Just needed to be heard for a little while

codemonkey

Glad you're back Duke x

jobbingmusician

Yay! Well done Duke! So glad you are back safe and sound!

Some random facts about me...

Mr JM hates toe varnish with a passion (something to do with a mad aunt!) which is a shame as I rather like it.

He is also allergic to oranges. Like SRSLY allergic - his hands swell up if he picks one up! So orange perfumes and blossom are out of the window for me. I even get mild complaints if there is orange oil in my shampoo, although he's never actually reacted physically to that.

I'm happy to forward anything to anyone, and generally I am happy to share my address with people on this site. However, for the next 3 months it might be better if people sent stuff to WORK for me to forward, as we won't actually be living in this house and so there's the potential for mail to go astray (see earlier posts about building work.)

We've signed the contract on a storage unit and put the first few boxes in. Still frantically packing up! Less stressed than yesterday, though Mr JM is going to put locks on the bedroom doors - not sumo related locks but so we can store some stuff up there (we only have to clear the DOWNSTAIRS, thank flip!)

lostinrates

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Yay! Well done Duke! So glad you are back safe and sound!

Some random facts about me...

Mr JM hates toe varnish with a passion (something to do with a mad aunt!) which is a shame as I rather like it.

He is also allergic to oranges. Like SRSLY allergic - his hands swell up if he picks one up! So orange perfumes and blossom are out of the window for me. I even get mild complaints if there is orange oil in my shampoo, although he's never )

Lol, both are a shame.

Fir and a chum of his both once admitted they like seeing their respective loves with CHIPPED toenail varnish. Odd huh? Well, we gals jumped on it and it seems to be a sort of endearing vulnerability and intimacy of imperfection, of that we put it on and paint ourselves but that we trust them to see us not perfect too, and that we aren't precious or overdone, and we chip nails.

I thought it was a really interesting thing. The chipped toenail varnish. What someone who doesn't know you might see as unkempt, grubby, lazy, and. Alsorts of negative words associated with women, so e one who loves you can find more lovely than the polished perfection.

I usually paint my nails because I have had so many accidents with horses I have two nail bed separations/ dis coloureds and other nail bed damaged, so the paint hides that. Because my feet sweep I often cannot wear shoes. I'd rather people see varnish than think I have something wrong with my nails!

Pyxis

Been out all day, came home, ate, checked emails and stuff, then settled down to read this burgeoning thread.
Blimey O'Reilly!! This thread has turned into "Masters of Sumo"!
Had several laughs though, you bonkers lot!

I, too, like perfume, to make me feel dressed and elegant. However, I'm incomplete without my earrings. I love earrings. They can be elegant, bohemian or crazy! Whatever mood I'm in! They can be quirky, they can be a statement! They can even be the ones I made myself!
Shoes are another thing. I go for comfort above everything, but I still like my shoes to be a bit different, and if I feel I've got special shoes on, I feel very good!
I've never been one for finger nail varnish. A) can't be bothered, it wouldn't last 5minutes on me and C) I have horrid nails and cuticles anyway. I do sometimes wear it on my toes in the summer, if I wear sandals. I had to wear some at the weekend as part of the AmDram thing, and I couldn't bear the thought of messing about with blotchy varnish, so I got some of those disposable wrap things, that you can peel off afterwards. In bright red! So funny! And so unlike me!

Welcome back Duke! Glad it all went well!

Good for you, Codemonkey! Tell you what, you'll have fun if you're the only one not drinking at the lunch! Watching everyone else slowly sink into their cups! I rarely drink at social events these days, and it's very amusing seeing people get sozzled! And trying to hold meaningful conversations! You'll get your own high from that!

Oystercatcher, don't be afraid of colour. The effect colours can have on mood is amazing! A certain colour of earring could really make your eyes sparkle!

Pyxis

Haybel is it tomorrow you go to the hospital for your appointment? Best of luck with it! :A

codemonkey

dumbass dog isn't well so we're having cuddles on the couch.

haybel19

Pyxis wrote: »

Haybel is it tomorrow you go to the hospital for your appointment? Best of luck with it! :A

Hello Pyxis yes it is thank you for remembering really touched. I am working myself into a right panic....feelign very stressed and anxious. Hospital are aware of my PTSD and the reasons for it so hopeful they will be quite sympathetic. Hopefully.

