Just needed to be heard for a little while

System

Well, i don't know about anyone else but i'm awake.

I bascially got annoyed on tuesday as i went to the local GUM clinic to get my pill and (as i always do after relationships ending) getting myself a full check up, well i got there and 1)got told that as i am over 24 i now have to see my GP for my pill, and 2)there were no more spaces avaliable. This annoyed me mainly as the whole reason i go there to get my pill is because its much more convinient than having to booking to see my GP but now i'm being penalised cos i'm "old" :mad:

After some thought i've decided to go back on the injection as i was on it before and it will be more convenient to only have to go back every 12 weeks, but still annoyed as i have to wait until tomorrow to hopefully get it done. So yeah due to the fact my meds make me very drowsy in the morning i am currently trying to stay awake as i know if i sleep i wont be able to get up in time :mad:

But on the plus side, (trying to think of positives!):
-i have tomorrow off and only one more shift this week
-i get to see all my friends and go out on saturday
-i'm going for a meal with my parents at a lovely all you can eat restaurant on sunday (my birthday!)
-i get to see the beau on sunday and get lots of birthday cuddles

So yes must focus on the good things and not the irritations

lostinrates

I'm going to try the writing in white thing for a sumo penguin.






childhood abuse impacts different ways. It doesn't always leave people unable to sumo. I think its important people who read know some people react differently. I exist only because having a normal attitude to sumo is possible for some afterwards. I say this only because some Are taking what they are reading here as experience, its not something I want to talk more about.

Pyxis

Thank you for being honest, WaS, and everyone else with their sumo stories.

(We really are the masters of the euphemism on this thread!)

It is interesting and reassuring that, in a society where one is constantly bombarded with sumo images, there are plenty of people and relationships that survive and flourish without it, for whatever reason.
Penguin (for me, not anyone else!):-
I have been living on my own for a very long time, double figures. Not through choice, just not met anyone. All my previous relationships ended acrimoniously, all but one with me being devastated.
It is extremely rare for me to meet someone I'm attracted to, and on that rare occasion when I do, they are either unavailable or just not interested in me! The last time I felt that attraction was 6 years ago! It was totally unexpected and right out of the blue, but it was unreciprocated and he was unavailable, so that was that! Mind you, it was quite funny in a way, as I had assumed I'd never feel a thunderbolt again!
I do miss having a reassuring hug from time to time, and it can be a drag dealing with 'stuff' on one's own, and there are times when I feel abnormal and unloveable, especially as I don't have any supportive family either. So I fill my life with other things, and there's loads of stuff to do out there! I go on cultural holidays, where there are common interests, I do loads of little courses, I'm involved with a charity and I keep my eye open for one-off lectures and concerts.
Occasionally it does all become too much, and the drawbridge goes up for a while!
End.

Waves_and_Smiles

Reply penguin!

You are completely correct, LIR. Childhood abuse doesn't necessarily mean that there will be difficulties with sumoing later. If there are difficulties they can be different for many people, too. For example I sumoed a lot before meeting WaSp, many people might think my past would put me off (it understandably does to some people) but in my case it removed all meaning from it so the act meant nothing at all and therefore I could do so easily. For me it was only when it finally developed meaning that I found that I could no longer do it.

I do know people who have been through abuse and sumo very happily now. It depends on many different factors and no situation is the same for anyone. I also know someone who was abused who said it has never really affected him much at all and he has gone on to have successful relationships and rarely thinks of it. The outcome is as varied as we are individuals and we should never judge one case as being typical. My experience is exclusive to me and only me as it should be. Others may have a similar or entirely different experience.

End penguin.

I get tired even thinking about your life, Pyxis! You are so busy. I used to very good at living alone before I became ill, in fact it was WaSp who wanted to move in together and I confess to being slightly horrified at the thought.* I was very used to my own space and doing whatever I wished when I wanted to, it was a steep learning curve for me to learn to live with someone. Obviously now with my care needs living alone takes on a whole new perspective but emotionally I think that I could still do it if I had to, I enjoyed it very much.

* On a humorous note that was almost a complete disaster. WaSp found a 3 bedroomed house for us and said that he wanted me to live with him. I didn't want to really give up my freedom for such a serious move but agreed.

