Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

Could WaSp arrange for MIL to see GD at supervised contact? Then if BIL does turn up, it won't matter.

Waves_and_Smiles

MIL can't get out now so she couldn't travel to a designated venue. However, now you have mentioned it, whitewing I wonder if SS could arrange for someone to supervise in her home? MIL won't be overjoyed at the prospect but it's safest. Quite how we approach that I don't know because there is nothing to say that MIL can't have her granddaughter alone. Unless I mentioned to ex-SIL that I think that might be best for safety and tell her to arrange it?

lostinrates

Would ex sil go with her daughter if ex bil is not going to be there?

It might be quite scary for a little girl who hasn't had contact for a time and who might fear its 'her dad's ' territory.

Waves_and_Smiles

Ex-SIL might do. Then there is the problem if BIL turns up anyway, he is the last person ex-SIL ever wants to see again and she would likely refuse all access for MIL in the future. This would be far easier if MIL would just see her granddaughter alone but there is no way she would refuse to let BIL see her. Somehow BIL can do no wrong in her eyes and she still blames herself for his drinking and temper because she stayed with their dad for most of his childhood.

For a long time ex-SIL didn't trust MIL either but now she is allowing contact through letters and cards, another issue is that I would hate to see MIL and niece lose that because the trust is broken again. It is ridiculously complicated and I admit I probably didn't help by reacting with sheer horror to WaSp and clearly saying that he can't do that while calling BIL some choice names.

whitewing

I would still go for supervised contact at MIL's house if that is possible and then it is up to everyone if they go or have a strop. At the very least, WaSp can spend some time with her.

elsien

Evening all. Your positive thoughts clearly safely came my way.
I am fairly un-traumatised and the panel were very relaxed and informal so no goldfish/cream images required. (Which is a bit of a shame, as I was looking forward to practising/practicing? my visualisation techniques.)
No role play, thank goodness, it was a couple of scenarios for me to do written answers to. The usual appalling selling myself question, to which I was as useless as ever even after a day of rehearsing.:o Good company, very good salary (10K more than my last job) and benefits but the agency slightly missold me to them and vice versa so I would be surprised to be offered the post and even if I were, I would need to seriously think whether it was right for me.
Overall verdict, it was worth attending as a practice interview if nothing else so I'm not going to be disheartened if nothing comes of it.

Walking Gitdog afterwards we were trundling past the vets and he hurled himself towards the door to go in. So we did, to help his socialisation. He spent the next 5 minutes flat on his back in the middle of the reception area having his belly rubbed by all and sundry. This is not a normal dog, by any stretch of the imagination.:cool:

elsien

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

It is ridiculously complicated and I admit I probably didn't help by reacting with sheer horror to WaSp and clearly saying that he can't do that while calling BIL some choice names.

In all honesty I don't see what else you could have done. It's too big a breach of trust for ex-SIL and daughter to even contemplate anything else, imo.

oystercatcher

Just to reinforce, you said the right thing WaS, child protection has to be the priority. There's obviously a reason for supervised access and you'd never forgive yourself, or anyone involved if there was a problem.

I agree with Lir , horrible situation for wasp though

whitewing

Good morning, everyone.

whitewing

Crotch Biting Penguin alert






Some of you may like to dip into this thread on MSE to add your own insights, but I don't recommend it to anyone feeling remotely fragile this morning. (Very serious subject).

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5090896





End penguin