the rest of the year?

lostinrates

I lucid dream WaS.

DH is very interested in dreams and cheese ( sigh). He self experiments with cheese and his dreams. And he also involves one of our cats. It started with a mutual interest they have in cheese and determining her favourites ( Brie usually) , but then he decided she was having more active dreams after cheese so he started trying to be more aware of that.

Sigh, loving roll of eyes.

Hair done. We settled at a few inches because it might make all the difference. If not in can be more drastic later.

Waves_and_Smiles

No, I don't have therapy now for a couple of reasons. When we agreed to go to a maintenance plan we decided to stop all long-term therapy. If something comes up then we may choose to opt for short-term counselling but anything more indepth is a huge trigger to the various conditions so is best avoided.

Also I have had just about every type of therapy there is already. Psychotherapy, psycho analysis, psycho-dynamic psychotherapy, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, CBT, EMDR, hypnotherapy and that's just the ones that I can remember. I also had these for years, 9 years for psychotherapy and 5 years for CBT. Coupled with the fact that I am a psychologist so I know most of the techniques there isn't much more therapy can do. My last therapist said that really, it was pointless seeing her as it was like looking in a mirror. I knew exactly what she was doing and was able to analyse myself so there wasn't much else to offer me.

The plan for the rest of the year is my physical health. I need to get my Lupus under control and also find out what is going on with my thyroid disease. My thyroid levels have dropped at every 3 month test and it shouldn't be dropping that fast. It means that as soon as they increase the medication a week later it isn't enough again so all of the symptoms come back. My Endocrinologist is confused and thinks there is possibly something else going on that is triggering it that we haven't discovered yet. It has got to such a point of desperation that he asked if I had come into contact with anyone who had a tropical disease! Also when my thyroid disease is bad it triggers my Addisons Disease which then needs higher medication so we are going around in circles. I also have way too many white blood cells, now this usually means an infection but I have been on every antibiotic under the sun and the tests remain the same. They have no idea what is going on there, there could be an underlying infection somewhere that is triggering everything but we don't know what or where it is! There was a scary moment where they thought it could be leukaemia but thankfully the tests came back clear. So now my doctors are looking at rare disorders.

In general life I have a plan. I want to go out for one day this year to a deserted beach. Now, this might be at 3am in the morning but I am determined to manage it just once. I miss being outside and I miss the sea. To me this is the equivalent of planning a 3 week holiday abroad. We will see how I do...

Hahaha, that's so cute LIR! I should start experimenting with cheese! I am glad you kept the length, I cried after I cut mine to shoulder length. Like you say my hair is about all I have left that I think looks attractive.