It turned out that WaSp meant that we should live together with our uni friends who he was already living with, I thought that he meant just us. I would have been happier at the time sharing the house with others and keeping it casual! Neither of us discussed this until we had lived together for a year and had got used to living as just us, I never told him that I would have preferred something more relaxed with our friends with us for fear of hurting him and he never told me that he wanted that, too because he believed I wanted to live exclusively with him and didn't want to hurt me! It all worked out in the end but was a total communication failure at the time!

I hope today goes well for you, MU! Think of your birthday and those lovely cuddles to come!

lostinrates

Pyxis wrote: »

Thank you for being honest, WaS, and everyone else with their sumo stories.

(We really are the masters of the euphemism on this thread!)

It is interesting and reassuring that, in a society where one is constantly bombarded with sumo images, there are plenty of people and relationships that survive and flourish without it, for whatever !

I am very liberal about sumo, I feel we still aren't liberal enough in many ways. But I also feel that the omnipresent of imagery, and idealised imagery of sumo, we are surrounded by don't make us liberal or open , and that its a confusion to mistake them for one and the same. I would even suggest they are damaging.

I am often a bit disappointed by what young children are exposed to as 'background' understanding, and by that I don't mean the act of sex, which I think is natural, and normal and something many kids learn without 'sensualisTion' from farmyards, or nature.

I mean the constant pressure from music and media to apply them selves to an ideal to be 'sexy' or appear 'cool' ( aka...sexy). I feel quite strongly that in its own way this can be a very removed form of disabusing children of their childhood and naivity, like 'grooming light' only society approved. Its not I don't think children and young people should know or think about sex, but be given time to do so at their own pace more.


Of course while some are single by circumstance, there are asexual people, who may or may not be single.

oystercatcher

Interesting discussions .....
no time to comment as have to travel with family to a funeral today. Social anxiety and feeling tired and unwell will be more of a problem than grief....... that sounds awful ! What I mean is I didn't know the person very well . Am a bit worried the whole thing will remind me of another bereavement which does upset me though.

Hope Haybel's appt goes well and JM's move..

must get ready........

oystercatcher

DUKE, hope you are recovering OK.
Mum seems to be OK at the moment but is still having regular 'scopes and treatment. Whenever they look they don't see any more growths though so we hope is gone.

Pyxis

Thank you, LIR, yes, it's that old spectrum again!

We are definitely a society of contradictions. As you say, we are bombarded by images, songs, films, stories of all sorts of sumoist practices, then the media gets all uppity when a 'celebrity' or politician does some extramarital sumoing! Even to the point of destroying someone's career. We can be quite a hypocritical society at times.

Our children are exposed to all sorts, and it will only get worse with the internet. Yet nature ensures that our children develop physically before our culture thinks they should. It's a very difficult conundrum, difficult enough from a philosophical point of view, let alone to put into practice!


Good luck haybel!. Think perfume/nail varnish!

Calm, JM, calm! Think turquoise!

Stay peaceful, Oystercatcher.

Waves_and_Smiles

LIR, I have known many very liberal sumo couples in all kinds of different situations and I support them totally. As long as they are happy it is fine with me! I also knew an asexual couple a while back who were very happily together for over 10 years. Different strokes for different folks, as long it isn't hurting anyone I would never make a judgement.

Be gentle with yourself today, oystercatcher. That doesn't sound awful at all, the last time I went to a funeral I was far more concerned with the fact that I might pass out through anxiety at any moment than I was with the occasion. Do escape outside or to the bathroom for a breather if you need to.

jobbingmusician

oystercatcher wrote: »

Social anxiety and feeling tired and unwell will be more of a problem than grief....... that sounds awful !

No, it doesn't. It just puts your levels of social anxiety and illness into perspective. Hope everything goes really well today and well done for going, if that doesn't sound patronising.

And remember that there will be people there who are not behaving 'normally' (for them) because of their grief- I think this knowledge would help me with social anxiety because there's no 'right way' to behave at a funeral really so you aren't trying to match up to any particular ideal. (You can see the sort of things I worry about at social occasions )