Just needed to be heard for a little while

jobbingmusician

I so totally agree. In fact I think dibuzz has made a very helpful and important post in reply, telling us how it helped them that their PWP 'normalised' self-harm. All the techniques you described (and DRINKING ice cold water was a new one to me, I had only heard of immersing hand in v cold water) can only be used to help people once self harm has been acknowledged. Shutting things away and making people feel ashamed of what is going on mentally for them is exactly how to reduce people's self-esteem and compound their problems. Throwing the shutters open, as you (and some others on this thread) are doing so bravely is the way to confront things, explore them, demystify them, de-stigmatise them, and put them firmly where they belong - on a continuum of mental health so that we can all move together towards greater wellbeing and happiness.

Ooops, that ended up a bit hippyish but I have a lovely picture of us all holding hands and helping each other into the light/enlightenment/more joy please!

Waves_and_Smiles

I love your post dibuzz, thank you. That is exactly why I decided to post what I did, to show that it isn't something that should be hidden away and it is important that those who do self-harm are treated the same as everyone else. Calm acknowledgement can help so much. By 'normalising' it, it helps take the shame away, and I hope that by posting about it here on a forum not targeted to people with mental health problems that it helps people feel less isolated and as if they don't have to conceal it or themselves away.

I am walking a fine line here being an odd mix between mental health user and psychologist and do not wish to give medical advice but drinking the freezing water (it has to be as cold as you can get it and you need to drink a pint rapidly) causes an adrenaline burst as the body copes with the shock. This has the same effect as self-harm in that it snaps you back to reality and gives a safe adrenaline 'high' which alleviates negative feelings. The other useful thing about this technique is it is very fast, the second the freezing water hits your stomach there is a biochemical reaction. I have found it very effective in the past, often more so than other alternatives.

I would recommend people search for the chemical effects on the body during self-harm. It triggers a process and if you are aware of what is happening inside of you when you do it then it is possible to find other ways to replicate the chemical reaction safely.

Also don't underestimate the use of exercise. This doesn't have to be regularly dragging yourself to the gym. Simply jogging rapidly on the spot in your living room for 5 minutes will trigger an endorphine release which will help to negate the bad feelings. Eating something very spicy will also help and we all know the benefits of chocolate.

Shutting up now before I get myself banned.

whitewing

I hadn't heard about the very cold water before but it did make me chuckle a bit because on other boards we talk about people in debt freezing their credit card into an ice block...so if someone is self harming because of debt issues, frozen water is the saviour!

I never used to cut myself but I did pick my skin. I think that was a version of self harm for me and that has gone by itself as I've got better.

I found during my mh treatment that the word 'normal' or phrase, 'what's normal, anyway?' confused me more than it helped. The reason is because my thought patterns weren't what most people experienced growing up. So I had to understand that it wasn't usual, but that a cluster of people who had similar experiences growing up developed similar coping reactions. It was incredible to me that (a proportion of) other people developed without having suicidal thoughts and all the crap that goes with that.

Waves_and_Smiles

I totally agree with you whitewing, it wasn't until I began therapy that I realised a lot of what I thought didn't fit in with societies norms. An extreme is example is I was bullied at school for talking to the inner voices. I didn't understand why people laughed at me and called me mad because we all have these, don't we? It was quite a shock to discover others had nothing like it and for a while I felt strange indeed.

oldestgnome

Every time I catch up with this thread I learn so much about things I could not normally ask about - thank you to those sharing your experiences.


Jobbing musician - "One important tenet of my work is that 'we are all mentally ill sometimes' - I think it was Louis Appleby who said that." is so true.


Whitewing - love the colour thing, it really would be interesting to see how people dealt with that!


Dibuzz - it's interesting to know how different issues are approached.


WaS – for me it’s not about pandering to people or feeling obligated to read, in real life and online I would always do my best by people. If this means I know certain people benefit from a thanks if I am not commenting then that is what I would do, it’s no effort and win win all round. We all have our insecurities, I certainly do – one of which is worrying about posting when I don’t have much or anything I perceive of interest to say and therefore not wasting people’s time!


I don’t think anyone can say they have never felt lonely, sometimes when I have been surrounded by the most people I can feel at my most isolated. For me this was because I don’t think the people around me at that time understood me, this lack of understanding lead to social isolation. So I was there and in some respects included and involved in the day to day goings on but didn’t really feel part of it. I have what is within my understanding a normal family who I generally get in well with, I have several close friends who I share lots of things with, however I choose who I use as a sounding board for different things going on in my life carefully. This does not stop me feeling lonely.


The voice I hear in my head is mine, I am usually asking myself questions, or rationalising a thought process and often talk out loud to inanimate objects in either a conversational or instructional manner. I sometimes see flashes of an image if I am recalling a conversation I had with someone and may hear their voice if I am in effect replaying the conversation to workout what was said and what it might mean.


When I recall a book sometimes I will just hear the words in my voice sometimes I will see them on the page but more often I just remember what it said or my interpretation of what it said and there is no voice or image.


If I was recalling something I had read on a forum like this one I sometimes see my laptop screen and the smilies etc in the text I recall.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you oldestgnome, I am so glad that this thread is answering your questions, you are more than welcome to ask me anything you wish, I have recited most of it so many times to various professionals that it no longer triggers me.

I will say more soon. Having a bad few hours.

dibuzz

Hope you're feeling better later, I was up before 5 but lay in bed reading for an hour before started the marathon task of waking my youngest son up for work.

whitewing

Hi WaS. Hope all is well.

DUKE

I too have a very close family member who has voices in their head. It's the saddest thing ever listening to someone screaming, rambling, raging, & clawing at their own faces to rid themselves of the voices. They don't accept that they're voices & believe that one day the people (voices) will kill them. Medications does help a lot. I'll be following this thread in the hope of learning something & being able to help them. Thanks everyone - You're all so very brave xxx

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello Duke! I am so sorry to hear about your family member. When psychotic I used to believe the bad voices were real too, I remember hitting myself over the head trying to get them to stop. What helped me realise they weren't real was constant reassurance and time. I have had the bad voices for over 20 years, gradually I accepted that they were symptoms of my illness and couldn't harm me. If I am within a psychotic episode I still doubt that though and they can be very convincing. For a while I believed they were voices of neighbours who were planning on killing me, it is difficult to realise they aren't real because the voices come from outside your head like any other outer noise. Sometimes it feels as if they are sitting next to me. Interestingly. once I decided they weren't real they changed tactic from talking to each other about ways to kill me to telling me reasons why I should kill myself.

I am so glad you posted because it is important that people realise how difficult the psychotic illnesses can be for those around the sufferer. It can be extremely distressing to witness. My own partner has been through every emotion there is. He has been scared, he has become angry with me, he has become frustrated and he has sat with me and cried because he can't help. It can be very hard on those who care and that is also something that needs to be recognised. It is fine to feel mixed emotions, I have met quite a few people with schizophrenia in different degrees and it has upset and disturbed me to witness their behaviour and suffering and I have a personal understanding of what they are going through.

Thank you for thinking of me everyone, I shall write more in a little while, I'm still a bit shaky but ok.