Just needed to be heard for a little while

haybel19

Hello all *waves*

Hope everyone has been having a lovely day - I have just finished a cake order- I can see lots of faults but I am actually really pleased with it and the faults are only noticeable to me everyone else thinks I am imagining them! Just hope I can get it there safely -its a half hour trip.

lostinrates

Hay do, I am in awe of anyone who can do stuff like decorate cakes. Baking and cooking, fine, decorating, anything artistic......no way!

Putting in a car, goodness, must take nerves of steel!

Clever you!

oldestgnome

Haybel, generally we are our own worst critics!

Well done on getting the cake done, bet it looks awesome

haybel19

lostinrates wrote: »

Hay do, I am in awe of anyone who can do stuff like decorate cakes. Baking and cooking, fine, decorating, anything artistic......no way!

Putting in a car, goodness, must take nerves of steel!

Clever you!

Thank you. I started a cake decorating class a little while ago and have now done two terms. I love it. This is only my second order- so I am a little nervous anyway- it does not help that I can see so many ways it could all end in tears! It is for a friend whose little girl is turning 2. We used to work together and then both had our little ones only 2-3 months apart. They play beautifully together it is lovely to see.

So not only do I have to get the cake there in one piece, I also have to manage a very excitable 21 month old at the same time lol. I think it would be mission impossible but thankfully it is a bbq and partners are also invited- OH says he does not want any responsibility for the cake though as I would kill him if he drops it!

oldestgnome

Hope you have a very lovely day Haybel and your cake goes down well . How is it decorated?

Pyxis

A rocking horse! That would be wonderful!

Oh, how I wanted a rocking horse as a child! I SO wanted one! I burned for one! But I never got one.
I used to have to go Great Ormond Street Hospital outpatients regularly as a child, and they had one in the waiting room, so on a couple of visits I could use that one; then, one visit, there was a sign on it saying 'do not use', and that was the end of that. Shame, as I was terrified of the procedure I had to have, yet I'd look forward to going because of the horse. After it became out of use, I was terrified again!

Then, when I was an adult, I couldn't afford one. I remember when I'd had my second child, my post-natal supporter (NCT) had an adult-sized one. It was the type with the parallel rockers, not the large curved ones, and I could have a rock when I visited her. It was lovely, so soothing! (But incredibly expensive!)

Funnily enough, learning to ride is on my list! I've only been on a horse about 4 times in my whole life, but I loved it! These days, I'd have to have the old, ploddy nag, due to various joint problems, but I don't care. Plod is good! Must look into it.

Actually, a rocking chair's a good idea, because as well as the soothing motion, it exercises all sorts of muscle, including core muscles. Might be very useful for you, WaS!

Sorry, rambling again! Someone pushed my rocking horse button!

DUKE

You'll end up with your own show soon Haybel like Buddy from Cake Boss, have you seen it on TV? I love it!


I too longed for a rocker Pyxis. Although I vaguely recall sitting on an old metal sort of effort & jumping around on it, it made hell of a row on the concrete though. Soz about that I meant a horse, I only read the first bit & it stirred up memories of long, long ago :-D I'd love a rocking chair too, they're not that expensive now are they? Oh I love a hammock, although I've only ever been on one on holiday.

Waves_and_Smiles

I would love a rocking chair or a rocking horse for that matter! I have never tried either but longed for one as a child. I used to pretend I was horse riding a lot with the use of an upside down broom, I will describe how if anyone is confused!

You are so talented haybel, I can manage a sponge cake and that's about it. I bet the cake is wonderful!

That was a long 11 hour sleep! Other than when my carer is due I am letting myself sleep whenever I need to for now rather than trying to plan it. I seem to get tired between 3am-4am, lie awake for the customary 2 hours and then sleep all the way through for at least 10 hours. I am trying to see if I can develop a sleep pattern rather than forcing myself awake for odd hours (or staying up for 24), I am not worried about what time of the day this involves at the moment.

