Just needed to be heard for a little while

dibuzz

It certainly is elsien.

DUKE

Lovely day here today but very windy! :eek:

Waves_and_Smiles

Good afternoon all!

All ok here apart from a sad dream of my grandad (on my mother's side), I don't dream of him very often. He was crying in my dream as he did in real life.

He died when I was 11, he spent the last 10 years living in his bedroom, separate to my grandmother and uncle. She supplied his food but they hardly spoke otherwise. He thought the world of me and I still remember him quite clearly. He and my grandmother would barely speak and when they did it would be arguments, they led separate lives. He used to tell my uncle what a waste he was and how disappointed he was in him and he would take me out of my uncles room everytime he invited me in and tell him to leave me alone which confused me a lot.

He was a watch maker and after retirement would pick up old clocks and watches from jumble sales and restore them. I had many as a child, he would always give me one when I visited. They were very old but he would make them look like new. Sometimes he would teach me how to clean them with tiny feathers and show me how the pieces joined together.

He married my grandmother late in his life and they had my uncle together who he had almost no time for-he was different with me. He used to pull me onto his lap towards the end of his life and cry. He would tell me that I was beautiful and that he loved me and that he was so sorry and that one day I would be a beautiful woman with my own life. It made me feel very awkward as a child and I dreaded it, I remember saying to my dad I wish he wouldn't hug me and cry, my dad said it was because he loved me. As an adult I can see that he was an old man in his 80's who could see how unhealthy things were, even between his wife's and his son's relationship. He knew things were wrong but was too frail to do anything. I remember once my mother rushing me out the door because he was yelling at her and saying "You must love her, she is a good girl!" She said he was old and didn't understand what he was saying. He wanted to protect me but was too ill and frail so he held me and cried and told me he was sorry and rocked me as if I was a baby, and what made me feel awkward as a child now means the world to me. I love you grandad, thank you for loving me, I never realised how much you did.

whitewing

It does sound like he loved you very much, WaS.

Waves_and_Smiles

He did, whitewing. I used to hate being cuddled and cried on as a child, I didn't know what to do at all and I wished he would stop it! Looking back, though he really did love me and fear for me. He would have done anything for me. He was a lovely man.

System

Oh WaS Thank you for sharing that

-big hugs if wanted-

Sometimes when we're young we don't always understand things but i'm glad you can look back and know how much he loved you

Reminded me of my own Grandad, he was like a second father to me. I remember he was always in the garage fixing thing or making things, i used to love it when he showed me how to make things, hehe he once hid my teddy bear then took me outside and showed me a stone teddy bear in the garden and i actually thought it was MY teddy until he pulled it out from behind his back, he was michevious and loving He always greeted me with "how do" and would always spend ages chatting to me whilst my nan was making tea and stuff. I miss those days.

whitewing

I think most children would be uncomfortable with an adult crying, although I do think it can be healthy eg if someone close has passed away.

I had one grandad who loved me. The other one never quite seemed to like me that much. I don't know why as he loved children. Maybe because I was not very childlike or maybe because he didn't like the parts that reminded him of my mum.

A lot in our family was never spoken about - anything unpleasant happening really.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, your grandfather sounds lovely, MU.

Very little was spoken about in my family, too whitewing. My mothers father was hardly mentioned but from what I can gather he had huge arguments with my grandmother over my mothers upbringing and ran when she was 7 never to be seen again.

It makes me sad but I quite like remembering my grandfather. He was very sane compared to the rest of my family and locked himself away as much as he could when he had figured out what he married into. He was very close to my dad, they supported each other. I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral which made me sad, I would have liked to have gone. It is nice to be able to look back and realise that despite the dysfunction there were people who loved me and only wanted the best for me. I can still fix an old fashioned clock!

whitewing

Talking of love, I had a Whitney Houston cd on while cleaning the kitchen earlier. DD joined in the singing - except that she was 'sailing all my life, sailing all my life, sailing all my life' for yooouuuuuuuuuuuu.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahaha! That is so adorable!