Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

I've had a headache today but not a migraine. Wonder if it is weather-related. It may be brother-related - he is stressed and called me to talk. (He doesn't want advice; just to ramble on).

I have been in good spirits but I seem to be clenching my jaw in the night for the last couple of nights. Not sure what that is all about.

whitewing

JM, obviously what I say next is after you have consultation with a doctor....I wonder if you could have a small amount per day of trigger food to reduce your sensitivity. I know there was a trial at some point of children with peanut allergies who had M&M's each day, which helped. This was under close medical supervision.

Waves_and_Smiles

I jaw clench a lot, whitewing. So much so it makes my teeth hurt. I find massaging my jawline helps and it usually happens to me when I am anxious, although I am not always sure why at the time. I am not saying it is the same reason for you (I don't want to make you anxious that you might be anxious!) but it's always worth considering.

Oh, oh whitewing, I did that with milk! Out of nowhere milk suddenly started making me very ill, not dairy in general just plain milk. So my GP and I agreed on a plan where I would have 3 tablespoons of milk a day and gradually increase it and it worked! I still can only drink half a glass but it stopped the impending lactose allergy. Never ever do that without supervision though, it can be very dangerous to try to improve allergies alone as you say. Also, I wasn't getting dangerous allergy symptoms, my body just expelled it as soon as I had any and continued to try and do so for the next day. Definitely don't try it if bits of you swell up!

whitewing

I don't feel anxious. (Dr Google says it may be a side effect of my particular antidepressant, and to do with higher levels of seratonin vs lower levels of dopamine).

The only thing is that I have convinced myself that I am pregnant. I am virtually certain that this is simply because I am due to have my coil fitted later this week, and it seems such a final thing, even though I know it can be taken out and we aren't planning more children. The little boy I cuddled at the recent party felt just like my son at that age - I had forgotten that.

I decided that I had implantation bleeding on Friday.

I have done a pregnancy test and it was negative. However, my next period isn't due until after my coil is due to go in.

Anyway, I have decided that I will just waste some money taking tests every day until I can speak to the doctor.

I am now hardly ever having suicidal thoughts and it struck me last week that I have never had a single monumental event in my life that has been free of them. Even on my wedding day, I was seeing flashes of myself (won't go into details). There is a part of me that would love to experience something big, like a baby, without the depression. I think this is all that it is - just me accepting that the decision we have made is right for us.

Anyway, nobody worry about this. Either way, it's not the end of the world.

Waves_and_Smiles

That makes sense, whitewing. Having a coil fitted is bound to bring up all sorts of emotions for you. Personally I would continue to take the tests until you see your doctor even if you rationally know you aren't pregnant. It isn't harming anyone and if it helps you it's fine. I have learned to go along with some of my repeating thoughts and indulge them if they won't harm me or others, sometimes refusing to acknowledge them and following that through gives the thought even more grip on me and I become even more focused on it.

Do speak your doctor, as you say the coil can be removed so it isn't the end by any means if you change your mind in the future.

That's an interesting point from Doctor Google re: dopamine vs serotonin. I produce far too much dopamine which the anti-psychotics stop happening and I take pills to increase serotonin so now I am wondering if that is why I jaw clench, too. Thank you for that, it has given me something new to consider!

whitewing

You'll have a huge list for the psychiatrist this time!

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, I will have! I drive him mad with questions everytime I see him anyway. He once laughed and said psychologists and psychiatrists make the worse mental health patients because they always want to know what is going on and compare it to research!

whitewing

We're off to bed now, so will 'see' you all tomorrow. Goodnight.

Solarjunkie

WaS, I have been looking for some footwear that might be suitable, just for the walk from the car to the hospital! These are technically slippers, but seem to have fairly hard soles and are certainly cheerful - http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mens-England-Flag-Boot-Slippers-Men-Flat-Warm-Comfy-British-Shoe-Boots-Slipper-/331290822827?pt=UK_Men_s_Shoes&var=&hash=item4d2278c8ab

Waves_and_Smiles

They look really promising, Solar! They also look soft enough to accommodate swelling feet. Thank you so much! As you say really I need shoes for building to car and vice versa trips, once in the hospital I can get away with slipper socks. I have been looking for a really soft shoe with a good sole so they could be just about perfect. It's worth a try!