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  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    whitewing wrote: »
    LIR,

    Is there an NHS drop in centre near you that you could get tests done if your own GP can't fit you in? There is one in the next town to us that is open until 8pm 7 days a week - good service too, although you sometimes have to then see your own doctor to be referred elsewhere.

    Sadly not. I'm sure my surgery will fit me in. I think there might be a drop in and wait morning for phlebotomy.

    I'm not at all nervous of the blood test, so that's not why. Just, apathetic, disorganised. Drop in clinics are hard when I feel physically unwell, so I always make appts, But I'll just find out when it is and go I think that's my best option now.
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I will give you a virtual kick up the bottom, if that will help. I know all about apathy!

    Good morning everyone. Busy day today and I won't have the laptop until I get back in tonight.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Perhaps we, me included, need one of these!:-


    e76bbd01eae8705882c96759908d319d_zps242b0210.jpg
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Good evening everyone!

    I am slightly anxious and determined not to become more anxious. My BIL has apparently found himself a girlfriend in the same town I live in. I have already said to WaSp that he can tell him anything he likes as long as I don't have to see him, I honestly don't care if he says I am knife-wielding maniac waiting behind the door to stab him at this point. That however, doesn't relieve the worry of BIL wanting to go out for a drink with WaSp who is going to find it very hard to say no. Last time we went for a drink with my BIL we ended up peeling him off of a totally innocent man in a pub that he took offence to for absolutely no reason. This is extremely common and I fear for WaSp having to deal with this.

    Mind you there are apparently quite a few pubs here that he couldn't go into as his girlfriend has already been banned from them. She has a drink problem and gets violent too.

    Someone tell me not to panic please.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • Don't panic Mr Mainwaring! (or WaS!) Maybe WaSP could get in there first by suggesting meeting at a cafe, for a coffee, perhaps his story is that he doesn't drink so much because of all the driving he does? So Bil gets a social meeting with a little less chance of meltdown.
    Anyway, is a knife-wielding maniac behind a door that she never actually opens that scary? ;)
    Deal with things as they are, not as they should be.
  • dibuzz
    dibuzz Posts: 2,021 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    They sound like a good match, hopefully they will have to drink elsewhere.
    Try not to worry about it, easier said than done I know but it isn't going to help.
    14 Projects in 2014 - in memory of Soulie - 2/14
  • Hahahahahahaha! I am on the floor laughing here. Good point! I suppose that I would actually have to open the door to be any threat! I should have thought that out a bit better really...

    That's an idea, coffee could work. Just our luck that he found a girlfriend here, WaSp is as horrified as I am.

    I am having a glass of water!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • Waves_and_Smiles
    Waves_and_Smiles Posts: 5,263 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 16 August 2014 at 7:43PM
    I have tried with BIL incindentally, for 15 years before I gave up because I was having to take extra anti-psychotics just to make it through a 3 hour meeting. I gave up after he got drunk and punched someone in a pub, came home with us and then tried to punch WaSp who then walked out leaving me with him. I then went through 3 hours of him crying, yelling and punching walls in anger, self-harming in front of me and finally ending with him trying to kiss me. After that I just decided that I can't do this anymore, it was making me ill.

    I do feel guilty because it leaves WaSp to deal with him alone and oddly enough BIL does like me and tends to listen to me if I tell him to back off but I honestly don't have the mental strength to deal with it any longer. He hasn't changed in the whole time I have known him and he doesn't want to change which is the most important thing. These days he has decided that he has Bipolar so nothing he does is his fault. He doesn't at all, he is a very angry person who drinks far too much and won't admit that he has a problem, although I do acknowledge that he is also a very unhappy person. MIL wants us all to get along and believes the Bipolar story but he is even very abrupt and patronising with her, he carries an awful lot of anger inside of him that he projects onto everyone.

    To be fair to him he did have a difficult childhood but then WaSp had the same and is one of the most passive people that you could meet. It is extremely rare that I give up on anyone but if it starts to influence my health negatively I don't have a choice. I do feel guilty for it but I just can't do it.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    You are quite right, WaS. You have enough to deal with without carrying someone who does not acknowledge his problem, does not want help and turns violent easily. It's a shame he has a girlfriend who is also a drinker, as they then validate each other's habit.

    If he were to admit that he have a problem, it would be totally different, but until then, he appears to be a danger to you and WaSp, so you are right to steer clear.
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • I have tried over the years to talk to him about it and he admitted that he was an alcoholic but all said that he didn't wish to change it because he likes being drunk. Then the Bipolar statement came up which has convinced him that he couldn't change it if he wanted to. It is sad because first thing in the morning he has tremors and is sick before his first drink and cannot think clearly, he is destroying himself with alcohol but still has no wish to change that.

    Even being cut off from his daughter and losing his marriage didn't change anything, it just made him more angry at the world for the perceived injustice. If anything was going to be a wake up call it should have been that.

    I do feel guilt though, I hate to see people suffering and despite him saying he wants his life to be this way he is in a lot of pain daily. But no one can help someone who doesn't want help and I just cannot risk my own health dealing with it anymore. He is the only person my family aside that I have ever walked away from and I don't do it lightly but honestly I was having anxiety attacks everytime I saw him. I cannot cope with the amount of anger he expresses nevermind the constant fear that he is about to fight with someone in a public place.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
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