Tomorrow will need to change a bit as my carer is here at midday (Physio Hell) but when she isn't due I will keep letting my body do its own thing and see where it leads me.

Other than a moderate anxiety that something bad is about to happen all seems ok today!

Oh, forgot to mention that I will be losing my carer in 2 months. The department doesn't have funding anymore. I need to get back in contact with social services at some point as I already pay for 1 day privately (used to be 2 but I can't afford that) and see if there are other provisions. My carer is the one who helps me shower and dress, sorts out my medication for the next 24 hours, gets me tea and toast and she is also trained in physiotherapy so does my exercises with me. It is only 30-40 minutes a day but it makes a difference especially with my partner spending a lot of the time at his mothers in the mornings.

In theory I could manage alone but it would mean my partner would have to help with my washing and dressing which would be whenever he managed to get here (there are potential problems there with me getting to the bathroom alone and in one piece for a start), I would have to be extra vigilant with medication (that involves the whole memory-lapse nightmare, I have messed up potentially dangerously before) and the worse part would be physio as neither my partner nor I can get the exercises right and always seem to end up hurting me.

I am extremely drugged and confused when I first wake up as the medication dose before bed is very high, I am also very stiff, prone to falling and I can't move my right arm or my neck with my spine problem until after the first dose of pain medication and I loosen up a bit. Then finally the physio gets me moving. I can't do the physio by myself as someone needs to support my head, arm and leg while they move them, I am not allowed to use any muscles at all in the affected areas while it goes on so it is impossible to do alone and if I try I usually hurt myself.

I have no doubt that I will end up in the circle again of social services saying that they have provisions in place for my MIL already, so the answer is that she accepts carers and my partner goes back to caring for me full time. This would work if my MIL would accept carers which she won't so once more we will be at stalemate. Neither my partner nor I feel that we can force her into it, she is 93 and proud of her independence. We don't want that taken away from her, it would upset her terribly. As horrid as it to say this situation won't go on for much longer and once she leaves us things will revert back to my partner being with me full-time. We just have to find a way through until then that means my MIL is as happy as she can be.

Ok, that was a novel! well done on getting to the end of it!

DUKE

I still do the broom thing when kids are around WaS, actually I'd love to do it right now

Getting to the end of it made me :rotfl:

I do hope SS pull their finger out & sort you out with a carer. Did you say they come twice a day?

Waves_and_Smiles

I couldn't bear to add more to the post above but here is my daily routine you were asking about, whitewing. This is obviously on a good day so it is what we aim for rather than what always happens.

11am Carer arrives and gives me soluble pain medication (it works far faster than pills).
She spends the 5 minutes while they work laying out my days medication and getting the shower and my clothes ready
Then Physio exercises.
She then helps me to the shower to wash and dress.
Then she makes me tea and toast and gives me the rest of my medication and leaves.
My partner either turns up towards the end of that or shortly afterwards with any shopping needed and then he gets on with tidying things up, I may help depending what state I am in,otherwise I am sitting in a heap and rubbing my arm and neck a lot and whining about back pain. I am still pretty out out of it at this point as last nights medication still hasn't worn off and I have taken the morning dose, falling asleep is common and I can be quite confused.
Then we have lunch together and my partner gives me the next medication dose.
Then we relax for the afternoon, usually me on here and him watching tv or playing a computer game, quite often he naps if he has been up with my MIL the night before (much to my partners horror she only seems to need 4 hours sleep these days). I chat online to my best friend and teacher friend.
Then we have dinner and my partner gives me the evening dose of my medication.
Then gentler physio exercises for my neck and arm.
Then my partner does a final bit of tidying up and he goes off to my MIL for the night anytime between 8-9pm and I stay here until I get tired, often chatting to my partner online. I take my final medication dose and go to bed.

It isn't exciting but it is a regular routine. It obviously all falls apart during psychotic episodes and then anything can happen. Also at weekends my partner usually spends the night here so we do things when we feel like it. Looking back at that I seem to be taking medication every 2 minutes. Unless I say otherwise presume I always have a pill in my mouth.