Just needed to be heard for a little while

oystercatcher

I was going to suggest e-mailing SIL, writing is just as good, whichever is easier. Either will give you time to think about what to say and also gives SIL time to consider the issues.

I failed my last ESA medical and didn't have the mental energy to fight for it. They changed the rules anyway just after this . It's a horrible situation to be in and now the rules are changing again with all the changes to the PIP system. At least Husband can work so we manage. It's so confusing to be told to go and get a job when you know you can't cope with it physically or emotionally.
The whole system needs sorting out..
I hope there's a way SIL and SILP can manage better. One look at the Disabled board shows how people are struggling.

Anyway, enough grumbling. I managed to do some sewing this afternoon which has cheered me up, I've not felt up to sewing for ages . Husbands niece is expecting so I am playing with all my childrens fabrics to make a patchwork cot throw/playmat. So far I have included three types of zoo animal fabric and am working out how to cut the teddy fabric without beheading too many bears :eek: I think I need to space it all out with some plain colours or it will be too busy.

oystercatcher

Feeling loved is so important, so glad MIL made you feel that way .
You deserve love and happiness WaS .

Waves_and_Smiles

Aww, thank you oyster. I hope that she realises how much I love her too, I made sure that I told her that I did. Your sewing sounds adorable!

So sorry to hear that you failed your medical, too. I am scratching my head at how SIL failed. She can only walk with a zimmer frame and has very little use of her hands, plus she has emphysema and gets out of breath so quickly. SIL is very much in the frame of mind that authority shouldn't be challenged so she won't appeal which is a huge worry for MIL. She is 59 now and MIL said that she is very concerned about what will happen to her when she isn't here anymore to help them out financially. SIL's advisor at DWP told her that they wouldn't be able to find her work and advised to appeal, she has decided that no means no though. I really would like to try and help if I can.

On a more cheerful note we just tried out the chopper attachment on the food processor and I can use it so easily! It has a cone shape lid which you attach to the blades with a huge red button and you just press it down on top and off it goes! It is so much easier for me to use than an ordinary processor, no pain in my arms and fingers at all! I will still need WaSp with me if I use it but I might be able to do some cooking now, I am excited! Thank you MIL!

Pyxis

Have just caught up with the thread, and am SO pleased you got to go to MiL! How wonderful for you both! And how lovely that you were able to show each other all the affection you were feeling! I bet it was MiL's best birthday ever!
And you DO deserve to be shown love, WaS! You must believe that now that you know how much MiL loves you! She wouldn't sit and pat your hand if she didn't!

Who would have thought it, just a few weeks ago, when you were worried and scared, that you would be going to the seaside and visiting MiL for her birthday! Wow! Psychologist, eat your heart out!

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you, Pyxis. I really am so glad that I went and she truly did make me feel loved, I think we had the longest hug in the history of hugs! It was funny that she kept trying to give me things, at one stage she asked if there was anything from her home that I wanted! I love the charm bracelet. It is very old silver with all different charms hanging from it, including old coins and an old pound note folded into a little silver case. It is lovely having something that meant so much to her, I shall keep it forever. She hasn't changed at all mentally, she still tells WaSp off as if he is a little boy and has an amazing sense of humour. She is just such a thoroughly kind and amazing person.

I also realise how lucky I have been to have such a loving relationship with her, I know a lot of people have difficulties in their relationships with their in-laws. We have never had a cross word and have always been very close. Thinking about it, we became close when I told her about my relationship with my family, I still remember she gave me a hug and told me that I could talk to her anytime I wanted. Then she really started doing everything she could for me and has done ever since. I still can't imagine her being mean to WaSp's other partners and wife although she has told me that she didn't like them. I am so glad she felt able to love me.

I am rather proud of myself. The accomplishments I make are tiny by most people standards but huge to me. This was definitely one of my better ones.

dibuzz

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I am rather proud of myself. The accomplishments I make are tiny by most people standards but huge to me. This was definitely one of my better ones.

And so you should be, I don't think they are small accomplishments at all.
Well done

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you, dibuzz. I am still excited like a little child that I managed it, it was such a nice day for all three of us. At one stage WaSp stood in the middle of us and put his arms around both our shoulders, I think it meant a lot to him, too.

Pyxis

No, they're not tiny, they're huge!

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you for saying that, they are huge for me at least. I really want to try and visit at Christmas now but if I can't at least I managed this time. MIL also kept referring to me as "My <my name>" which just made me want to hug her every time.

whitewing

Aw, our WaS, I keep thinking of you thinking of MIL's hug and MIL thinking of your hug, and I guess WaSp is feeling better today than he has in a long time at his two delightful ladies. Seeing people you love, loving each other is such a pleasure.