Just needed to be heard for a little while

DUKE

Y'hooo Team WaS, will pop in a bit later to chat. Hope everyone's OK xxx

whitewing

Have you done your request yet, WaS?

Waves_and_Smiles

Good Evening! I got a lovely reply to my request for a username change (waves at MSE Andrea) and she thought that it was a great idea! Now I need to email the MSE forum team and tell them that Andrea said yes. I presume if Andrea said yes then they won't disagree so I am excited now!

As for today, I am not sure what happened really. My carer wasn't due today so I just slept with lots of nightmares. My partner woke me up at 2pm with my medication and I tried sitting in a chair and fell back to sleep within minutes so he sent me back to bed. Next thing I was standing in the kitchen with him again telling me to return to bed and saying I was sleep walking. I slept and had more nightmares and then crawled out of bed utterly confused at 10pm.

I feel a bit more in reality now but the last 18 hours are just lost to me. I have no idea why this happens but it isn't uncommon, some days I just cannot stay awake no matter how hard I try. I still feel very tired and my dreams seem more real than reality but at least I am on the sofa. I shall write today off as it just didn't happen really...

whitewing

Turquoise.

I've never sleepwalked. Do animals sleepwalk?

I find myself much more curious these days about things in general. I was wondering why bears don't get heart attacks. Something to do with making their own vitamin C so the walls of their blood vessels are stronger than ours. (Don't take this as a scientific hard fact!)

Now this post is not going to help you face reality, is it.

Glad you got a positive response re username.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you for the turquoise reminder, yes, I am in this world now. I am currently touching everything, using touch to feel real things helps ground me.

Interestingly, on a note of animal biology did you know that mole rats never develop cancer? There are lots of studies about them because no one is sure why but something within them stops it developing. That fascinates me.

Now I need to be brave enough to email the forum team. A yes from Andrea helps a lot with the confidence there though, so I am again getting my courage up!

whitewing

Go for it WaS!

I've never even heard of a mole rat. But having googled it, it isn't exactly a cutesome pet.

Waves_and_Smiles

Look! Look! They did it and at 8.30am on a Saturday too! Thank you to JM and MSE Andrea and the Forum Team! Also thank you to everyone for supporting me to ask them, I look so much more optimistic now!

I am excited like a 5 year old! (Plus this means the folks at MSE Towers don't hate me, I was always going to think that if they said no even if it is silly).

I don't get much excitement in my life, can you tell?

lostinrates

Hello waves and smiles, I like your new look, a lot!

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you LIR! How are you?

I created my original username when I had just got out of hospital after being sectioned on the strength of receiving an ESA form and it was such a depressing reminder. Not only did it remind me that I was that ill, it was also a reminder that another ESA form will need to be dealt with again one day. I panic about that often enough without thinking of it with every post too.

I feel so much better with this username, something to cheer me up instead!

lostinrates

I think user names can be interesting. I like this one much more, and its good its not a negative connotation for you IMO.


I'm ok. More tired than earlier in the week, not as tired as before that, I'm awake but not doing much! Not feeling as low it think. I'm feeling physically well enough to have risked accepting an invitation to supper at someone's house tonight but think it quite likely I'll fall asleep. They are having other really interesting guests who I haven't met so I'm hoping even if I do DH will have a good time. I know the hosts well enough for then to know I have a difficult time ( I don't talk about health much in real life but know me for long enough and at the very least you find out I get a lot of 'migraines' ) so I can have a bit of a need to lie down for a bit.

Its exciting to go out anyway