Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

haybel, please don't think I am rude but do you play with your LO much? I spent loads of time with Littlewing but left the playing and chatting to others who were better suited. After the intervention of the hv, I did play with her and she started to talk properly. It became an issue because it was frustrating her to not be able to communicate properly so she began to get angry and go to bite me or headbutt (not badly but the signs were there). I also found the makaton signs helped as they are so visual.

That said, littlewing does observe closely and tends not to actually do anything until she is sure of what she is doing.

Solarjunkie

Morning all - here is another Recovery Letter

From Andrew

Dear You,
You probably don't know me. Chances are, we'll never meet in person. I'm just an anonymous person, writing a letter through a computer screen. I'll never know your likes and dislikes, what you do for a living, which sports teams you support or anything like that. But if you are reading this, then the likelihood is that you have been diagnosed with depression, and that is something I know a lot about.
I know how lonely you feel right now. I know how scared you are, how confusing everything seems, how lost you feel. I know that not a lot makes sense right now. I know that part of you is angry, both at the illness and possibly at yourself. I've had all the same thoughts.
I'm not going to rattle off a massive speech telling you how to get better. Everyone's illness is different, it affects them differently. I'm not going to tell you to get medication. I have had both good and bad experiences of medication, and whether you take it is a decision only you can make. I'm not going to sugar-coat what you may go through. It will be hard at times, damn hard. Sometimes you will feel like you just want to give up. On some days, you may feel unable to get out of bed. Maybe you'll feel like it is all too much, and that you can't cope with the illness. I get days like that, even now.
If you had the flu, you'd go to the doctors. Please remember that depression is just another illness, albeit a much scarier one. That may seem obvious, but to many people it isn't. It isn't a mood, you aren't going to "snap out of it". It could take a long time to get better. You will have bad days. You may start to get better, and then regress. But you can overcome this. I promise you that.

If there's one thing you need to know, it's this: you are NOT alone. You are never alone. I know you feel alone, but that's the illness making you feel that. The truth is, there are millions of us, all suffering through the same illness. It's just, the nature of the illness makes us scared to talk about it. I understand why you feel you can't. I know you are scared of being judged. I know you are scared of people treating you differently. That's understandable.

However, the internet is a wonderful thing. You can contact so many people who know exactly what you are going through. My email is andrew_lawes@hotmail.com, you can contact me at any time. I'm not going to judge you. However bad you feel your thoughts are, I won't judge you. Because I know all too well how devastating it can be.

I'm just one person, but there are so many more who will talk to you. But you have to let them know what you are going through. You can't try and deal with it alone, because it can sometimes be just too hard. You have to get help. Whether that's from a doctor, from a therapist, or from talking to someone like me through email, that's up to you. But don't try and fight it alone.

Please, don't be scared to get support from people. Don't let the illness make you feel ashamed, or embarrassed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're not a freak, or a drama queen, or a weirdo. You're just unwell.

You CAN get through this. You are not alone. So many people are desperate to help you. Let them.

I believe you can get through this. I believe in you.

Take care,

Andrew Lawes x

Here is a link to Andrew's blog

dibuzz

whitewing wrote: »

I realised that I had forgotten to take my anti-d this morning, which probably explains the fluctuations today. Now that I am feeling better, this is getting to be a tiny problem with my anti-d now that I take a morning one. I hardly ever forgot the night time one. However this morning type spreads the dose out over the day so does seem to work better.I have mostly the same routine in the morning. I take it with food and it isn't that I am skipping the food, it is that I feel all right and don't notice the packet.

Can't set a reminder on my phone as I keep misplacing that.

I have the same problem and have forgotten it a couple of times.
I do different things on different days and its often a spur of the moment decision to do something so it's not easy to remember.
I have had to make a determined effort to eat in a morning as it needs to be taken with food but still forget sometimes.

One thing I have done recently is cut one off the strip and keep it in my bag then if I do go out without taking it I can have it when I'm out.
I did find it easier to take at night.

codemonkey

I have the same problem with my meds whitewing. I need to take them morning and night and if I forget, I could have seizures. Unfortunately one side effect is giving me the short term memory of a slow goldfish so I often forget if I've taken them or not. Maybe you could write a reminder somewhere you can see it? I have a post it on the mirror I use to do my hair.

On a related note, I have an appointment with horrible doctor today. Last time I saw her, I mentioned weight gain as a side effect of my meds and she said "A lot of fat people blame their medication. Its not a side effect". So I pointed it out on the list of side effects and she said "weight loss is also a side effect", like they cancel each other out. That was 4 different medications ago.

codemonkey

Who wants to see my latest creation?

elsien

Me please.



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codemonkey

Not working from my phone. Will have to get on the laptop.

elsien

How did it go with horrible doctor, have you been yet? Could you find a different more human one?

codemonkey

It was ok. Stayed away from the weight issue so it was quite civil. My surgery you have to phone in the morning and they seem to have a lot of locum doctors atm.

whitewing

Our surgery only has locums as far as I have discovered. They are exceptionally good though.