Can't stop being jealous of husband's cousin - How to stop green eyed monster

FatVonD

I seem to recall reading years ago that envy is healthy but jealousy isn't. I can kind of see that's true, if I'm envious of someone's good fortune I don't begrudge them it, I just want the same as what they've got whereas if I'm jealous I don't want them to have it either!

You don't sound like you want your SIL to lose everything overnight so I don't think you've crossed the line.

Like a lot of the other posters I do have stuff I can think of when I'm feeling hard done by (a childhood friend was murdered in her late 20s and would probably love to be living any life right now) but that doesn't mean I don't still envy people stuff. Not cars or clothes in my case but houses (I live in a very small house in a very affluent area so am surrounded by houses I will never be able to afford) and an income that means I can afford to have Sunday lunch in the garden of the local pub every weekend in the summer. We did in fact do that today* but it's only the second time in 6 years and, yep, I do look on enviously when I drive past and everyone is living the lifestyle I'd like to live.

Edited to add: *£42 for 2 adult meals, 1 child's meal (mine, I'm on a diet!) and 3 soft drinks :eek:

Mrs_Ryan

I cant help thinking I would love to be a 'trophy wife' I'm friends with someone on Facebook who I was at primary school and secondary school with, she seems to have exactly the sort of life i would love- jetting off here there and everywhere in her role as WAG (her words not mine!) and I can't help being very jealous. I am likewise jealous of a friend I have known since the age of 3- she is doing the job I wanted to do most and is married to a guy that clearly adores her Whereas I'm existing on benefits in a grotty house which is falling down around us with a commitment phobe OH and I'm not really of any use to anyone now I can't do the only job I've had that I was any good at and wanted to do
I lost 5 stone as I thought I would feel happier if I was thinner but my confidence is shot. I just look at everyone else and think would I be happier if I had their lives? Mum tells me that no one is perfect and behind those perfect looking lives there's always something but I just think I want that life!!

marmitepotato

Back in the early 80's, my then OH and I were stationed in Germany. We had a little baby boy who died of cot death when he was just three months old. German funeral costs were very expensive and we had to take out a loan to cover this. The Army arranged a UK posting and we moved back to an married quarters in the South East.

Money was so tight due to the loan to bury our son. I became friendly with my neighbour whose hubby was a Sargent in The Pay Corps. I was struggling to feed us on a couple of quid a week and sometimes when the cash ran out my tea would consist of boiled potatoes. My neighbour, on the other hand, had £40 a week housekeeping and an extra £20 just to spend on herself. I can't tell you how jealous and envious I was of her, she just wasted money on stuff she didn't need and I would be scrabbling down the back of the settee for lost pennies.

Roll on a couple of years and we got posted to Hong Kong. My OH was sent back to the UK for a course, on that course was a guy who knew my ex neighbour and her hubby. He was in Colchester prison for theft and fraud, whist she was living on benifits in a council flat.

This taught me a lesson that I have lived by since then. Never ever be jealous of anyone, because you just don't know what's hidden behind the outer facard of their lives.

OP just get on with your life and don't worry about the material possessions of others.