Just needed to be heard for a little while

codemonkey

Whoops. Hope I didn't kill the thread.

Waves_and_Smiles

Not at all Code, of course you didn't! You started an interesting discussion, thank you! No need to worry! Have a hug.

I was a drama queen as a teenager, largely due to Borderline Personality Disorder. I would career from one drama to another, constantly keeping everything in a state of panic, and yes I admit I was manipulative. I remember being really upset and hurt when my therapist first pointed this out, but after a couple more years of therapy I saw it for myself and agreed with her. I would say it took until I was 25 to completely get a grip on it and for me to become consciously aware that I was purposefully causing drama, once I could do that I realised that I had other choices. It is still a little hard for me to talk about because looking back I am quite embarrassed by it but at the time it wasn't conscious at all. In my case the reason why was I wouldn't admit to why I was hurting so I would 'create' situations to receive support from others to try to ease my pain. Of course it never did because I was hiding from what was really wrong, I had to confront that before I could fully stop the drama. I won't say that I still don't lean towards it (I catastrophise terribly which doesn't help) but I can usually give myself a choice of whether to follow that path or not these days. Something I have learned is never to react to anything that upsets me at the time, at the least sleep on it first. My initial reaction is often dramatic panic but if I wait I am often far calmer, sometimes with a totally opposite viewpoint to my first. It is the difference between reacting while triggered by BPD or reacting from outside of it. It took me a lot of years to learn how to do that though.

That aside the teenage years are dramatic. Most teenagers without BPD do a good line in dramatic flounces. Sometimes it's over something silly to an adult but huge to them, all part of growing up. I wouldn't go back to my teenage years for anything, even if it wasn't so horrible. Everything feels like the end of the world when something goes wrong and you are struggling between wanting the comfort as a child and wanted independence as an adult. Having said that I adore teenagers, I love their sense of justice and energy and oddly I almost always have a good relationship with them and love talking to them. I find their struggle to fight back against authority and stand on their own two feet quite heroic even if it is often misguided.

I also know some dramatic adults who I try to avoid because believe it or not I hate drama now. It makes me scared and then I start panicking because it triggers my BDP. Then we both panic and become dramatic, not good..

Have a good weekend everyone going away! (that is away for the weekend, not going away for good. Don't leave meeeeeeee)

Hope the mouth isn't too painful, JM!

Good wishes to DD, whitewing. Now I want Maltesers.

I have painful electric shocks running down my face and making me screw my cheek up again. I wish I knew what this was...

Pyxis

Won't leave yooooooooooooooo, WaS!!!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahaha! Good. Otherwise I will have to go on a Team WaS hunting expedition and that would be creepy.

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hahahahaha! Good. Otherwise I will have to go on a Team WaS hunting expedition and that would be creepy.

Especially if that green stuff is making your eyes glow!

Heh! You could go outside tomorrow evening! Just put on a Halloween mask etc, and pretend you're going to a party! No-one would bat an eyelid! (Bat an eyelid- haha!:rotfl: )

Or put a sheet over your head and pretend to be a ghost! You could go to town!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahaha! I never thought of that! It is probably the one night that I could run around happily under my blanket and I might even get sweeties for it! On that note WaSp and I are staring at our pumpkin, neither of us knows quite what to do with it. I have told WaSp carving is his job!

codemonkey

Pyxis wrote: »

Especially if that green stuff is making your eyes glow!

Heh! You could go outside tomorrow evening! Just put on a Halloween mask etc, and pretend you're going to a party! No-one would bat an eyelid! (Bat an eyelid- haha!:rotfl: )

Or put a sheet over your head and pretend to be a ghost! You could go to town!

Or a blanket over your head with a pumpkin under your arm, like a headless person. As long as Sir Pugliet gets a costume too.

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, of course! He has to match me! He has taken to hiding from me, incidentally. Somehow when I am not in the room he scampers off and ends up in odd places like behind the TV and in the fridge! WaSp gets bored...

Pyxis

Who's he been emailing lately?:D

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! Sir P is too busy hiding! He ended up in the fruit bowl this morning. Sometimes I only pop to the bathroom and he's gone missing by the time I get back. He also has a habit of turning up on my pillow when I wake up...