Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, there you go. I wasn't fully asleep for 9 hours. I apparently got up and talked to my partner for 30 minutes inbetween and went back to bed, or rather the floor. I am now thinking that it was an MPD thing and someone else took over. It is a classic losing time situation within MPD when someone else takes charge of the body while the host (me) sleeps. Wonder what caused that?

I didn't even wake up sleepy. I was sitting on the sofa and then I was wide awake on the bedroom floor but was apparently active twice and conversational once without knowing it. So confused...

I hate losing time. I need to talk to someone in the inner world and find out why they chose to do that. No stealing the body without letting me know first!

And as I discover more - apparently when my partner came to bed for his nap I made sure he had enough duvet (I was still in bed at this point) and had my eyes open, checked he was ok and said goodnight. So almost 100% sure that it wasn't me. I do trust them to keep me safe so I am not worried as such, after all they kept me safe for 9 months once. But some warning would be nice as well as a reason why!

Pyxis

Hi WaS!

I found this beautiful blue light-cloak for you!



You can enlarge it so that it fills the screen.

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, that is beautiful Pyxis! Thank you. I am keeping that!

Waves_and_Smiles

So glag you got some sleep dibuzz, I did a little cheer for you!

Good luck today elsien, let us how it went. I am thinking of you.

Hope the building work goes ok, LIR

Another shelf whitewing? I can do that! Well done to you, too!

I am still utterly bemused and confused, I have to look on the bright side in situations like this and say at least no harm come to me and I feel very rested. I am still glaring inwardly at inner world people though, they seem to find it funny!

For the record - Inner world people are the MPD ones, reflections of me. Nothing whatsoever to do with the bad voices.

haybel19

Sorry to be late to the party today- feeling under the weather and have not had much sleep.


WaS if you don't mind I have a question... I nearly didn't post it as didn't know how to word it and worried about asking especially as they are probably silly questions...


Firstly when someone takes over are they fully operational? Is there anyway for your partner to identify that it is not you for example? Second I wondered if they were to give your partner a kiss goodnight whether you would feel jealous as it was not you? Or cross with him for not being aware it was not you?


I hope you do not mind me asking. I am trying to be braver and ask things.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aww, those questions are fine, haybel! No need to worry.

They are totally fully functional and can do whatever I can, although they may have slightly different memories. My partner can tell some of them, but not others. There is one who has very different gestures and a different accent to me so she is quite obvious and he can always spot her. Last night's one he didn't spot but then there was minimal conversation apparently so he didn;t have much to go on.

We agreed that my partner is specifically my partner only. The others may hug him but they won't go further than that. To them he is their best friend. I am not sure how I would I feel if they started treating him as a partner really, probably more awkward than anything else? Unlike the bad voices the inner world people aren't symptoms of an illness, they are different parts of me that I created when things got too much for me so in a way it is still me, just different parts I have minimal access to. I am rather glad that we just keep him as my partner, though as I think it could also feel awkward for him if it was more.

haybel19

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Aww, those questions are fine, haybel! No need to worry.

They are totally fully functional and can do whatever I can, although they may have slightly different memories. My partner can tell some of them, but not others. There is one who has very different gestures and a different accent to me so she is quite obvious and he can always spot her. Last night's one he didn't spot but then there was minimal conversation apparently so he didn;t have much to go on.

We agreed that my partner is specifically my partner only. The others may hug him but they won't go further than that. To them he is their best friend. I am not sure how I would I feel if they started treating him as a partner really, probably more awkward than anything else? Unlike the bad voices the inner world people aren't symptoms of an illness, they are different parts of me that I created when things got too much for me so in a way it is still me, just different parts I have minimal access to. I am rather glad that we just keep him as my partner, though as I think it could also feel awkward for him if it was more.

Thank you WaS. When you say you agreed he was just your partner? How did you agree that?


Sorry I just find the mind absolutely fascinating.

Waves_and_Smiles

Whenever I have dated anyone we have always had a chat about it. Some of my past boyfriends inner people didn;t like, and they were right not to! As my partner was my close friend before we got together everyone already liked him and thought of him as a friend so it was an easy transition. They never asked if they could date him, too. They were just happy that I chose someone that they thought was good for me for once!

The mind is incredibly fascinating! MPD is an amazing condition, invented by a child purely to save itself when it had no other option. The fact that there are quite a few people with it implies that is a natural instinct in a child that is then lost when more socialisation takes place. Far from being a weird thing, it is the brains natural choice when it feels it is close to death and has no other option. The whole concept of MPD is absolutely fascinating.

haybel19

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Whenever I have dated anyone we have always had a chat about it. Some of my past boyfriends inner people didn;t like, and they were right not to! As my partner was my close friend before we got together everyone already liked him and thought of him as a friend so it was an easy transition. They never asked if they could date him, too. They were just happy that I chose someone that they thought was good for me for once!

The mind is incredibly fascinating! MPD is an amazing condition, invented by a child purely to save itself when it had no other option. The fact that there are quite a few people with it implies that is a natural instinct in a child that is then lost when more socialisation takes place. Far from being a weird thing, it is the brains natural choice when it feels it is close to death and has no other option. The whole concept of MPD is absolutely fascinating.

I agree it is absolutely fascinating thank you for explaining. When you lose time is it possible to find out who the guilty culprit was?

Waves_and_Smiles

Sometimes! On occasions they'll tell me who it was but not on others. I don't know everyone in the inner world and some people I can't/am not allowed to meet. This is because they hold very bad memories that they saved me from experiencing, like whoever was there over the missing 9 months. If I meet these people then I will get some of the memories back and as they were so bad that I had to go away in the first place it would be very distressing and likely make me unwell.

They pop out for all different reasons. Sometimes because I am under stress and they want to help, sometimes because I drift off and it isn't the right time for it and someone needs to function, other times because a situation or trigger occurs that I know nothing about but I would still pick up the fear and then be in a mess and not know why, or even sometimes just because they want to! Lucee has been known to pop out just for fun although she is always supervised and I can feel her coming so I am always aware.

Times like last night are rare because I usually have knowledge of when it will happen, it is very unusual for me to lose time and then suddenly wake up with no knowledge that I have been gone. Usually I can feel myself changing but last night I was just switched off and back on again today. I still don't have any idea why it happened and no one is volunteering any information. Although I do have a theory that because I had reflux, it's TOTM. I was still hurting from the muscle clenching and then had the radio waves incident that they simply thought that they would give me a break.