Just needed to be heard for a little while

geminilady

codemonkey wrote: »

Hmmm, they'll probably waste a lot of time on teenage drama queens and those people that post those kind of messages on facebook for attention.

Drama queen: so sad and alone.
Friend 1: whats up hunni
Drama queen: I'll PM you.

However, even if it helps one person its probably worth it.

I thought this was a little harsh to the "Drama queen" their problem is as real and important as any you or I may have and am sure the people who give their services won't think they are wasting their time.Also I believe people who post those kind of messages on facebook don't want attention as such but someone to care.

whitewing

I think it is a step in the right direction, but there will be some refining to do to stop them being overwhelmed.

I don't use twitter, but there are certainly posts on MSE that I have posted that I can now look back on and see that I needed help at that time. However, I wouldn't want 'everyone' on the thread to be alerted that I may be in trouble. I tend to withdraw a lot and therefore having a number of people contact me with good intentions would potentially scare me.

I also wonder if the app would start to normalise it being a depressing old world, which is what I think when I am not so good. I almost search/surf to back up my point of view, although this is mostly done as a driving need to understand what is happening to me.

Anyway, I am up as DD had a coughing fit, which resulted in her being sick over her own bed, herself and then all over our bed too. So everything has been stripped and is in the washing machine.

She has been getting better though, and at least it's half term so she can chill out.

Pyxis

10-page repost of the etiquette thread.

Pyxis wrote: »

.........:starmod:......................................................................:starmod:.....................
Here is the suggested THREAD ETIQUETTE. By following this etiquette, all posters, whether new or existing, will feel safe, unpressured and respected..

- This is a thread for support. We have discovered some good friends on here, but we promise always to welcome and include new people, and not to be cliquey.

- People may make suggestions to help each other, and might even ask if the suggestions were helpful or have been carried out, but we'll really try not to nag each other or put too much pressure on.

- The normal board rules about sexism, racism, homophobia etc. apply, but if we are careful we should be able to discuss almost anything without breaching board rules - so far we have discussed subjects ranging from child abuse to incontinence!

-If someone thinks that too much pressure is being applied, they can post the trigger word PENGUIN and flag up the fact that they believe there's a potential for someone feeling too nagged to do something. ANYONE could post PENGUIN if they felt there was a danger that suggestions were being enforced too much.


- If you think something might be a PENGUIN, please post something like the green bit which follows.

"I would like to discuss something to do with [insert subject here], but I am concerned that this might be a trigger for some people. Is everyone OK if I post about that?"

Then LEAVE IT for at least an hour to allow people to respond. Then, when you post, repost the word PENGUIN above the discussion. Then post the penguiny bit in white! And the phrase END OF PENGUIN when you have finished.

It will look like this. You will be able to see the white text if you highlight it or if you quote it (so please don't quote a penguin!)

PENGUIN

This is a penguin. A nasty, crotch biting penguin (CBT).
It isn't really, you can look. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozGTv0hxhpc[/url]
END OF PENGUIN




IMPORTANT: It has been ascertained that some posters to this thread have found that there are certain subjects which act as triggers, precipitating a worsening of their condition.
To protect these posters, you are respectfully requested NOT to discuss these subjects on this thread:-

Religion. (Please note: it is recognised that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and we respect those beliefs. It is only because of the fact that religion does act as a trigger for some posters, that we exclude it from discussion.)
N.B. Please don't even mention the name of the religion.

The afterlife. The reason for this is explained in this thread by one poster, and there will be others for whom this is a trigger.

We ask and thank you for your co-operation in this matter.


.........:starmod:.....................................................................:starmod:................

It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.

- More suggestions please.............We stress that we are suggesting that we AGREE some Thread Etiquette to HELP people who might feel anxious about posting, we are not trying to IMPOSE rules, just relating this to facilitating groups, so that people feel safe and able to participate as fully as they can.

Pyxis

Just in case I forget to do this later, I'm off to deepest Yorkshire for the weekend, and don't know how much time I'll have for surfing, etc., or even whether I'll be able to, so don't worry if I disappear until Monday!

elsien

Me too - Yorkshire that is, to a luddite relative with no wifi. And I've been told that due to me buying the kids nerf water guns, I have to take a change of clothes as I'm the one officially responsible for playing forts erc. I don't remember consequences for presents part of the auntie job description - someone's changed the rules.

codemonkey

geminilady wrote: »

I thought this was a little harsh to the "Drama queen" their problem is as real and important as any you or I may have and am sure the people who give their services won't think they are wasting their time.Also I believe people who post those kind of messages on facebook don't want attention as such but someone to care.

I don't mean to be harsh. I usually do try to help if someone is upset or worried. But I do know people who post this kind of status and when you check if they're ok, it turns out they just wanted to see how many people would answer. Which is ok the first couple of times for reassurance (I get it) and so on but after that, its a bit annoying. Its also a bit dangerous I think because it creates a boy who cried wolf situation where they do this a lot and when they really need help, it goes ignored. I tend to get myself into a state when of extreme worry when I see posts like that, but if its the same people over and over, it loses its impact. Also, from a nosy person's perpective, its very annoying. I didn't mean to sound dismissive.

I did see a good example of what the app might do the other day though. A friend of a teenage relative had posted a photo of him standing with his feet over a drop so you could see his feet and the drop and lots of people responded very quickly, worried about him. He posted to say that he wasn't in trouble, just thought it would be a cool picture but the fact that so many people tried to help was appreciated. So maybe in a case where someone was planning suicide, that may have helped talk them down. In my case, I'm more likely to go dark and not talk to anyone when I feel really bad.

Elsien - may I just say that you're an awesome aunt. That sounds like so much fun, although if the weather in Yorkshire is anything like here, you wont need the nerf guns. I had to go out in the garden in my dressing gown in the pouring rain to rescue dumbass dog from a bush that he'd managed to get stuck in.

Pyxis, enjoy your weekend.

jobbingmusician

codemonkey wrote: »

Drama queen: so sad and alone.
Friend 1: whats up hunni
Drama queen: I'll PM you.

This actually made me laugh as I know people like that! (Not meaning to minimise anyone's real distress, I just do know some drama queens.)

Off to find out what a nerf gun is! This thread is as lively as ever....:D

Errata

Many people with borderline personality disorder are scorned and dismissed as being 'drama queens'. It's just another version of telling a depressed person to cheer up.

codemonkey

Errata wrote: »

Many people with borderline personality disorder are scorned and dismissed as being 'drama queens'. It's just another version of telling a depressed person to cheer up.

I was actually thinking of one of my nieces and her friends who do not have borderline personality disorder, but are actually just massive teenage drama queens.

Like I said, I don't mean to be dismissive.

Feeling a bit persecuted now... (see, I can be a drama queen too).

whitewing

codemonkey, I am glad you can say that you feel a bit persecuted. In similar situations I usually slink away. Anyway, all views are valid because all have some merit.

For me, one of the difficulties of bpersonality disoder as a teenager was that the message coming across to my parents was not that I was ill but was that I was being a manipulative teenager. Mind you, this was many years ago now. I remember being deeply disappointed with the psychiatrist but, of course, I didn't understand why exactly as I didn't even understand that how I felt and reacted was so extreme. I couldn't remember ever feeling any other way. It's so much easier to manage the symptoms now that I have experienced days without feeling suicidal.

I am tired. DS has maltesters. I may have to be nice to him!