Appointment is 4:20. Normally when I have to do something I really dont want to i try and think of something to look forward to for after... any ideas? I find this helps me cope even if i am just looking forward to a hot chocoalte with marshmallows and cream or a big slice of chocolate cake.

#100daysofhappiness2 my little girl climbing into my lap for a cuddle and then snuggling in and falling asleep earlier. Watching Max snooze beside me snoring softly with his head on the arm of the sofa.

Pyxis

Well, we've been talking about perfume, so after your appt., why not go into the nearest department store or Boots, etc., and try out say, three new perfumes? Then report back to us what you thought of them.? Market research!
Or, as we've been talking about nail varnish, buy a new shade! Or a set of wraps!

#100daysofhappiness2 I went to a new Zumba class, and drove to the nearest carpark, expecting it to be full, but it wasn't! Plenty of spaces! Made life so easy!

Waves_and_Smiles

This is the the third time I have written this and deleted it, I might still delete it at a later date. Sumoing in reference to myself is very hard for me to talk about although I am fine with discussing anyone else doing it or not (that sounds so wrong). But in the spirit of being brutally honest on the thread here goes. I am calling it a penguin because there will be mentions of child abuse.

Edited to add a disclaimer-this is only my experience after being abused, lots of people have different reactions afterwards and some have no scars at all. This is purely my experience only and should never be seen as being typical of everyone.

Oystercatcher, WaSp and I haven't sumoed for 14 years. Neither of us can for different reasons. Sumoing has always been a very difficult thing for me due to abuse. When I was in my late teens/early 20's I slept with a lot of people, it meant nothing to me, I didn't feel any emotional attachment at all during it, no pleasure either. I would do it just to end an evening sometimes to get the guy/girl to leave, it was completely an auto-pilot reaction. I could sumo with someone I had known for 20 minutes, it meant nothing at all. I used to plan shopping lists during it and just go through the motions. When I met WaSp at first we sumoed quite a lot but the more I grew to love him the more difficult it became to the point of me biting my own fist to stop screaming while it happened. I couldn't sumo with someone I loved, it was too painful to associate it with love after being abused. I carried on for years absolutely dreading it until eventually I told WaSp that I just couldn't do it anymore. The added problem with this was that I am bisexual, WaSp presumed I wanted a woman and not him which wasn't true at all. I just cannot sumo with someone I love, in a strange way it showed how close I felt to him. I couldn't switch off my emotions with him as I had done with every sumo partner previously, and my emotions were afraid, confused and disgusted with myself. It took a lot of very painful talking to get through that and a lot of reassurance from me that it was my problem, I told WaSp that he could leave and I would completely understand and I did try to fix it through therapy but the scars are very deep for me.

A few years later WaSp put on weight, developed high blood pressure and circulation problems and became impotent. This actually suited me and frankly although I felt so sad for WaSp it was a relief for me. We now cuddle and kiss but nothing else, and neither of us makes demands on the other. I do solo sumo, that has never been a problem for me and I do have all the feelings of pleasure while alone but sharing it with someone I love still feels dirty and disgusting to me even though I know that it isn't at all, quite the opposite. Fortunately I am a very tactile person so I never withheld affection from him, he knows that I love him very much, I have often said to him if I ever leap on him to sumo presume I have gone off him, I don't sumo with him because he means so much to me and eventually WaSp came to understand that and he now see's it as a compliment which in the oddest way ever it actually is. He also has the ultimate reassurance that I am not about to run off with someone else, I have no wish to sumo with anyone ever again and a new relationship would likely involve that.

We are proof that a relationship can survive without it very well, we are lucky we found each other as if we had had different partners things could have been far more difficult for us both. We do still find each other attractive and tell each other that a lot, that has never changed and it is just as important to us as it would be if we still sumoed. We have no problems with sleeping naked together or seeing each other naked, sex isn't a big thing that we avoid discussing, we have just mutually closed the book on it. As long as two people remind each other that they find each other attractive and are still affectionate it can work, it is important to keep the closeness and although it is incredibly hard, find a way to talk about it.

Penguin end

Waves_and_Smiles

So glad the surgery went well Duke, I was thinking of you! I am also thinking of you haybel tomorrow, crossing everything for you for a good and productive consultation.

Elsien, GitDog does the best I am bored and sad face I have ever seen!