Can't stop being jealous of husband's cousin - How to stop green eyed monster

Mrs_pbradley936

You have to come to terms with this for the sake of your sanity. There will always be people with more money, a better car, a bigger house, better looking, better figure or whatever. The "whatever" does not matter - you need to seek you own happiness and find it.


Even if you could wave a magic wand and have all the things you think you want - you still would not be satisfied. If you were breathtakingly beautiful you would start to worry about wrinkles and looking older.

*max*

Person_one wrote: »

Eh? How can you tell whether she loved ones based on a description of her decor?

I agree. There's some reverse snobbery going on. As if people who have money and all that goes with it can't possibly be as happy or fulfilled as us mere mortals who don't have as much. Why on earth make that assumption? Just because they can afford the finest things money can buy doesn't mean they are automatically shallow or vapid human beings. It just means they have money and enjoy spending it. I don't see anything wrong with it. I would be very happy to do the same!

suejb2

If and when you get over this feeling of jealousy with your husband's cousin I'm almost sure you will move onto somebody else. Maybe the woman down the road has "this and that" and you have only "that". Maybe your work colleague has "this and that" and you now have only "this".
I cannot offer any remedies just simply try and be happy with your lot.

Gingernutty

Gingernutty wrote: »

The one I'm really jealous of, though, is Michigan Gingernutty - she is having some major remodelling done with a huge cedar lined walk-in wardrobe/dressing room that alone, is bigger than my bedroom.

One wall is just shoes. A second is divided into space for blouses, skirts, trousers, "hats and sundries", a special 90" section for "dresses and gowns" and a third wall devoted to more shoes, boots and hats.

According to the interior designer who's sending me pictures of furniture, there's space for an "adorable little" white leather corner couch which, if the picture's right looks like it sleeps a family of six, easily.

There's the pool - she's been stocking up on Spring supplies - filters and the like and a garden she's still not happy with and is on her second set of landscape gardeners to try and sort out a few issues.

And the holidays!! Darlings!!! The skiing trip to Aspen was a highlight, she regularly visits casinos, spas and golf resorts and I get the spam marketing emails.

She and one of the Irish Gingernuttys have recently bought new cars (both Fords but they both flirted with Nissans, coincidentally) and they all seem to have plenty of friends.

meritaten wrote: »

you know something? I actually feel sorry for Michigan Gingernutty - she sounds like she is a Barbiedoll living a Barbiedoll life in Barbies Dream home with all the Barbie accessories....................but, it doesn't sound like there is anything REAL in her life. like love, and people who love her.

my life isn't going to make the bestseller lists or a Hollywood movie - but its a real life with mostly joy and love and fun! I somehow think that these 'perfect people' are all whats on show and there is simply no substance to them.

Person_one wrote: »

Eh? How can you tell whether she loved ones based on a description of her decor?

She had trouble getting someone to join her in Aspen and is some sort of control freak perfectionist.

There's no mention of family, social life, work or anything. Just a collection of email friends who keep failing to update their address books.

One, a new convert to gmail, wanted to know how to forward an email and asked me. AFTER I TOLD HER I WASN'T HER FRIEND!!

Obviously, all the other Gingernuttys must have got their email addresses right at some stage and I'm only getting glimpses of their lives - but Michigan Gingernutty seems to know what she's about and has the wherewithall to get what she wants.

But still, the way she fired the first set of landscapers.......Wow!

Georgiegirl256

meritaten wrote: »

you know something? I actually feel sorry for Michigan Gingernutty - she sounds like she is a Barbiedoll living a Barbiedoll life in Barbies Dream home with all the Barbie accessories....................but, it doesn't sound like there is anything REAL in her life. like love, and people who love her.

my life isn't going to make the bestseller lists or a Hollywood movie - but its a real life with mostly joy and love and fun! I somehow think that these 'perfect people' are all whats on show and there is simply no substance to them.

That's very judgemental.

paulsad

I've been fightin the green eyed monster for years ... you can't beat it just got to live with the bar steward ... and realize its just you tormenting yourself

Gingernutty

I suspect, that in our own ham fisted way, we're trying to tell the OP that what she's seeing may not be the whole picture.

Yes, the public face of the people we meet is only one side/aspect to their lives - most people try to show their best (enviable) side.

We don't know what their insecurities are, their regrets, their jealousies and what they have to do/put up with to have the life that we envy.

meritaten

Judgemental? yes, of course it is. But, so is assuming that someone else has a better life because they have a better car, house, garden or lifestyle. That too is judgemental isn't it? and who is to say who is right or wrong? Michigan Gingernutty may be as happy as larry, but, I am not sure that HER lifestyle would make ME happy - I simply could not be arrrrrsed to worry about cedar lined dressing rooms. or weekends in Aspen would be my idea of hell on earth, lol. I HATE the cold!

dandelionclock30

BucksLady wrote: »

One of my grandmother's sayings was 'if you've got your health, you've got everything' and with each year that passes, I realise how wise those words are. Life is short, and much too short to dwell on things which we can't change.

Very true, look at how Diana Princess of Wales, and Michael Schumacher ended up. Your health is the main thing along with your family.

Antimoron

meritaten wrote: »

Judgemental? yes, of course it is. But, so is assuming that someone else has a better life because they have a better car, house, garden or lifestyle. That too is judgemental isn't it? and who is to say who is right or wrong? Michigan Gingernutty may be as happy as larry, but, I am not sure that HER lifestyle would make ME happy - I simply could not be arrrrrsed to worry about cedar lined dressing rooms. or weekends in Aspen would be my idea of hell on earth, lol. I HATE the cold!

I don't think you know the meaning of judgemental.

I don't see this other person you claim you're happier than listing reasons why your life is better than theirs.

They enjoy their fancy cars, houses, Aspen and cedar lined dressing and I doubt that they are asking (or even thinking about whether) you're "arrrrrsed" about it.

My point is that you have no place concluding that because they have those things they aren't happy.

Infact, some people would describe you as having a chip on your shoulder.

My point is you have no place concluding that those people are less happy than you because of the "fine things they have"

And vice versa